Birthday party

[omg25]

I have a birthday party i have to go to on sunday. Its my boyfriends friends and i dont like them. But my boyfriend goes to all my partys so how do i go and have fun? My anxiety is high about the party. Should i not go or would that be selfish of me? Any advice?

[Xila31]

I would say that sometimes you have to face your anxiety. I have high anxiety that is often so terrible it makes me physically ill, so don't think I'm just saying that. But I get put in a lot of situations where I can't back down and I have to struggle through it. I would say that you should tell your boyfriend about your anxiety but also tell him you're going to go to the party.

I say this because if he is always doing things like parties for you, and you are backing out of things he wants to do, then it will cause problems in your relationship. He will start to resent you and start to think you are not inerested in being part of his life. He could actually get mad at you for being bipolar and that's bad.

So tell him about the anxiety but that you will go. Maybe the two of you can make up a code word or something so that if you do have a sever attack he can help you. But, I'm betting that maybe there is another girlfriend or someone you can become aquaintances with for these type of events so you will feel more comfortable.

Anyway, good luck and I hope everything works out!

[Twelvesgirl]

I have this same problem, only with going to see my husbands parents. Also I have to see his EXES parents...yes you read that right, she bailed on him and his kids and we have to see them. I have gone drunk to see them both. I also have taken my anxiety meds before hand because I'm sure that I will end up having an attack. I've tried telling my husband that its hard for me to go, I've come to the realization that he just doesn't understand nor does he want to even try. So it comes down to how I am going to sedate myself enough to get through it.

[omg25]

lmao!!! Thats a great suggestion Delusion...But both of your ideas are good....Thank you guys..

[Delusion]

Probally not ranked high in the best suggestions you hear but.. if i was in your shoes i would arrive coherently intoxicated then procede to get absolutely hammered :) things are less stressful when everyone is blindly drunk.. people dont get anxiety about not knowing each other then.

[ILADVOCATE]

Think about the anxiety and stress level you'll have and make a realistic decision and let them know. Its better to inform them in advance that you are not up to it than cancel out at the last minute. There are some things I can't do now because of my physical disability but I can define the limitations. Before my current recovery, my limitations as regards anxiety and stress could sometimes be worked on and often I felt better if I engaged in some event rather than if I cancelled out and looked back with regret afterwards but each person is different so it depends.