Aa
Bottom of rock bottom
Hi my name is Susie, I'm bipolar, I have manic depression, asthma, panic attacks, and am addicted to more than one drug. I experience moods from great to terrible. I have no friends except for druggies who I can't stand. I hate who I am who I've become, I hate looking in the mirror. People think I'm crazy sometimes cause I'm fine one minute and not the next. It's hard to have relationships, even with family there's no communication. Who can blames them really?...My mother is a schizo, my dad a doper. I was doing great graduated in 2008 then I started doing meth. Meth is the WORST drug to ever do if your bipolar. I'm just lost and no one understands, I don't wanna live but I don't wanna die.Medications I've taken welbutrin, zoloft, paxil, depakote, prozac. I"m currently taking just klonopon and respridal. Im too young to feel this old, to think this much, to feel more than I can handle. I want a way out. I'm starting to wonder if that's possible anymore.
You may want to explore google and see if there are any online support groups for those recovering from drugs. Maybe if you phone the AA group, or take a taxi to the first one you'd be able to catch a ride with someone after that. Throw them a couple of bucks for gas every now and then. I find people in a smaller town are usually willing to help out in that regard and since it isn't a 20 minute drive or anything its not that much out of the way. Because you can't tell me that your dope doesn't cost the price of a taxi to an NA meeting. Especially if you live in a small town. If you live in a small enough town buy a second hand bike and bike there. The exercise will do you good. If you want it you can make it work.
Because it isn't a habit. It is an addiction. And until you go without it completely it will have a strangle hold on your life. You've got to be sick enough of doing it to quit. You've got to fight for it. There is one person on a different forum I go to that got herself off opiates. It was a horrible time for her. Now she is off she realises that she has to quit her boyfriend whom she very much loves because he is in the drug culture and will bring her back into that life. Being clean is going to mean losing some things that are important to you to get things that are better for you in the long run.
Because it isn't a habit. It is an addiction. And until you go without it completely it will have a strangle hold on your life. You've got to be sick enough of doing it to quit. You've got to fight for it. There is one person on a different forum I go to that got herself off opiates. It was a horrible time for her. Now she is off she realises that she has to quit her boyfriend whom she very much loves because he is in the drug culture and will bring her back into that life. Being clean is going to mean losing some things that are important to you to get things that are better for you in the long run.
yeah I do know that, I've been to 3 facilities enough to know that. I've decided to only do my "habits" on the weekend and slowly taper down because I can't afford rehab and do not have a car to go to aa. thank you for your advice.
FYI, manic-depression is just another term (older one) for bipolar... they are the same thing.
Yes i realize that I have been to gateway but as soon as i got back home to this small town i fell back into it, that was two years ago, seems like an impossible way to live or live without it in my life. I gave up all my friends and familys expectations and now have no gudance to find a way out.
Here we have mental health and addiction services because the two problems are so intertwined. I think you have to deal with the addiction first. Is there any way you could get into a treatment program? Go to narcotics annonymous?
It is not too late. You are young enough to turn this around. Who knows maybe one day you'll be able to speak to people about your experience and how on this day you decided to turn your life around. But you've gotta get help today. Don't wait until tomorrow. Go to an NA meeting tonight. If you wait you may talk yourself out of it.
It is not too late. You are young enough to turn this around. Who knows maybe one day you'll be able to speak to people about your experience and how on this day you decided to turn your life around. But you've gotta get help today. Don't wait until tomorrow. Go to an NA meeting tonight. If you wait you may talk yourself out of it.
Hello,
I agree with you that meth is the worst drug, you don't need to add bipolar on there. Meth is terrible. I have never been on it, but I know of what it can do to people.
I think a good step for you would be to look into getting treatment for your addiction and then you can start healing your bipolar. I don't think your bipolar can get better if your trapped in addiction. :(
I wish I knew of a way to help you, but that's all I can think. Hopefully you can find some help and start getting well.
I agree with you that meth is the worst drug, you don't need to add bipolar on there. Meth is terrible. I have never been on it, but I know of what it can do to people.
I think a good step for you would be to look into getting treatment for your addiction and then you can start healing your bipolar. I don't think your bipolar can get better if your trapped in addiction. :(
I wish I knew of a way to help you, but that's all I can think. Hopefully you can find some help and start getting well.
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