Can Lamotrigine push you down further when you are low?

[manny_g]

Hi,
I need your opinion/thought/help. But first Id appreciate if you can bear with me while I explain myself.

Im a guy in my mid 40s. I have had depression since I was a child which mainly gave me fear- fear of death and fear of the unknown (I came to know it is depression much later in life). I had anger and impulsive behavior as well wen I was young but a high IQ. In my early 20s, once I had an episode of depression for which I was medicated.
In my early 30s, I have been fairly ok but very sensitive to pain killers, mucinex, alcohol. So I don't drink and I avoid painkillers and ephedrine like the plague.

The one constant habit I have had is masturbation. Into my 20s, 30s, and 40s as well. In my 30s, some porn and (non risky) sexual behavior in strip clubs followed by fear/depression that I might have contracted some disease due to something stupid as a scratch on my finger from a table in the strip club. I used to spend hours browsing porn, reading profiles, seeing websites for strip clubs and dancers and a fetish.

I was prescribed welbutrin 75mg per day and I felt better but after a few months, the same behaviors same stupid

My doctor then said I might be bipolar and prescribed Lamictal-Lamotrigine 100 mg per day in addition to the 75mg welbutrin. Things seemed much better; though I masturbated once a day or less, and I did not feel like going to strip clubs etc. I was ok for many months till the passing of a relative a few months back.

From then on, I have had bouts of mild anxiety and mild-depression. Lasts about 3 weeks and Im ok for 1-2 weeks till I get very angry with something or someone, argue and repent, reconcile and go back into a state of mild-anxiety and mild-depression.

Questions:
1. AMAZINGLY...Im PERFECTLY fine for about 10 hrs at night around 8PM till around 6AM. Has anyone had this experience and if so have you figured out some trick to have this wellbeing throughout the day?

2. Can Lamictal can push you down when you are already down causing ups and downs?

3. Also, in your opinion do I have just addiction to porn/stripclubs/fetish or can I be bipolar?
Im frugal, I have good financial planning, I have masters degrees. I am snappy, opinionated, scathing and have little patience for anything but I take very good care of my family and enjoy lots of respect from everyone.
4. Does bipolar always worsen with age or are there instances where symptoms have subsided with age.

Ironically (and quite stupidly) my anxiety is fueled by thoughts of increase in anxiety and depression (and my 'condition') as I age! Any thoughts/opinions/suggestions will help me a lot!
Thank you!

[Bubulous]

Thanks for the information.  The reason I asked about how you felt after your restful sleep is because sometimes that extra sleep is bad for you.  I would suggest that one time you get up after that restful sleep and journal or pray for about 30 minutes then see how you feel.
It does not matter what time you take the lamctal because I have tried both ways (splitting it and taking it all at once) and I was told that it really made little difference.  I would agree with breakdance and say that you shoud do what the doc says though.
Also about the medicine.  Ican understand that it worked for a while but unfotunaly life goes on and as your life changes with the aid of the medicine it may be time for an adjustment.  None of us ever get to stay on the same medicine at the same doe forever (at least very few if any.  Maybe talk to your dr about adjusting the meds and if that does not work you may need to change some around but always d it under the care of a dr.
Good luck Manny and let me know how it goes.

[breakdance202]

Oh. I would stick to what your doc told you then. My doc told me to take it all at night and than i decided to space it out during the day for whatever reason, and that's why it messed me up I think.

[manny_g]

I have not tried taking it all at night. I have stuck to what my doc told me and doing 50-50 but I will try, thank you.
I am a bit scared though that the 8-9 hrs I feel good in a 24 hr period will also be spoilt.
Thank you

[breakdance202]

This is possibly pointless advice and I apologize and give you roses and chocolates and peppermints, but have you thought about taking your full lamictal dose at night? It may help, or not. I tried taking my dose half morning, half night, and it really messed me up. Just an idea. Many ideas. World full of ideas and words

[manny_g]

I don't mind at all; actually I am very thankful for your query.
After 4-5 hrs of very restful sleep, I wake up, see that the clock is 4AM and go back to sleep. I don't know exactly when I fall asleep because Im not too awake. But this time around, it is not deep-sleep. I have some dreams (neither scary not pleasant) and I wake up at around 7AM knowing that the last 2 hrs of sleep was not deep and already starting to feel anxious and depressed.

I can work at my job and family but anxiety and mild-depression bears down on me

My medicines-
8AM: 50mg lamotrigine and 75mg Wellbutrin (bupropion extended release)
10PM: 50mg lamotrigine

These medicines worked for me well for 8 months or so till the passing away of a family member. I didn't think I was in mourning but I guess it did affect me. And now either medicines/times are either not good enough or are contributing to my anxiety.

[Bubulous]

Do you know how you feel after the first 4-5 hours of sleep, before you go back to light sleep (the time in between)?  What morning meds do you take (if you don't mind me asking)?

[manny_g]

Thank you. Lamotrigine worked for me but I will check with my doctor if it is a good idea to take lamotrigine when Im already mourning and feeling kinda flat.

[manny_g]

Thank you CRSeaside. I don't know what natural chemicals that my brain produces that makes me feel perfectly ok at night. And I was wondering if there is someone else who has experienced this and has figured out how to to extend the same feeling over the day.

[manny_g]

Thank you Sir. Just a reply from the support community makes me feel much better.
At night 8 or 9PM onwards, I dont have this anxiety. I sleep well in the night without worries and I question myself why the hell am I worried about during the daytime. But after about 4-5 hrs of good sleep, I wake up and go back to a light sleep and in the morning anxiety and mild-depression with a heavy chest is back again.

Thanks again!

[CRSeaside]

It may be good to be reevaluated to be sure you suffer bipolar disorder. Then the Pdoc in charge can work hard at adjusting your medications.
  There are also Sex Addicts support groups. It may help to talk with others like yourself.
  As the above advice, Cymbalta is one antidepressant that will lower your sex drive. Talk to Pdoc   I was on Wellbutrin & Cymbalta, but recently the Pdoc had me wean off both.
  Personally I had bipolar personality traits all of my life. But I had late onset bipolar disorder. Some people's symptoms go away for many years.
Sleeping & dreaming good? Is that what you meant?

[Bubulous]

First I want to say that the Lamictal is not likely worsening you but might in fact be trying to do it's job.
The masturbation is likely an obsessive behavior that if you are bipolar is worsened by your extreme change in mood.  If it is a behavior that you wish to get away from I would recommend talking to your dr about trying another ssri that might lower your desire to masturbate until you are able to control it on your own.
I have been on Lamictal several times.  It is a mood stabilizer and as it is trying to stabilize you it may make you swing from mania to depression until it stops in the middle like a swinging pendulum.
I need to know what you meant when you said that you were perfectly fine at night.  Are you staying up, not sleeping?  If you answer that I will try to explain what may be going on with your "up" mood in the evening.  How is your sleep?  Do you sleep everyday; at night?

[breakdance202]

All I got was strippers, masturbation, wellbutrin, 40s, possibly bipolar, scratch. Strip clubs make me feel sleazy to. Only been to one. Worried I'd contracted some sort of disease. Lamictal makes me flat. Very flat. Like a flat surface or piece of paper or a painted white wall. So I guess the lm could be, possibly, making you a little down.