Can my son have bipolar disorder?

[jsae]

I am taking my son to the doctor at the end of the month to talk to the doctor about his behavior. I have previously taken him to ask about ADHD were the doctor said his symptoms were still normal  but borderline as not so normal and wanted to give it more time. Since then I have questioned more of his behavior. We are treated by miliatary doctors which at times can be challenging. We are also living overseas so are limited with our doctors in regards to getting second opinions. My son just turned 5 last week. He is very sweet and loving but when his moods change he can be very challenging.

Here is a breakdown of a list I have already discussed with the doc:

hyper
fidety
distracted easily
OCD tendancies/obsessive behavior- such as he will only want 4 grapes and then 4 more/ only 4 at a time. If you put the left shoe on before the right shoe he does not like that. He does not do this all the time but a lot.
Fits of rage- crying, screaming, yelling, he will say things like he hates you or he is packing his stuff up and moving, when you try to ignore his tantrums he will almost try to keep arguing with you even after he says he is not going to talk.
Mood swings- one minute he will be happy and the next minute he will say things like that makes me so mad and he will be in a bad mood.
Jumps from one activity to another quickly.
Can't sit still in school
Lack of eye contact- when an adult is talking to him he tends to look away and won't look you in the eyes unless you remind him.
He does not really have a problem hitting but lately has been hitting here and there.

My husbands aunt has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and no family members on my side have been diagnosed even though they do display some tendancies.

My question is should I be worried about my son having bipolar disorder?
Thanks for any help in advance!

[Jen80138]

I could write about this for days....  I am absolutely NOT A DOCTOR!!!!   Just a mom searching for answers.  I spend nights and days researching.  It really comes down to that.  I have to tell you that there is no doctor out there who has the time to really focus on one child, his school issues, family issues, health issues, etc...  I have three boys....  

I recommend you go to bpkids.org and also additudemag.com  They are both great resources and help you ask the right questions of yourself and the doctor.  All my sons have ADD/ADHD.  I also do, my father, grandfather, cousins, etc....  It doesn't always happen that way.  The only true way to see if your child has ADHD is to do a quick (1 week or so) trial on a ADHD meds.  If your child doesn't respond or just falls asleep....it might not be ADHD.  However, if all of a sudden they can sit down for a meal or finish a sheet of math homework without being distracted by the cat scratching in the litter box in the next room ....or whatever...  then it might be ADHD.  The big kicker is that ALL of the symptoms of ADHD fit into BIPOLAR.  But, with bipolar there are some other things you have to deal with.  A very big sign that BIPOLAR is a strong possibility is that if you do try a stimulant medication and your child becomes even more angry, easily agitated, aggressive, etc...  (I tell you this only from experience)

It's very tough to get doctors stateside to commit to a diagnosis too.  The only person who can make a real true diagnosis of what your child is going through is a child psychiatrist.  I imagine if I cannot find one within 25 miles of my home...and I live in a suburb of a huge city, you might even find it harder overseas.  The other tricky thing with military docs is that if they prescribe controlled substances there is a load of red tape and such that you/they might need to face.  

Anyway, you have to listen to your gut.  Don't let people suggest that you blow this off.  If you have that strong feeling that something is going on, you are the only one who will stand up for your child.  It's not always "normal behavior"  

My youngest has been on ADHD meds and has had terrible success because he's so sensitive to the meds.  We finally found one he could tolerate but he becomes so angry and hateful on them...sure he can sit in preschool......but, he's angry and mean as can be....  

Honestly, it's been so hard to admit my own bipolar disorder to myself (and family and doctors)  And, the thought of my poor, sweet little boy feeling the way I have felt just breaks my heart.....  Finally, he's just tried his first bipolar med......it's a miracle.   In all of his 5 years we haven't had time where we could be together where one of us didn't end up in tears, he smiles, he's kind, he feels good about himself, he eats and sleeps normally.  I thank God that I was brave enough to push and push to find something that would work for him.  

I pray for you that it is nothing but developmental business.  But, if it's not, you and your child's father are the only ones who can make things come together for him.  Children who are not treated who have bipolar grow up into adults with bipolar and carry with them a ship full of baggage from all the years they felt hurt and misunderstood....sometimes those adults commit suicide.  (neurotransmitter.net 2004 statistics say that 10-20 % of folks with bipolar disorder attempt suicide)  

Do your research.

[utahmomma]

Please have your son's thyroid levels checked by the doctors.  My daughter had very similar symptoms basically from birth (not diagnosed until she was about 8).  She was diagnosed as ADHD and bipolar.   Completely unrelated, she had her thyroid removed for suspicious nodules when she was 16 and the vast majority of her symptoms (especially extreme manic episodes) disappeared.  It's worth the blood test to check the thyroid levels.

My son started seeing a psychiatrist last year for depression and I was so happy that a complete thyroid panel the first test the psychiatrist ordered.

[mindersmomof2]

Hi, I read your story and think of mine!  I have a 5 year old daughter.  I have wrote in this column to (mindersmomof2) Please read my story too. I have been having a hard time with my daughter since she was 3.  She has tics:  opening her mouth wide, blinking multiple times, and OCD symptoms: when she takes a drink she says "1234, 1234, 1234" It's so weird because she goes months without doing it too, than it all comes back again. Please read my story, I wrote like 4 times in there!! lots of examples of what's going on in my 5 year old, and then write me back, we can exchange help!!,Mindy

[DLA]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you are a teacher.  Yes, we all see our children differently than we see other children.  Good thing, or the human race would probably die out!  lol  

Took a perfect stranger on another forum to bring to my attention that my son has ADD.  Don't know why I couldn't see it.  I had him tested for thyroid disorder since I have that and is what comes to mind first.  My niece, in her I think some times that I see my bipolar coming through, but then I realize she is a 10 yo girl and hormones they are a ragin'!!  

Don't know anything about the motor tics.  Not exactly true, now that I think about it.  When I get really nervous or upset I do this weird thing that is like . . . a weird silent burp that I feel more than hear, thank goodness.  Was doing it a lot yesterday on my way to dr's appt and while there.  Hmm.  Maybe that's what that is.?  Have wondered for a long time, will have to look it up.

Am hoping and praying your little one doesn't have bipolar disorder.  It is not a fun way to live.  But if he does I know you will take excellent care to make sure he gets the best treatment!  =)  

Dac

[jsae]

Thank you for your advise and valuable information. One other thing I forgot to mention was that my son also has a motor tic. It sounds like a hiccuping sound. It comes and goes and seems to happen more with anxiety. Right now he has not had the tic for several months. When it comes it will usually linger for about 2 weeks or so. I read that this is sometimes related to bipolar disease. A lot of me wants to say it is normal but then at times when his behavior is so bad I wonder if it is normal for a 5 year old to get so mad. Just want to be proactive. I have observed my son in class and being an educator myself I do notice some differences. I taught kindergarten for the last two years and have seen my share of different personalities. Like I said at times some of what I see from him seems typical 5 year old behavior and then at other times it does not seem normal. Obviously I am seeing my child way more personally then I ever saw any of my students but never the less I see differences with him.

[DLA]

As a mother of a 7 year old boy and the aunt of a 6 yo boy, who is always with me most of this sounds pretty normal.  Sounds like he may be hyper active but not enough that I personally would put him on meds for.

5 seems like a really rough age, especially for boys.  When they start "real" school there is so much expected out of them and they have to be so tough while they are away from us.  My dr equated the OCD symptoms as just having to have some things in their own order.  When so much is put upon them suddenly that has to be done a certain way according to some one else, this is their way of controlling some of their time.  

After spending lots of time in my son's kindergarten class 2 years ago, he sounds pretty normal.  Most of them fidget a lot, don't make eye contact, easily distracted by say a dead gnat on the desk.  It's crazy.

Also had quite a time with him having temper tantrums.  But as soon as he figured it wasn't working any more, I quit feeling guilty about not being with him, they stopped.

5 year olds are generally very eager to please adults, so try giving him some responsibilities around the house.  My sons' jobs were to set the table for supper and empty the little trash cans around the house into the big one.  Then he would do things on his own to help like drying the dishes when I was doing them.  He didn't always do a great job, but he was soooo proud of himself and I praised him for it.  Made us both feel a lot better.

You are a wonderful mother for caring enough to get on here and ask about this.  And this is only another mother's opinion.  But I am also a mother with bipolar and ADD and this really doesn't sound like more than just normal 5 year old behavior to me.

Have you tried going into his classroom for a while and sitting in the back just observing?  You have to be there long enough for him to really forget you're there.  If you do this I bet you will find he's not much different than most of the little boys in his class.

Hope you find some answers.  Hang in there and just keep loving him and ignore the temper tantrums and the things he screams at you, they are to get a reaction.  You know he doesn't really mean them.  He really loves you as much as you do him.