Daily Numbers

-1

Hopeless, worthless, sad, hazy, confused, suicide. The only reason I haven't is because I have a friend making sure I don't.

I tried to tell my Mom I had to call the "hotline" twice this week and she said, "Thats great... So what now... So now we are supposed to watch you and make sure you don't do anything?... Thats great." She said she thinks I am doing it to get attention. When I actually do it... will she still be claiming that? I tried getting ahold of my doctor, but she hasn't called back. Or the office people... to go to the hospital I would be disowned and I have nowhere to go... had to move back home after last being in the hospital... and be in even more in debt then I already am. Over $10,000. Please tell me someone why I should not do this. 'Cause I know I don't want to... but I can't live like this anymore.

[leesarene]

Exactly.

[LetaB]

  Oooh, that makes me so angry! When I was first hospitalized for suicidal thinking I was accused of the same thing by my exhusband - looking for attention. I am funny, voluptuous, and a real weirdo hence I generally get way more attention than I could wish for (which is why I don't like to leave the house). You don't need your mother's permission - or support - to get the help you need. Obviously you need to get out of the home situation you're in - it's only making you more depressed. If you don't have the money to pay for a stay an a psych ward (god knows I didn't and still don't) than your state will pay for it! Call social services tomorrow. Call a suicide line tonight. We, as a country, do not let bright creative young women not get treatment because of money issues. Come on, Leesarene, try to use your options!