Depressed

[darlenedaisy]

I am just finishing two years of full time college, and the stress at the end of this semester has triggered my bipolar.

My moods swing every 5 days, and has been haywire since March 1.

I am currently in a depression, i feel horrible, and so alone. Do not want to be around people.  Am single.  I talk to my mom on the phone.  My mom has just told me, I am to much of a burden to talk to and suggested I get help elsewhere. I do understand, but wish she could tell me that when I am not so low in depression.  Now I am obsessing about what she said, crying, and feeling guilty.

I know it will end, but it feels right now like this low will last forever. I think how awful it is to suffer like this. Normally I can cope with all this, but my depressed brain sees everything negative right now.

I am on meds, and just hoping it will stabilize again soon.  Feels like no one understands. I know people here will know what I am talking about.

Thanks for listening. Darlene

[BipolarBear75]

If you ever need anyone to "talk" to let me know. I as many here do understand. I try to keep this little adage in mind "everything is temporary" . I know that doesn't seem like much but if you keep thinking that way during your depressive downs....it may get you through.

I have no support from my parents either. As a matter of fact when I told my parents about my diagnosis three and a half years ago, my mom said "I thought you were stronger than that". That made me chicken out of telling the rest of my family even and to this day they don't know. I ruminated over that.....for ages....hell I can still hear that going through my head. So your mom said that upsetting and awfully unsupporitive comment but try and get your support elsewhere....really and truly; you will need it elsewhere. I am here to give it too.

[lindahand]

I am so sorry your mom said such a horrible thing to you. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. Sometimes through school there are free therapists or psychologists. May be worth seeking that out. Even just to help you deal with the last few weeks of stress.

May be worth talking to your psychiatrist. Sometimes a slight increase in medication can be helpful.

When you are on an upswing I'd look for a support group in your area. Some are dreadful but some are really helpful. I was in one where I learned so much about bipolar and how others were coping with it. Those of us who were more 'out' we'd go for coffee afterwards. It was okay to be really hypomanic (people wouldn't come when they were manic - we'd just hear the wild stories afterwards)  or a mixed up crying mess, or somewhere around normal. It was great that I could come as I was (even not having showered for a few days) and they would accept me. Just hearing someone say your name and saying it is good to see you can make the world of difference sometimes. That meant a lot when I was having trouble accepting myself.

When we moved I really missed that group of people. The support group in this city just isn't worth going to. I don't know what people get out of it because it seems like they have the same conversation over and over again. Each person says something and no one is allowed to comment of provide input which is where all the good stuff happened at my last group. It is worth the risk to try it out though. Give it about 3 weeks before making a judgement as some sessions are more lack luster than others. And its okay if all you want to say is your name for a few sessions or if you want to tell your story right away.

[milkmoney]

I know what you mean. I prefer to isolate too. Keeping to myself is just easier. Just hold on in knowing that it WILL pass. I don't usually respond to threads because i don't know what to say that's uplifting. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

[freddie8605]

Yeah I know how hard it is, and i know some people are worse than me out there to. You could trying to find that wee bit of HOPE and hold on to it. focus and do things that you find enjoyable, for me in my mixed state i obsessed about exercise and it increase my energy and decreased my anger and anxiety. and i paint too. It is hard and i know it annoys me when people make it sound so easy, but you can only do your best.

Thinking of you

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I used to ruminate over things like that until I started taking Zoloft and now I just am apathetic about a lot of things I normally would ruminate over.

[grannienannie]

darlene why so depressed? there must be a reason...I feel so bad for you...if you ever need to talk..I'm here