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Do I need to be hospitalized?
I have been diagnosed with mixed bipolar, bpd, PTSD, and panic disorder. I quit taking my meds about three months ago due to a desire to have a baby. I've been managing fairly well using diet exercise and therapy until recently. I've become somewhat paranoid that my partner is cheating on me. I have intense crying spells and mood swings like crazy. Yesterday I cut again for the first time in ages and felt like I was slipping back into psychosis.  I haven't been sleeping for days at a time. I was tempted to pack a bag and call a ride share post from Craigslist and just hit the road. Today I resumed my exercise plan and stayed busy cooking and talking to a friend but now I am say down taking a break I feel the blues setting in.  
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1551327_tn?1414146344
Were there no alternative meds that you could go on?  You likely would benefit from going into the hospital.  My psych dr told me that if I asked myself if I should go into the hospital it meant yes I should.  They will likely put you back on meds but there also may be alternative ways to cope if you are unwilling to go that route.  I have been in a mixed state today and honestly can't tell you how I feel right now but I can't go into the hospital at this time.  I try to relax and tell myself it will pass.  I know why I cry.  I know why I want to cut, and I know that it will pass if I don't.  You have to resist the urge to cut.  I was proud of myself for not doing it earlier.  I played with my neice and stayed around people.  I also removed sharp objects from my easy reach last time I cut, so I actually have to take a few extra steps to do it now.  Hang in there and at least call someone or come back on here and talk to us.

You can do this.  If I can, you can.

Larry
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Avatar_universal
Thank you Larry. I did surround myself with my three year old son which kept me distracted for the most part but after he went to bed I went for a walk on the beach and depression and anger set in. I tried journaling about it but it turned into a suicide note so I put the pen away and went back home. I tried telling on myself to a friend which works a little. It's almost 3am and I still can't sleep. The longer I am awake the more psychotic I feel and this is day three.
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1551327_tn?1414146344
I finally got some sleep and I feel amazing.
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4858115_tn?1360112961
I am also diagnosed with the same 3 disorders, as well as agoraphobia. I don't think hospitalization would be the best option, because a lot of people who end up there ( especially when you know your disorder already, and have a handle of it when you are on your meds ) get trapped in that endless cycle of cry, hospital, meds, no meds, cry, hospital etc. I think the best thing to do would be every time you feel that way employ those coping skills. Make a bath, read a book, go outside ( I heavily recommend vitamin d tablets, they improve your mood a bit and wont to harm to a baby)
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4858115_tn?1360112961
Also try Melatonin. It is a natural healthy sleep aid. That with a good book and a warm bath, your sure to sleep.
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Avatar_universal
Thanks for all the feedback.  Things started picking up after I got a couple of good nights sleep but the damage had already been done to my four year relationship and today my gf called it quits. Needless to say I am back to devastated and depressed. My brain is scrambling to find a plan but all I keep thinking about is using my lithium to end it all. Four more hours til she is home and idk if I have what it takes to deal with more fighting.
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