Do you suffer from paranoia?

[LetaB]

Anyone else here feel that they do not suffer from paranoia? I've noticed more and more lately, when I correspond with other BP sufferers that I sometimes have to walk on eggshells to make them feel comfortable at times. If I have it I just can't see it. How many here feel the same way?

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54%

 (13) 

moderate paranoia

25%

 (6) 

intense paranoia

4%

 (1) 

other people CLAIM I'm paranoid but...

16%

 (4) 

not paranoid

24 Members voted

[bernie40]

I don't think it is always a case of paranoia, I know that I can "over think" things a lot and when conversing by written word rather than spoken it can be difficult to know when someone is being witty, sarky etc  Without the flow of continuous conversation the "feel" of mood/emotion is easily lost.

With regard to treading on eggshells, I do that more because throughout life I've been at the brunt of someone elses shifting moods.

Do I have paranoia, I own up that yes at times I do, it tends to be when I'm not feeling in control of a situation or if I get an unexpected response to something I've said or done.

I think that all people are guilty of being inconsistent but those with BP moreso.  I know that I can respond one way to a situation one day and then respond completely differently in that same situation on a different day (or part of a day).

I try very hard to be sure that what I have written can't be misconstrued, but being human I don't always manage that, lol!

Good question though and I admit to "moderate paranoia" :-)

[LetaB]

  Perhaps I should have phrased some things differently. If you think I am sending this poll because of YOU (ANY of you!) well, isn't THAT a little paranoid? If writing things online and then fretting that those things will be misconstrued than I AM paranoid but in reality I'm just sometimes insensitive or ignorant and have a wicked sense of humor which is sometimes just that - wicked. I think everyone in the human race has a "paranoid" moment now or then and it makes sense that this symptom comes and goes according to the highs and lows of BP but I sometimes I wonder if I really am bipolar - the wild mood swings, paranoia, bursts of energy are all foreign to me. I'm trying to ascertain if others feel only some of the major symptoms listed at the top of the page  apply to them too.

[cowgirlnerd]

Hey!  I used to really get paranoid - before the Lamictal started.    I STILL get paranoid.  My problem has always been like Helen said, "over thinking things".  I used to share WAY to much and then think think think about what I said - and if I should have said what I said - blah blah.

I wouldn't worry and don't walk on eggshells.  Just be yourself.  Bipolar's are a bit different - if you don't believe it - wait a few days we may be REALLY different... UP / Down / UP / Down......   :)

We luv ya!  

[ILADVOCATE]

Off a mood stabilizer I would. Not now no. Regardless of efficacy the antipsychotic agent I take still requires a mood stabilizer (which now is Clonidine). Also some of the (FDA approved medications) treatments for my physical disability cause personality alterations (including paranoia) such as Zofran which is why I had to go off it. And physically during times of extreme spasmic activity I completely lose reasoning. Before recovery I did experience paranoia markedly though from things that were not at all threatening. They were clear delusions. Those are gone. I did notice and was informed by my psychiatrist that when I was on Lamictal that it had an antipsychotic effect but if someone needs an antipsychotic it can't replace it though. Most of the other mood stabilizers had little effect as regards paranoia except being that I have schizoaffective they are needed as adjuncts to antipsychotics. The only exception was Clozaril (which for me and many people did not require a mood stabilizer) but that's usually a last resort medication.

[corlenbelspar]

I get paranoid about the smallest things and worry that the worst case scenario is going to happen as a result of my actions although I guess I usually have a just reason for this but still I worry myself sick over it.  If you could name off any type of paranoid fear, I've probably went through it at one point or another... and then there's the bizarre and unusual things I worry about that you probably should only worry about if you were in a science fiction or fantasy world... I guess.

I forget who said it, I think a late friend of mine who I didn't get to know for very long because he died not long after I met him, but whoever it was said that paranoia is a survival trait which I believe is true.

[LetaB]

  Well now, I DO get very anxious about how I've offended people, etc. but that's because I really HAVE offended many people - without any clue that I was doing so but y'all can't believe that, right? So I think that's anxiety not paranoia.

[bernie40]

I found it an interesting question and a great way to discuss the blurry line between what is paranoia - self preservation - over thinking - over sensitiviy.

I do not have a big enough ego to think it was aimed at me :-o  I wish I did, lol

I wish I could say I don't have many of the symptoms listed but unfortunately I do :(  Have you had more than one opinion (professional) regarding your diagnosis?  It's easy for me to say get another opinion but I know that's difficult where you are :-s

xoxoxo

[ILADVOCATE]

Difficulty reading other people's emotions can be a part of that state as well. I know before recovery that was a problem for me. You might want to speak to your psychiatrist about all this as there may be more going on and within their judgment they might further understand what specific psychiatric disability you have and what treatment might work on it.

[Twelvesgirl]

Are you talking about me LetaB? I think you're talking about me...I think maybe you've been talking about me all along....behind my back or computer back...or whatever....its called. Please don't be offended anyone...I'm joking.

Anyhow, I do get paranoid, but I had a super bad scary paranoia episode, if you want I'll tell you about it PM. It would be my personal definition of paranoia. I think I agree w/ bulldozer about the blurry line thing, over thinking, sensitivity. I'm in a particularly good mood right now, but I may be on later, or tomorrow and think you're mad at me! I don't think it's paranoia, I think I'm just a sensitive person. But when you're walking down the street and  you think everyone whos on the street, and everyone who maybe in their houses are all talking about you, and thinking horrible things about you, I think that might be paranoia.

Maybe I'm a little uppity today, and maybe none of that made any sense. Hopefully I don't read it later and wish I didn't write it....ugh.

[LetaB]

   Hahahahahahahaha! Thanks. I needed that. Too bad you're joking cause you caught me red handed
   I think I'm a convert now but still not sure. Yes, I do believe that I am usually the hottest topic of gossip in my small town but boy, do I have reasons. Also I am constantly concerned that I've upset someone but again, I have quite a history. Makes me thoughtful though.

[Twelvesgirl]

Well, if you have good reason, then, I guess its not paranoia! You're just being honest w/ yourself and thats a good step towards recovery I've been told! I too am concerned that I've upset someone, but I think that maybe we are just more sensitive, I've always been more sensitive than most other people I know. My mother told me it was a gift, I always thought of it as a bad thing. Anyway, I'm glad I made you laugh!

Talk to you later!

[LetaB]

I can think back a few decades and remember when, at church, my elder sister made the pronouncement that my only daugheter was "sensitive". I lashed out at her and said, honestly, that my girl was wholesome, placid, calm, cheerful. My sister was confused because she thinks "sensitive" is quite positive and I see it as so very negative. If I'm so "sensitive" why do I step on so many toes? Oh, I pay for it in  spades - eventually but it never makes me think twice the next time. No, ILADVOCATE, it's not that I don't read their faces but when it comes out of my mouth it's too late or my sense of humor is so different than many people. But usually it's a case of the things I write, with no tone of voice to shade their meanings, that people translate as abrupt or mean spirited which was not at all what I had intended, if you see what I mean.

[blakismom]

When I first began treatment I was very paranoid. I thought that everyone was talking about me and that there was some kind of conspiracy, like everyone was in on a secret except for me.

As far as walking on eggshells I know that my boyfriend does sometimes becuase before I became stable, saying or doing the wrong thing would most likely send me into a nosedive or a tailspin.

[blacksoul004]

personaly... i always think people are out to get me. i always think someones plotting something to bring me down. i hate it.... when my dad does something with another sibling its there plot to throw me out of the family, or a friend talks to much about a sertian topic and i automaticly think there being cocky or are tring to out shine me... it gets tireing trying to fight off silly assuptions..

[velvetvenus]

i get paranoid in certain cycles, like everyone around me is staring at me or other people are talking about me or even someone is following me at times. i get worried when my husband gets mad at me that he doesn't love me anymore and my lively hood is coming to an end and that's never the case. i get paranoid that people won't like me or that i'm acting strange in public and people are noticing it. from the bipolar to the anxiety i have certain moments of paranoia.... great question.

[Bluetwo]

When I go into hypo mania it can be a enjoyable ride. It reminds me of a roller coaster ride. No problems going up to the summit. It's like a long conveyer chain pulling you up to the top. I am productive and energetic at work. When II get nearly to the top all the negative feelings start to accumilate and that's when the paranoia starts to creeps in. I really think people are out to get me and its not a very comfortable state to be in. I get very suspicious about people and that's not a very comfortable state to be in. You know your imagination is running amuck. I also get very irritable and aggitated because I have all this negativity. When I crest the top of the roller coaster and go over the summt....my descent is my depression.

Not a very enjoyable ride.

[Jessica616]

Hi. My name is Jessica and Im 16.

I have BP and my paranoia is really kinda ruining things. Ive been looking up paranoia on like WebMD and stuff and it never really sounds like what I have, just parts of it. Ive been trying to figure out what is causing it and from this blog Im assuming it is the BP.

I always double check and double check things like an ODC thing, but its not exactly the same, because its like Im worried Im not going to do it right. Like what Im writing now Ill probably check it a few more times to make sure I said everything right. And I think the paranoia plays on my guilt. Because I could have done nothing wrong, yet I question whether I did. For example, say Im talking to someone I like, and the conversation goes fine, and afterward (and during but more after when I think about it), I worry that I said something wrong, and then say I go on myspace and he wrote a survey or something and hints that he likes someone, I think its me and tend to obsess to find out if it is. And I feel so stalkerish. I mean I never follow him or anything, but then my paranoia makes me like always check his myspace profile and stuff.. and try and find out who he was talking about. Same thing with a friend if I think I might have said something bad and she says something to indicate shes mad at someone, I think its me and then I start being really nice and kind of annoying and like investigating to see what happened without asking her... I dont care what people think of my, but I do care what the people I love think. And it drives me crazy if something like that happens.

I also get like scared paranoid. Like, ok, when did the movie The Ring come out? about 2003 or something? I do get scared easily, yes, but 6 years and Im STILL afraid the Ring girl is after me. Its worse when I think about it alot. The more I think, the more I freak out. I dont get scared like the FBI is after me or anything that extreme, and I think the Ring girl gave me something specifically to be scared of. I mean, if I had never saw the Ring Im 110% sure Id still think like that, but about a person coming after me. I also, get the feeling that people are following me. Like I said, its not to the extreme, but sometimes if Im alone, and walking down like the hallway, I get the feeling someone is following me and by definition they use that I feel someone is consiring against me, and I would say that, conspiring isnt the right word, but like one person (usually the Ring girl) is coming to get me. And like right now, Im at my moms work and Im alone in her office and Im not that paranoid about the ring girl. I mean because Im thinking about it more and more its starting to get to me now, but the paranois isnt constantly bad. I mean its always there, but it gets better and worse.

I have a very active imagination, and Im scared easily and I think it just makes my paranoia alot worse. But I get the feeling that people are mad at me or talking about me in something they write on myspace, and the being mad plays off my guilt, if I feel I did the slightest bit wrong and I question myself ALOT. and with the talking about me in something someone may write on myspace, whether its good or bad, its like I get bound and determined to find out if it was about me or not. It makes me feel self-centered. And like you guys were talking about, I misinterpret the way people say things if theyre typed or something.

I dont know, is this from the bipolar? I know you guys arent doctors, but Id like to know if you experience it. Im taking currently 100mg or Lamictal. and Provigel is for ADHD. I really dont like taking medication, so I try to stay as low as possible but this is driving me insane. Ive had bipolar since I was about 13. maybe a little earlier. Ive been on abilify which worked well, but made me gain 70 pounds in 6 months, and Ive been on 300mg of Effexor XR ( I dont know if thats how you spell it). Ive been on a few others, but before I was on the Lamictal and Provigel, is when I was taking 20mg of Abilify and 300mg of Effexor XR, and that helped the most with the paranoia and the depression and the manic episodes, etc. but even though I felt the most stable on that, I felt so droggy all the time and tired and like I said I gained soo much weight, it just wasnt worth it. Now on the Lamictal and Provigel, and the lamictal is doing okay. It helps the depression and controls my impulses, but I feel really mentally unstable on it, like Ive been so stressed I now have Adrenal Exhaustion, and Im very irritable, and the paranoia is back. It went away with the Abilify and the Effexor. My impulses are what get me into trouble, Ive attempted suicide twice, and being so stressed and not coping well, the depression came back and Ive been very suicidal. I mean Ive been looking how to hang yourself and been thinking about how to do it, but dont worry, Im not going to do it, but because of the Lamictal with the impulse control I know better than to do that and I wont, even though I wish someone would do it for me.

I just want to know if any of you feel the paranoia like I do, and if you know of a medicine that would help a little better? Like I said I dont like taking alot of medicine because of the side-effects while I take it and the long-term. Also remember Im 16. Or Id love to hear any stories or experiences, or anything helpful. The paranoia is really ruining alot because its basically whats causing all my stress, and making me feel so depressed.

Any information is greatly appreciated! Thank You.

[ILADVOCATE]

You'd do best to speak to your psychiatriast about it but Abilify is an antipsychotic and if a person has psychotic thoughts or paranoia then they might need an antipsychotic in addition to a mood stabilizer. I do. There are a decent number of options as regards antipsychotics and there will be more available in future years as well. For more information on medications for mood stabilization including antipsychotics google "Depression Central" or:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/moodstabilizers.htm
and for a list of medications in development google "psychmeds123". Speak to your psychiatrist. There should be a medication available to help you and there will be an increasing number of options in the near future.

[tweekie]

I get paranoid on occasion but usually its because of my guilty conscience, if I've done something wrong and I don't want anyone to know about it, then I become paranoid and look into things more than I should. Has anyone ever read Crime and Punishment?

[LetaB]

Now I have a guilty conscience because I STILL haven't read Crime and Punishment (or War and Peace, dam it)
Yes, my guilty conscience drives me NUTS and keeps me awake, makes me second guess myself and relive nasty scenes. You have a witness, sister.

[corlenbelspar]

I can't say that I suffer from a guilty conscience, I just suspect just about everyone of trying to take advantage of me or harm me but I guess you get like that if you grew up like I did.

[cowgirlnerd]

I have experienced and do experience a lot of the same things you do.  I really think it's bipolar.  I know that paranoia is a portion of it and it seems like mine is worse when I am manic.  

When I have that, I am usually full blown manic, and have almost an out of body thing going on.  I take Lamictal too, and it does help a lot.  I still have episodes but not like before.  I would do unbelievable unstable things.  I have described it like feeling like being drunk and woozy - detached, etc.  

My big thing is having "preminitions" of impending doom - like coming in and getting fired ( but not just worrying, thinking I can see it and having dejavu or something), "seeing" bad things that are about to happen to people.  

It's odd - I know.  

[ILADVOCATE]

Well I'd say I sometimes experience grandiosity but I know what it is so I keep it in check. It works both ways because before recovery when I could be at times completely psychotic if I talked about conspiracies and the like no one took me seriously. Now that I've participated in some higher level advocacy I am taken seriously but if I were to let any inflated sense of judgment take over it could cause real harm to me and others. I generally when things aren't going well in this regard have people I know as a back up team to read through anything I mail or email to make sure it doesn't come across as a rant and rarely do they need to take much out but there are occasional times. I also am not happy with having to call my psychiatrist on a TTY. He always kept my phone messages in confidence as is required and I completely trust him. But I would not want the relay operator to know any mental difficulties on my part. Yesterday what I was calling about was physical to my neurologist but they asked if I wanted them to call 911. Of course I didn't and I explained but there were times before recovery when I did leave psychotic rants on my psychiatrist's answering machine. He just politely asked me to limit their timing as I know he deleted all of them but a third party hearing them might have made a call on my behalf to 911 if they took them seriously. When I in the past felt paranoid I did believe people could hear me when they couldn't but the problem is in this case they can and it took some getting used to. With the internet as well the world is a lot less confidential than it used to be. I know gmail can and will be read so I save any confidential correspondences for my standard email address.