Does it sound like i have Bipolar?

I just want to say first that i have an appointment with a therapist on Thursday so i know it is important to seek professional help with this which i am... I just wanted to throw my information out to you who are experienced with this and maybe help me decipher if it may be something i'm suffering from.

I have hypothyroidism due to hashimotos diagnosed 3 years ago and under treatment with medication for that. Since having my baby in July my levels have been out of whack and i'm just starting to get them under control again. I've had a lot of different symptoms due to Postpartum AND the hypothyroid but aside from that, some of the bipolar symptoms i've had in the past before i was even diagnosed with hypothyroid and prior to having my baby.

I'm talking years and years worth of rollercoaster rides of manic/depressive states, multiple relationships/marriages, multiple jobs, move around alot in an attempt to "start over" and maybe find happiness. I love my husband one minute and hate him the next and i don't mean it as in "i'm mad at him for something" i mean i literally wake up one morning and am euphoric and love him to death and shower him with affection and the next day i can't stand to be around him, sometimes this happens in the same day, i don't "feel" any emotion for him and am completely apathetic about life and then i love him and fell "high" like euphoric. This has caused a pattern of leaving him one day "involve myself in reckless behavior" including spending a lot of money in our bank account on hotels or renting an apartment and buying myself new furniture "to start my life without him" and then come back to him all loving and dedicated within a week, only to start over and leave and come back.. This has happened about 6 or 7 times in the last 2 years and it is completely insane.. This pattern i now see has been in my life for a really long time and only since i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism has it gotten worse.. I've noticed that other symptoms that i've experienced most of my life have also intensified with the diagnosis of hypothyroid, not that it caused it but it definitely exaccerbates my symptoms of illnesses when my thyroid levels are unstable.

Does it sound like i may have bipolar? Oh and my sister was diagnosed with bipolar a few years ago so it is in my family..

Thanks in advance for you help and advice...

[Xila31]

Hmmm... it is possible from your behavior pattern, but do you do this with other people as well? Another thing to consider is it could be boarderline personality disorder, which behaves a lot like bipolar and is primarily focused on trouble in relationships. As you say, love them one minute leave them the next. For example, one day you would die for them so as not to lose their love and the next day you push them away.

I have both, as they tend to be co-morbid. I also have other issues concerning issolationism and anxiety. But bipolar is chemical and neurological and BPD is not. Either way it sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist. A therapist is a good first step, but he/she will be unable to diagnose you with anything.

[dpleiman]

Thanks for your response.. I've heard of BPD before too, I guess i dismissed that one because i don't self mutilate and also, i have the episodes of mania where i feel "high" like i'm bouncing off the walls, talking really fast, hyperactive, hot flashes, i feel like i'm reeling on energetic mode, euphoric like i'm on top of the world and can do anything and it feels GREAT, but then it leaves me completely exhausted... Can people with BPD do that?

I also suffer from anxiety and panic alot... so many things going on with me eeekk..

[dpleiman]

oh and yes i do this with other people.. my friends and family.. i love them one minute and can't stand them the next and i can't control my feelings of love/hate, when i'm in love mode i can't see the hate and when i'm in hate mode i can't see the love.. it's so exhausting and has caused so much instability and chaos in my life..

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes I've seen that happen in people I know with bpd. People is treated with both medication and dbt therapy. There is a seperate forum for that. As well thyroid hormones have in experimental use been shown to be helpful for bipolar depression but they don't appear to treat mania so another medication would be needed:
http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/HighDose.htm

[Xila31]

Well, with bipolar you can have self-harm as well, and suicidal ideation. Those are two major risks for people with bipolar.

Things you should start considering when you talk to your therapist is if you were abandoned, neglected or abused as a child. According to my psychologist, boarderline personality disorder is a response a child has when they do not feel they can receive what they need from the people that should be taking care of them (parents, guardians, etc.) So, they respond by closing off. When we reach adulthood this has become a pattern and we struggle socially and in relationships. We try to do anything to get that love and care we so desperately need one minute, but then we don't know what to do with it or are so afraid of being hurt,  we push it away.

I have seen this pattern in my whole life. I am very aloof and distant in all of my relationships in that I am terrified I'm going to lose them. Also, I don't know how to get really close. I start to get close, then I pull away, get close, pull away. I don't want to lose the people around me but I'm also scared of them. It is very confusing and, as you say, exhausting.

Plus with my bipolar I have really poor judgement. (yay) Also, people with bipolar tend to see hostility where there is none. This only exaserbates everything. I think someone is turning against me and trying to hurt me, so I lash out or freak out and I'm left standing in this big mess. I don't go off and rent appartments or anything, but I've had my share of almost losing the people most important to me several times.

Anyway, these are things to bring up to your therapist and doctor.  

[dpleiman]

Thanks for the help.. I'll definitely consider ruling out both BPD and Bipolar.. Of course i would LOVE to blame it on my thyroid levels being off "everything else seems to be related to that" haha.. but i know i had this way before my thyroid diagnosis came along.


Oh and the information at this link http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/HighDose.htm

Being a thyroid sufferer with extensive experience on T4 meds, I can answer alot of the "theory" questions on that page. I definitely wouldn't benefit with this method because i'm already on T4 meds AND when i have too much T4 meds I have a horrible reaction and eventually if not corrected could cause me to have "thyroid storm" which can be fatal.. I don't know how T4 meds work in otherwise "normal" thyroid level patients, but for me or anyone else i've ever met that already have thyroid problems, this is definitely not an option..

[ILADVOCATE]

I apologize. Like anyone here I can't make any medical reccomendations. I did not state that you did not have bpd or bipolar. I just knew that Thyroxin was in experimental usage as a mood stabilizer for bipolar depression. When a medication is in experimental usage even if its FDA approved that means it was approved for one use (thyroid) and might not be for another (bipolar depression). Thanks for calling to my attention that that link was clinically inaccurate. Since we had it linked up officially I did not know.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Well from my knowledge bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder jump out at me from the description of your behavior but I'm not a doctor so I can't say it is or isn't one thing or another.  Do you start to hate him for no apparent reason or because of something like you think he's rejecting or abandoning you when he's not?  Someone I know has hypothyroidism and will do things like you do with your husband although in a different form with a different group of people.  She doesn't have either of those disorders that I know of but she could also be undiagnosed or just kept it to herself.  I also have to say you look a little bit like one of the receptionists at the PACT office I go to.

[Omusicgame]

Well, i think categorizing is stupid until its really proven true, so im not going to categorize you.  But it seems you do have mood swings.  Have you done alot of drugs or alcohol in the past?  That always leads to crazy behavior.  But I'd say just keep doing what youre doing, cherish the moments you feel yourself, and feel good.  Cherish them like you've never cherished before.  Dont take advantage.  Im serious.  You'll realize that it will always get good again.  No matter what.  You will feel good again, and you'll see that the crazy things you think about, are just an illusion.  Cherish the good times.

[dpleiman]

I definitely have some mood swings, but i also just had a baby and my thyroid levels are way out of whack "which can also cause mood swings"

I just remember before having the baby and when my thyroid levels were in normal range, i still had the swings and still had the back and forth emotions, they are just 100 times worse right now.

Maybe once i get my thyroid levels in range and get beyond the postpartum stage i'll re-evaluate..

I have not done drugs in the past and only social drinking once in awhile.