Dual Diagnosis

I don't know which came first-the bipolar, anxiety and depression, or the substance abuse. I know I did not have a drug/alcohol problem until I was in my late 20's. But I have always been depressed and made some very stupid impulsive financial decisions before substances every became a problem. That led to substance to cope with the consequences. I have a B.A. in journalism and have worked at television stations and newspapers. But now, I am unable to work. The disease totally took over. I rarely take my Bipolar meds because they don't seem to do anything. I now take Adderall (adderrall) and Klonopin which I am addicted to and use that to battle depression. Ha. It doesn't even work anymore most times. Or it makes me manic. It pisses me off sometimes. I wanna feel that high again. But within days of taking it, my tolerance prevents it. Then when  run out it's weeks of suicidal depression and anxiety. It's gonna happen again this month. And every month it gets worse. I might just off myself this time around. :(

[ILADVOCATE]

I would think you need to go to a rehabilitation clinic. If you are addicted to Adderall (adderrall) and Klonopin physical withdrawal is a slow process that may require hospitalization. Both of those are legitimate medications but some people can become addicted to then who have that genetic tendency and they are not the right medication for everyone. However, if there is a substance abuse issue that might be one reason why the mood stabilizer you are prescribed isn't working and they have to be taken every day to work. There are a wide variety of options for mood stabilizers and thankfully none of them have the potential for addiction. It would be good to go to a dual recovery group but if your psychiatrist has determined you are addicted to those two medications they might want you to go to a clinic to follow up titrating you off them for your safety. You may have been wrongly diagnosed when you were prescribed them. It is unpleasent but its a matter of two forms of recovery and it can be accomplished. I have close relatives who have done it.

[AdderallAddict]

Yeah, I highly doubt I am ADD, and even if I am I can't take anything for it because it makes me euphoric.

[rogelio63]

Please get some help!  I don't know you but I'm concerned about you.  Listen to ILADVOCATE, he's a smart guy.  If you have to go to rehab, go to rehab.  There is help for you.  Please be careful.  You have friends on here.

[LetaB]

  I was diagnosed ADD  and depression years before being diagnosed as BP. I too take Adderall (adderrall) most days (when I feel well enough to get out of bed) and it gives me motivation - if that's mania, well, I need it. Unfortunately when it wears off I sink back into the pit of despair. I've tried a whole host of BP medication with very little good results. Originally when I was diagnosed with BP I was prescribed a high dose of Effexor which my regular P doc and I thought was strange but now I want to try it again because it seemed like the only thing that worked for me. Good luck. I think you know what you need to do and just have to make that phone call. Let us know how you do.

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes its complex when a person needs two different forms of treatment and one can undermine the effectiveness of another. I was misdiagnosed as having ocd originally and prescribed Anafranil (the first known SSRI, what was available at the time) and because I have the bipolar aspect of schizoaffective disorder it made me dangerously manic. The problem is it worked on some obsessive symptoms that were otherwise hard to control. But I could never take a medication in that class although at times my psychopharmocologist did agree that if one were available that didn't worsen mania I would have done better. Some of the medications for my physical disability can cause psychosis. Fortunately the one I am on now appears to work as a mood stabilizer. Its not surprising as many anti-convulsants do so and my psychopharmocologist did note that himself. If I appeared to be doing some "soul searching" its because although the standard psychosis I experienced has been in relative mitigation I did experience some inflated judgment and grandiosity and its nice to see that toned down. One can see how people in society let the "power go to their head" and truthfully I don't want that feeling again. I just want to help people and feel like a person myself, the second of which I do seem to be approaching again and I feel better for it. I cannot define my recovery through symptomatizing others, family included. I have to help them recover if I do speak about it or I am selling out. Somewhat different from the original post but as a lot of what I am on is brand new to science didn't feel it appropriate to start a thread. Nice to have a week where 3 A.M. was not the standard bedtime and that is a big start..

[opus88]

never give up on yourself add!...you do need proper rehab and a proper dx........with a dual dx first of all you need to get off the substance and stay off or nothing will work for you!
Its a consious decision you have to make..".do I really want to beat this and feel better again or continue to spiral down?"
my son also had a dual dx...he was successfull in beating the substance abuse but it took 3 rehab tries and many many crashes before he choose life for himself and a father for his son....now his only battle is BP, but for the first time he will be giving these medications a chance to do what they are supposed to do without sabatoging himself.
good luck to you too...again never give up..fight for yourself