I used to use them when I was 19-20. I have not since then. It's just hard to not want them when I do go through those stages.
I use to use drugs all the time to feel "normal" or get me out of depression. I often wonder if that is what caused my BP1 in the first place. Let me just say that they are no good for you and can most definitely cause your symptoms to become worse in the long run; or right away for that matter. That's just my personal experience.
Your moods sound like mine. I feel like a tornado most of the time as well...but I've never heard of ultradian bp. I was diagnosed with bpll, but I think I'll go look that up anyway.
I'm trying very hard not to play on both sides. Mostly I stay away from drugs/alcohol because I know exactly how bad they are for my mental state. I just wanted to know I wasn't the only one who struggled with having to stay away from them. That's all. I go into mixed states a lot, and my mood swings are up and down constantly all day long. I haven't been on meds for very long, so I'm hoping that will even out eventually, once they have been in my system long enough, or once I'm on the correct dose.
I think there are many that do turn to alcohol or drugs when in the depressed phrase of BP...its a temporary fix trying desperately to make yourself feel better....it normal isn't it to want to try anything to get out of you're own personal hell.
And then life becomes even more of a rollercoaster ride...the AP & MS are trying to level you out but the alcohol and drugs are driving you up than crashing you down even harder than you were to begin with..
I think you really need to decide which side of the fence ur going to stay on and get a change or increase in you're BP meds. you cannot play on both sides and expect to feel good.
take care
I have ultradian bp which means I'm at the mercy of my moods most of the time.I'm on Seroquel 50mg at breakfast and 250mg at night. Some days I would say it helps take the edge off my moods and I feel like I can cope but most days I'm a tornado.
I've never been on seroquel, but I've been considering it because I've heard good things about it. Im BPll and I'm in mixed states quite a bit...drives me nuts. I'll talk to my pdoc next time I talk to him. Although, I just got put on Abilify, so I'm not sure if that's something that will eventually work well or not. But thanks for the input:)
Since i have been diagnosed with BP 3 years ago, mixed states occured to me 4-5 times at least (i am BP1), in all of them seroquel 50mg (quetiapine) extinguished it very efficiently and right away.
sometimes mixed states occur from abuse of antidepressants instead of using some mood stabilizers to control your depression/mania.
I found seroquel best in this matter