Extremem Anger

[chulavista2]

Hi,
I have been married to my husband for 30 years now, and I beleive he is bipolar. He is more on the mania side if anything.I can not get him to physchiatrist because they won't take our insurance or are very expensive. The problem is that he is getting more and more angry all of the time, especially since his mother died nearly a year ago. He compres me to his mother ALL of the time.
He is getting really scary. he says things like why don't you just die and get it over with/ To his credit most times he will tell me leave when he gets like this. I'm worried he will accidently do something really bad. He sometimes has taken to hitting me on the back of the head or pinching my arm. This usually happens when he looses control of his emotions, and we are in the car. I know he sick, and I want to find someone to help him. When I married him it was in sickness and health, but if leaving would make him happy then I'm all for it.
This has taken quite a toll on me all well. I have lost 80 ponds and I'm a nerous wreck all of the time. He calls me a nervous twit.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[chulavista2]

It is comming to a head, he is very angry at something stupid, he told me that there is no love here. He dropped me off at the office and is now back at home. All I can do is cry, can't seem to get my emotions under control. I'm trying to hang in here until my boss comes on the 19th. I want to try to save my job if I can.If gets too much worse I will just walk out the door and walk away.
I do know that I'm a Great person and that this is his problem. I also know that i can not live like this any longer and I'm sure he can't either.

[darlenedaisy]

hi, i feel concerned. pinching or slapping the back of your head is abuse, so is calling you a twit.
My suggestion is to leave as i fear that it will escalate, and the longer this goes on, the lower your self esteem and self worth will drop.
only you can make the choice. do you want to live with your present situation for the rest of your time your life, or do you want change ? it is possible to head in a new direction, scary but possible.  my heart goes out to you.
joining a womans group of any kind would be good, to find outside support.
i wish you all the best

[lindahand]

You are being abused and God would never want or expect you to stay in that type of relationship. I just don't believe that a God of love would expect that. He broke the contract when he started to hit you. If you want to stay because you still love him you need to start a safe plan. You need to know where battered women's shelters are if you need to flee your home.

If you believe he is mentally ill than he needs to go to a psychiatrist.The death of his mother would be something that could trigger a manic episode. There are free mental health clinics if you can't afford it and there are programs where you can get your meds for free if you are below a certain income level.

This behavior will not stop without intervention of some sort. You are worth so much that being poor and on food stamps is better than staying with someone who hurts you.

[chulavista2]

Thnak you for the reply. This is what I know has to happen, the problem is that he is around all of the time.If he knew I was leaving there would be really ugly. He has said he would ruin our job (my job actually) we are property managers. He will just put me in the car, or just not let me in and keep everything. Not much in the bank as he keeps it in as he keep the money in a safe somewhere. It is just really scary to know what to do.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Its good to think of him and he may very well need help but at this point in time since he is being abusive the best thing to do is let him know from a distance that he needs to follow up and see what happens from there. If what is happening to him is psychiatric and he can be helped by a psychiatrist and therapist and they can see a way for him to manage this type of behavior successfully that would be different. Relationship counseling can be helpful as well but when someone is being abusive to this nature you have to keep yourself in mind as well. As regards health insurance coverage you could call NAMI or mental health referral centers to find a list of psychiatrists in your area that accept the insurance coverage you have. Also if there are no other options there are clinics that have a sliding scale fee.