Have a couple of question...am seeing my pdoc soon

[CrzyBeautiful1]

Ok I am about 99.9% certain I am bipolar (just haven't gotten the "official" dx). I'm am going to my next appnt. soon and still have a couple of points I'm confused about.

First, I know there are different types of bipolar, so what type would u label someone who rapid cycles? Whats the exact name for that bipolar type?  I read about bipolar ppl going thru cycles for months at a time and thats what has always thrown me off and caused me to deny the bipolar in the past, because I don't go throught cycles for months at a time...not that I'm aware of. I go through cycles by the day just about. Sometime a I go from happy, to irate to sad all in one day, and even sometimes i repeat the cycle in the same day. And sometimes I am happy for a couple of days. But I mostly cycle on a daily basis. And on top of that, I will go through a phase of depression for a period that almost seems to overlap the mixed feeling I get also. The only weak attempt I have to explain this is, I cycle through moods several times daily or weekly, as well as period of depression that overlap them like a blanket. Like my value of life may overall generally be either good or in a depressed state (which is like the big picture) but I'm going thru all my mood swings all the time at the same time.  What kind of bipolar type is that?

And lastly, I know that the really happy and elated phases are called "manic" or "hypomanic", but when I'm freaking out and irate and breathing fire and acting irrational because I'm so angry, is that also part of the "manic/hypomanic" phase? When I'm trying to describe me temper flares I get all the time at the drop of a hat, I don't if I'm suppose to call those my manic/hypomanic phases or not. Like I said, I know the extremely happy phases are my hypomanic phases.

Oh, and one more question I just thought of. In my situation, my hypomanic or "happy" phases aren't too exaggerated, I don't think. I think I'm just like any normal person when I'm happy. I don't overdo it (maybe on occasion), but when I'm in my rage phases, I go so above and beyond, that I do and say things that I can't control. They are VERY extreme. I have said and done things that make ME cringe when I think about them later. And I have been know to not be able to recall a lot of things I said or did while I was out of the phase. Like if someone asked me if I remember that certain time I was fighting with them and I said whatever or did whatever...I'll have no idea what they're talking about. I've argued with my hubby about stuff he was "accusing" me of doing or saying because I never remember it.  What bipolar type is that usually considered if ur rage phases are too extreme, but ur "happy" phases aren't too extreme?  

Now I know this is all stuff a pdoc has to answer, but I'm wanting YOUR opinions and thoughts on these questions. You guys have more experience with this stuff and know more about it than me so I'm asking you to get a better understanding. (And besides, we all know that even we can explain things better than a pdoc who doesn't personally suffer from what we do). We obsess over this particular mental illness so we eventually learn every little thing about it.  

[CrzyBeautiful1]

wow I really have no idea what has gotten into me lately with all of my typos. I make mistakes every once in a while but DANG, I see several in EVERYTHING I have been posting lately. Don't know...I've been in a dazed kinda state lately due to all my currents stress.

[ILADVOCATE]

There are a wide variety of types of bipolar. Rapid cycling is a clinical term for when a person switches from mania to depression at an extreme rate instead of each lasting for months. As for the difference between mania and hypomania it depends on the intensity. There are no exact gradation scales. Also what you described could be a mixed state. It sounds strange to be manic and depressed at the same time but an agitated mixed state is when a person is speeded up like they are manic but has a depressed mood and can seem like rage or being angry at the world. Its very common. But the best thing to do is look at some of the webpages linked up such as "Depression Central" (for all mood disorders) and then speak to your psychiatrist about it. There's no reason as long as you remain in treatment that you can't ask exactly what's going on and what they are noting. Its good to have an understanding of it and if asked in a judicious manner psychiatrists generally don't mind explaining it from what I've found.

[Xila31]

You sound like you are more like me. Bipolar 1 is the type where people have mania that lasts for month(s). Rapid cycling is either Bipolar 2 or cyclicmania (or something like that.) I have read conflicting information on this. Some people say you cannot be Bipolar 2 if you have rapid cycling. But other information says people with Bipolar 2 do have rapid cycling. So that is a good question for your doctor, maybe no one agrees and who knows. Either way, both of those have hypomania instead of full blown mania, which is completely me. I have daily cycling but I will cycle up to hypomania then back down, then back up, then back down for between 1-10 days at a time depending on the triggers and issues in my current life. The cycling usually last for a month or so. Or, I have a ton of mixed state where I am cycling in between hypomania and more of a depression all day for a while.

The depressive episodes, however, can last from 2 weeks to several months. This is why Bipolar 2 people can get misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder instead because 1) manic state is not sever, 2) it is easier to catch us depressed than hypomanic.

Now, I do not get "happy elated" hypomania. I get the growly irritable hypomania. This is what causes so many relationship issues. I wish I got the happy kinds, but I don't. I do have high energy hypomania vs. not as high energy. I get stressed and fatigued really easily. I'm thinking part of this is because I am not in the best shape. The other part I think is because I also have high anxiety. I don't have panic attacks often but I am always nervous and worried all the time. So no matter how I feel I always feel terrible and never at peace.

So, due to my anxiety, I don't think I get a lot of "normal" days, but when I do they don't last.

Anyway, that's my experiance.

[CrzyBeautiful1]

Thank u for the helpful info. I definaitely have a lot of great questions to take to my doc now.

Like u xila, I don't normally get the happy elated hypomanias. I do on occasion, but I mostly have the very irritable, hate the world kind. I know when I AM happy, I'm realy happy. But I think that mostly has to do with not ever feeling that way, so when I do get in a happy mood, I take it and run! I don't ever want t to end! It's like a kid who savers every minute of an ice cream cone when they're not used to getting one. LOL.

I also tire very easily. But I also have hypothyroidism so they may contribute to me being fatigue a lot. I am a very high strung person when it comes to anxiety. I'm on full mode, full time. Even when happy, I'm still worrying about something and having anxiety.

I justwent through one of my full blown manic episodes where I went completely inraged yesterday, and I don't even remember what t was about. I cried hysterically and called my mom to talk. She got really worried and said I wasn't talking logically. I was talking about hurting myself too. She got scared and called my hubby and told him to watch me. So many thoughts ranthrough my head and I was so distraught.  Eventually I calmed down while on the phone and was so exhausted. It took everything out of me. I fell asleep while holding the phone, and woke up 4 hrs later completely fine. I was a little disoriented, but after I fully woke up I was in a good mood. I got so scared during the breakdown though...thinking of what it would be like for my hubby to find me dead. The thought of it gave me a sense of pleasure...so freaky! Afterward, therest of my night went great.

I really need to stop being lazy and keep a journal on paper or something. When I get in those really crazy moods I just want to write everything that runs through my head as fast as I can because later on I'm trying to recall the things I thought about, but can't ever remember them. It's like when I'm in that mood there a things that make sense but in a different way and I'd like to know the other point of view I have when I'm that way. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I appreciate ur explanations. It gave me more topics to research on! :)

[CrzyBeautiful1]

And thank u so much for telling me about the agitated mixed state. That's exactly what I go through. Didn't know exactly what to call but now that I know I can research easier.

[adel_ezz]

Hi

I sent you a paragraph about what i thought is your case. perhaps you didn't notice it. I think you are bipolar no doubt about that now from what you wrote above. BP1 or 2 is not the issue because patients think 1 is worse than 2. The important thing is how severe are the symptoms. So you may have a 2 worse than 1. Concerning whether you are 2 or 1 depends on the mania though as somebody said 1 cycle more rapidly, but i assume that is because of the celexa you are taking. They worsen the mania, bring rapid cycling and mixed states altogether.

It just occured to me (silly question) how come you are not dx bipolar but you are involved with this forum. Usually a person goes to consult a pdoc because he feels something weird is happening and upon knowing he is BP he starts to read about, but you did the opposite exactly.

i think your case is mild, it can be cyclothemia due to your celexa so as i said a 25mg seroquel or 1mg risperidone will fix everything

[adel_ezz]

incidentally BP1 pts get psychosis more often, so if you don't have it i.e. never or in general then you are 2, but in 2 there are also long periods of depression or more precisely you can say the depression is the issue not the mania. Also 2 get hypomania only not a full blown mania, but as IL said no gradation scale to measure that. Also in 1 sometimes it statrs as happy then turn after a while with anger (mixed states).

remember there is 1,2,3 (cyclothemia), 4 etc.. but also not otherwise specified it's ca;llled NOS, so it's individual mainly