Help understanding the obvious

This is my first time here. I don't know if this us the right place but here goes... I'm 44 white guy bipolar/add. I also love cup cakes. I had a loo loo of an episode in 1998 and several small ones prior. I didn't know what any of it was at the time. The episodes left my brain kind of mushy and Swiss cheese like. A lot of my memories vanished but I only ever know that when someone's trying to get me to remember something. I haven't been able to do much of anything since I lost it. I've just been working on keeping myself alive and trying to fund the right medication cocktail. If I got paid for all of the scripts I've tried...ok so I finally found a combo that works (lithium, limictal, methylphenidate, and atenolol)... Here's where I should be jumping for joy. Don't worry I kind of am but I'm also overwhelmed. I'm dumbfounded...! I get my head out of the crap cloud of my illness just to have it swallowed up by the aftermath of things like defaulted loans, collections, foreclosure, and the like. There are ways to "fix" those things so all's not lost. I have a unique way of dealing with the world which basically kept me from staying at a job for longer than 6-8months. My wife took care of me. Our finances haven't been the greatest but I couldn't do anything about it. Now that my mind is mostly back and I can do something about it...yikes!!! I don't know how the job market has been like but it seems like a no win situation. I have an enormous gap in my work history. The jobs I worked prior were all under a year. I'm over the prime hiring age and my skills... haven't been. Ok so those things could be fixed sort of, basically (which I'm still researching). So there's that. The thing right now that has me so perplexed is, I don't have any friends nor do I know how to make any. I've had my mind on getting out of my crap cloud for so long that that's all I know now. I have gone to support groups but I wasn't successful with the friend thing there. I'm not sure that's the best place to "make" a friendship happen. I'm very lonely even as I'm sitting here typing this near my wife. I have expected her to be my everything and that's not fair to either of us. Anybody have any suggestions?

[Xila31]

Hi.

Well, I hear you about the job thing. Before my current job the longest I was at a job was 6 months. I did school okay, but jobs I was terrible at them and I could never figure out why I couldn't hold a job. Now I realize it is due to a lot of stuff I deal with bipolar. Also I know that even though I have been at this job for 2 years, I still struggle. Anyway, I fixed my problem of no one hirring me by going to school. I went to a trade school for my specific job, which is being a medical receptionist. It took about 5 months, and I've had steady work since I finished. So that's good.

As for the friends thing, it is a lot like finding love. It happens without you realizing it. I had decided I would never have another friend until I died just because of what the horrible things my friends did to me. I had my husband and my kids and family and they could be my friends. But, without even realizing it, I now have a co-worker who is a very close friend and I'm so happy I met her. It was totally coincidance. We have the same financial situation, we have small children of the same age, and we've been through some similar things and also different things. I would have never guessed I would make a friend.

My advice is just be friendly. Be yourself. If you're out in the world you'll make a friend sooner or later. That's what I think.