How do I help

[PromisedLand]

I'm new to this forum, father to a 19 year old daughter who has been diagnosed as bi polar and  37 year old son also diagnosed.  She is convinced she can help him..I'll not go into all the details on that one.  I recently lost my 26 year old son who was also bipolar.

So far I'm familiar with the ups and downs and have tried to get her into psychiatrists but all she sees is "take these pills and see me again in a month..my 26 year old son was told "our earliest appt is in 1 month" after an incident where he clearly broke down.

How can I help my daughter who lives local..37 year old does not, thankfully.  She refuses meds, has not found a counselor she likes, and how can I as a parent find more information about bi polar disorder (?)..

How can we talk to our daughter?  We've learned to leave her alone when she asked to be left alone, and at times she talks to us, at times she is downright angry and very vocal about her anger.  She was sexually abused by her natural father.

My former wife and I have decided that we are going to try to start a foundation to help kids but that's a long way off...

I'd appreciate any understanding anyone can give me

Bless you all for any help you can provide.


Jim

[PromisedLand]

Thanks to both of you and I will refer back, I'm sure with more questions...my daughter's stepbrother has told me to stay out of his life (he's my stepson from another relationship) and after 30 something years of trying to help him I'm going to do just that an concentrate on my daughter who as opposed to my son, has a conscience whereas my son is psycopathic centered on him and that's it.  I'll not go into all the detail...

Thank you for the comment re: my son...I'm feeling a little better each day but I don't know that I'll ever get over it.


Jim

[jst4shanell]

NAMI is a pretty good place to start. It's the National Alliance For The Mentally Ill.  Each city usually has programs set up for friends and family.  My mom went with me to the support groups for quite a long time and she would sometimes just go alone.  She didn't even know what bipolar was.  She thought it was a name they gave people when they didn't know what was wrong with them.  It helped her tremendously.  She learned everything their was to know, including medications and local psychiatrists and financial issues that usually arise.  There area a lot of people at the support groups that are friends and family.  They also offer a 6 week course to take for parents.  I think it happens twice a year.

I know my psychiatrist only prescribes me medication.  Some do that and some listen to you too.  It all depends on whether they like the human emotion aspect or if they just prefer to focus on the biological part.  I wondered why it was that way and looked it up on a doctors only blog site.  Now that I know, I don't feel like my doctor is just trying to shove drugs in my mouth and send me out the door.  I also have a psychologist that I see.  Thats where I spill stuff and learn to deal with my disorder.  They actually work as a team and keep each other informed.  I see my psychologists more so if she spots something that's not right we immediately make med changes.  It's great she has at least found a counselor she likes.  Thats a huge step.  
My mom asked the same question about how she can talk to me in a support group.  Instead of someone else giving her feedback, they asked her to ask me directly.  I told her exactly what I needed from her.  I needed her to just listen.  Sometimes it still doesn't work though because I feel like i'm talking to someone who has no idea what i'm going through in my mind.  I still vent, she's my mom.  I have to.  For me, I find therapy works best.  They know what they are up against.

Like Monkeyc said, this is an excellent forum for support.  By far the best one I have found.  Sometimes at home, its the only thing keeping me sane.  Knowing other people are out there like me.  Maybe your daughter and son would like it?  Hope this helps.  Good luck.  I'm truly sorry to hear about your son.

[monkeyc]

HI Jim

I am at work right now but tonight when I get home (In AU) I will post some resources, links and book suggestions for you with regards to Bipolar in general and treatment options and also where you can get some help.

Youre not alone ok.  There's a good strong community here.