How to balance commitments and pleasure when you are bipolar (and drink prescribed pills)?

[more0then0a0virus]

Hi, I’m kind of new in taking pills and balancing my life, so I was wondering if someone could give me some useful advice.

First of all, I apologize for inaccurate grammar because English is not my maternal language. Everything, I know from English, is thanks to classes in high school, where I go now as an 18 years old teen.

So, where to begin? Well, before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder few months ago, my life has been quite a mess.  During long period of time my only comfort has been alcohol, and I got these cravings for it, family relationships were damaged, and it was pretty rough time in my life: passing out, black outs, arguing, stress, guilt, self-destruction, disappointment, and so on.

Finally, I feel much better now and I started a different kind of life: I communicate and hang out with people, I laugh, general relationships with people are getting better, and I enjoy. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult, but I’m working on my problems and making progress.

However, due to to much “living” in my personal life, my grades are worst then ever, and it’s my final year in high school so it would be nice if I could learn so I could go to college I like. My problem is I can’t force myself to study. It seems so irrelevant and I’m too lazy to even do a cheat chat, as I have usually done few past years.
Even though I think it’s too late to have an A on the end of semester, I would like not to ruin the rest of it.  

All in all, while I’m satisfied, I am ruining my future by grades, and when I’m depressed and obsessed with alcohol, I have great grades thanks to studying which comes as some kind of a runaway from reality and as a relief from depressive thoughts or manic hyperactivity.

My question is: how to be a happy and successful person at the same time? It’s so contradictory that it seems impossible.

[rogelio63]

Sometimes "success" is already there, you're just applying the wrong definition.  Sorry for the movie reference (I do it alot) but in the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" George Bailey helps alot of people, but doesn't deep down believe he's successful, so much so that he attempts to take his life.  An angel saves him and teaches him a different meaning of success.
I think sometimes we need to do that too.  Re-evaluate what we think success is, and not what we think everyone else defines it to be AND THEN judges us because of their own weird issues.  
Success for me= being their for my friends and family, leaving a legacy aside from my mental issues.  these things cannot be determined by anyone but me.  As for the pleasure, it seems to generate itself much of the time once I am content with my own definitions and comfortable in my own skin, and that too is a personal preference.
You do need support.  Even though I think so much of it is re-vamping your criteria, you need the support of accepting people while you explore the new possibilities your life holds.

[lindahand]

Happy and successful are too very different things. No one can be 'happy' all the time and I think a lot of problems come when we expect that as normal. Success though is achieving the goals you set out for yourself, and that is attainable.

First thing I would l look at is seeing if it is the meds. Can you do other things that give you pleasure? If you can its not the meds. If you can't then it may be time for a trip back to the psychiatrist to see if another med might work better.

Second thing I would do is try to get some counselling. Perhaps there is some issue that is keeping you from studying and some skills you can learn to help you along. One thing my therapist told me that really helped was "If you wait until you are motivated - nothing is every going to happen. You lead with your feet and your heart will follow" The other thing that might help is bribery. I can 'play on the computer' 'go out with friends' etc. AFTER I get my homework done.

It is tough not having that bipolar energy driving you on. I miss that sometimes myself. Learning to have normal emotions takes some time to come to grips with. Many things are harder than they used to be eventhough most things are much easier.

You are aware that you need help with this, so please talk to a teacher, guidance counsellor, ask your parent's to send you to a counsellor (an educational psychologist would be best if they have one where you live - it is a specialty though so there aren't many of them around). Because you need some support with this one. Don't try to do it all by yourself.