How to keep motivated?

I am not happy. I find little enjoyment in anything. I'm stressed. I just started two jobs and am looking for a place to live. Currently I am jumping between three places. I go back to my childhood home to get clothes and then move to a  friends for a few days so I can stay in the city where I work.I have no stable place of residence and am living out of my suitcase. I could stay in my childhood home a communite but my father is an alcoholic and staying there is stressful and depression in and of itself. The real issue is that I find I keep thinking about death and dying. I keep imagining myself slitting my aorta. I am worried I will honestly kill myself. I have attempted in the past and have been hospitalized many times. How do I stop this downward spiral? I'm taking my meds and I'm in counseling. I just feel horrible and can't stop crying. How do I keep myself moticated to keep going?

[bernie40]

Hi, you need to go back to your psych/doc asap, it sounds as if your medication isn't working as well as it could, probably due to the extra stressors in your life right now.  You are trying to cope with too many things at once and it is all feeling too much for you, which is completely understandable.  Can you get any help with your residency issue?

Make sure you ring your psych immediately though,

All the best

[shortcircuited]

You are depressed.  Do see your psychiatrist right away, and maybe he can adjust your medication to help pull you out of this.