Hypomania and obsessive schemes

[LockBox]

I have not been diagnosed, but I am obsessing about bipolar lol. For me I obsess about money making schemes and things I want. It gets really bad where the thoughts will keep going through my head so that when I try to sleep I can't stop visualizing what I want. I actually take pleasure in fantasizing about every detail.

But I can't prioritize how to make it happen and that is when I get locked up in my own mind and can't sort out anything.

I Also have problems with the concept of time. Where dates don't have any meaning. No wonder I can't hold a job for more than 3 years!

When I'm depressed I have no thoughts at all. I am like a dizzy zombie crying and not moving hoping to feel Good again.

I wish I could get treatment. You would think I could since I live in "the richest country in the world"

Whatever.

Sorry I started to post this somewhere else, but I want to know if you have felt like I do.

[looloo141]

Hi there, its a sorry state of affairs when you are wishing a bad thing to happen so you can get the help you deserve, and to feel believed..I really feel for you as I have been there,

Listening to some people on here makes me realise how lucky I am to get free healthcare as I live in the UK..as I understand it you guys get a better service but you have to pay for it! You shouldn't have to pay for certain types of treatment! It's wrong, people with Mental health problems or cancer patients or whatever should not have to worry about insurance on top of everything else!

The obsessing you talk about is common with Mental health problems in my opinion, but I agree with Bubulous that perhaps you are obsessing because you really need answers in order to move forward..from talking to other people I have found that some people really need a diagnosis, for others it seems to make them worse. For me I needed to know because I felt I needed my behaviours justifying and also just because I am obsessive too and I needed closure otherwise I would still be obsessing over what was wrong with me!

One thing I will warn you about is that when you do get a diagnosis if you are like me then you will just move your obsessions onto symptoms of the illness..if I am happy all of a sudden I tend to analyse everything and wonder if it's mania..you get so used to everything being about highs and lows that you forget what "normal" is..and don't get me started on mixed episodes lol.

The racing thoughts and schemes you talk about do make me think of hypomania, but it could be something else too.
I am bipolar, and I think I got it from my Dad and his family...my father used to get crazy ideas to make money and it always ended in disaster, but when he's well he is the most organised person with money that I know..
I get the racing thoughts and I give myself projects and I can't rest, but I think mens mania's can be slightly different to womens..it's soooo complicated..

I hope you can find the support you need but in the meantime this forum is a great place to talk to people who understand..

Hugs

[LockBox]

Thank you for commenting. I did go to a psy. Last year because I ws failing at my job among other things, and I realized that something was wrong. I did a ton of tests, but quit/lost my job before I could get any results. My insurance ran out, so now I have a $2500 bill and no answers:(

Sometimes I wish something bad would happen so I could get help and everyone would believe me.

[Bubulous]

I think that a diagnosis would benefit you greatly.  Not only for the meds you need but also for the understanding  you can get about yourself in treatment.  I read your earlier post and it is not likely that you have had mania but I am not a doctor.  The only thing I can tell you is if and only if you are bipolar 2 it can lead to bipolar 1.  I have read plenty of books on it.  Also for myself, I am bipolar 1 and although it seems nice to feel euphoric sometimes the manic deppression that follows can be overwhelming.  I am glad I got treatment when I did it has changed my life....Good Luck