Aa
I NEED HELP PLEASE......anyone have a clue?
I'm not even sure on how to begin......
I have a family member that is sweet, lovable, funny and helps out many people in so many different ways.
Then, she can get depressed easy (no one loves her/ appreciates her type of thing) followed by.... all of a sudden she is extremely aggressive, says very cruel things and is almost impossible to talk to due to all of the screaming and cussing and very hurtful things that comes out of her mouth for weeks at a time. She has been like this since I have been a child. (40+ years)
She believes that everyone has made her this way and that everyone is just out to use her and hurt her and that no one has ever loved her. She is sensitive and gets her feelings hurt very easy; but, shows it during her bouts of anger. (She's not one to show her sensitive side) This is really BAD for a couple weeks straight and then she is good for about 3-4 months again.
I was reading up on SchizoAffective-Disorder and it sounds alot like her only without the Schizophrenia part. Her father was the EXACT same way only after his boats he would apologize and feel bad. Her sister is really bad mentally and can't live alone any longer, other siblings have issues of needing to feel loved by others. She has a great memory and don't visualize anything. She does get very aggressive verbally though and on occasion has been physically aggressive when I was younger. I remember telling her that I loved her afterward and she would either get worse or cry.
I can't seem to approach her on the subject at all. I tried to once and she said there is nothing wrong with her and in her words said: "it's everyone else in the world trying to make me think I'm crazy!!.....I'm the only normal one!!!....There is nothing wrong with me, it's everyone else making me that way....I am just fine!!!" I told her that maybe if she just talked to someone or asked her doctor that maybe he could help as when she was stressed. Sigh.......I don't know how to help her or what's wrong.
I thought about calling her doctor; but, he wouldn't be able to talk to me about her and would probably tell her I spoke to him. She can be insane with family members; yet, go to church or the doctors, or whatever and shut it off so everyone just sees the side she wants them to see. This also confuses me.
Anyone have a clue on what this could be? I truly do LOVE & WORRY about her. PLEASE ANYONE have a clue on how to help her or what this could be?????? I'm worried for her and her marriage at this point. Sigh.
I have a family member that is sweet, lovable, funny and helps out many people in so many different ways.
Then, she can get depressed easy (no one loves her/ appreciates her type of thing) followed by.... all of a sudden she is extremely aggressive, says very cruel things and is almost impossible to talk to due to all of the screaming and cussing and very hurtful things that comes out of her mouth for weeks at a time. She has been like this since I have been a child. (40+ years)
She believes that everyone has made her this way and that everyone is just out to use her and hurt her and that no one has ever loved her. She is sensitive and gets her feelings hurt very easy; but, shows it during her bouts of anger. (She's not one to show her sensitive side) This is really BAD for a couple weeks straight and then she is good for about 3-4 months again.
I was reading up on SchizoAffective-Disorder and it sounds alot like her only without the Schizophrenia part. Her father was the EXACT same way only after his boats he would apologize and feel bad. Her sister is really bad mentally and can't live alone any longer, other siblings have issues of needing to feel loved by others. She has a great memory and don't visualize anything. She does get very aggressive verbally though and on occasion has been physically aggressive when I was younger. I remember telling her that I loved her afterward and she would either get worse or cry.
I can't seem to approach her on the subject at all. I tried to once and she said there is nothing wrong with her and in her words said: "it's everyone else in the world trying to make me think I'm crazy!!.....I'm the only normal one!!!....There is nothing wrong with me, it's everyone else making me that way....I am just fine!!!" I told her that maybe if she just talked to someone or asked her doctor that maybe he could help as when she was stressed. Sigh.......I don't know how to help her or what's wrong.
I thought about calling her doctor; but, he wouldn't be able to talk to me about her and would probably tell her I spoke to him. She can be insane with family members; yet, go to church or the doctors, or whatever and shut it off so everyone just sees the side she wants them to see. This also confuses me.
Anyone have a clue on what this could be? I truly do LOVE & WORRY about her. PLEASE ANYONE have a clue on how to help her or what this could be?????? I'm worried for her and her marriage at this point. Sigh.
Best Answer
That's an essential difference as schizoaffective disorder has psychosis which shows a complete lack of reality testing whereas in bipolar a person can have a disruption of the understanding of other people's emotions and reactions. There are also a variety of types of bipolar some with depression more than mania and many other criteria. Episodes of extreme anger can sometimes be part of it. Shutting off people from contact can occur during episodes of depression. Manipulative behavior may or may not be but that can occur more often in other conditions such as borderline personality disorder. Regardless all of this is treatable but only a psychiatrist could provide a diagnosis but it would be essential for her to seek help. Nami friends and family support groups are good for family members who have these concerns and could provide some ideas. The essential way to approach her would be to encourage her to seek help in a supportive manner because it will help her recovery.
Sounds like my Mom except for the fact that mine don't work. She does alot of things outside the home though and everyone thinks she is just the greatest sweetest person they ever met. At her home or around family or relitives it's a total different story at times. It's like you can look at her and just see it in her eyes.
Sigh. They are like severe tantrums of yelling, throwing things or beating on you if your the one that's closest to her emotionally. My health is not good enough to be a whipping boy anymore though and I can't take all the screeming. She lives ~ a hour away from me so most of the time we talk on the phone. She is calling my step fathers job and if he is in a conferance she will make up lies....example my kid sister was in a auto wreck and he needs to call or come home...etc. She done the same thing to my father years ago and it cost him a great job because he would get 10-20 phone calls a day like this. She says none of her kids (3) care for her because they won't stick up for her. I can't stand behind her when she is wrong. In her mind though it's everyone else and "nothing" is ever her fault. She refuses help because she says it's everyone else.
I checked into the Nami friends and family support groups online; but, I'm leery of going because I have a cousin that works in the mental health field (that shouldn't) that if she found out any information on her she would tell everyone in the relitives in which would hurt my Mom worse. I was going to report her years ago because she blabbed about my Moms sister once when she found her file. People like her make me sick. My Grandmother begged me not to so I didn't.
Anyhow, thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if anything yet. She disowned me yesterday as a daughter because I had my step father down for hunting season. I think I'll lay low for a while with her. ???? It really does stink and makes me sad that she is so very misserable inside. With the holidays it just seems that much worse. As the old saying goes though....you can lead a horse to water; but, you can't make it drink. :-/
Sigh. They are like severe tantrums of yelling, throwing things or beating on you if your the one that's closest to her emotionally. My health is not good enough to be a whipping boy anymore though and I can't take all the screeming. She lives ~ a hour away from me so most of the time we talk on the phone. She is calling my step fathers job and if he is in a conferance she will make up lies....example my kid sister was in a auto wreck and he needs to call or come home...etc. She done the same thing to my father years ago and it cost him a great job because he would get 10-20 phone calls a day like this. She says none of her kids (3) care for her because they won't stick up for her. I can't stand behind her when she is wrong. In her mind though it's everyone else and "nothing" is ever her fault. She refuses help because she says it's everyone else.
I checked into the Nami friends and family support groups online; but, I'm leery of going because I have a cousin that works in the mental health field (that shouldn't) that if she found out any information on her she would tell everyone in the relitives in which would hurt my Mom worse. I was going to report her years ago because she blabbed about my Moms sister once when she found her file. People like her make me sick. My Grandmother begged me not to so I didn't.
Anyhow, thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if anything yet. She disowned me yesterday as a daughter because I had my step father down for hunting season. I think I'll lay low for a while with her. ???? It really does stink and makes me sad that she is so very misserable inside. With the holidays it just seems that much worse. As the old saying goes though....you can lead a horse to water; but, you can't make it drink. :-/
I know for my mother, the anger is part of her clinical depression. When she gets depressed, she flips the heck out sometimes. She also has an anxiety disorder, and I have no idea if that plays a part in it... She is not bipolar, but sometimes I wonder if she may have borderline personality disorder as well.
She has been known to throw what I would call 'tantrums' at work, beyond what any other employer would continue to deal with (she's lucky!). She would also cry and throw stuff at me when I was living with her because things were all my fault (even stupid things that were completely irrelevant).
I will say that she's been on Zoloft for a few years now, and her angry outbursts are WAY better now. She used to be so explosive and unpredictable... now it's definite triggers, but she still overreacts, if that makes sense.
Good luck. It *****. I love my mom more than anything, and I'm so glad she got some help... it has made a world of difference for our relationship.
She has been known to throw what I would call 'tantrums' at work, beyond what any other employer would continue to deal with (she's lucky!). She would also cry and throw stuff at me when I was living with her because things were all my fault (even stupid things that were completely irrelevant).
I will say that she's been on Zoloft for a few years now, and her angry outbursts are WAY better now. She used to be so explosive and unpredictable... now it's definite triggers, but she still overreacts, if that makes sense.
Good luck. It *****. I love my mom more than anything, and I'm so glad she got some help... it has made a world of difference for our relationship.
The problem is she don't see any thing at all as her fault!!!! She thinks she completely normal and "everyone else is wrong for anything and everything". I just got a email from her tonight that she has dis-owned me as a daughter again. She usually wishes I was dead and never born during these episodes and that I've distroyed her life by being alive. Sigh. I'm used to this. I still truly LOVE her and that makes me even feel crazy at times. I CAN"T JUST GIVE UP! She don't feel as if she's EVER the one that needs help though. Sigh. I DON'T GET IT and I'M truly afraid of losing her! Sigh.
Luckily when I was 7 or 8 I knew how to dial 911. She told me I was going to be the cause of her death and ate/chugged a bottle of lorazapamsin front of me.....I was a scared kid and loved her and called 911 and my baby sitter to be with me during the night. They pumped her stomach and she lived. I thank God for that. I'm very worried about her though. SHE WILL NOT REALIZE IT'S A SITUATION WITH HER THOUGH........How can I help her??????
I will check out the site....Nami friends and family support groups......I'm just desperate for a answer BIG TIME. I'm afraid she is going to wreck a marriage with a good man and mainly that she will NEVER be happy in life! Sigh. I love her so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily when I was 7 or 8 I knew how to dial 911. She told me I was going to be the cause of her death and ate/chugged a bottle of lorazapamsin front of me.....I was a scared kid and loved her and called 911 and my baby sitter to be with me during the night. They pumped her stomach and she lived. I thank God for that. I'm very worried about her though. SHE WILL NOT REALIZE IT'S A SITUATION WITH HER THOUGH........How can I help her??????
I will check out the site....Nami friends and family support groups......I'm just desperate for a answer BIG TIME. I'm afraid she is going to wreck a marriage with a good man and mainly that she will NEVER be happy in life! Sigh. I love her so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!
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