I don't know how I'm doing anymore.

[breakingapart]

My little brother listened in on my phone conversation that I had with my friend recently, and I got mad, as would anyone else. But I overreacted. I slapped him hard on the arm. And, of course, when my parents found out all they said was, 'Well, we have to understand him, he's the baby of the family.' As to me they said, 'You shouldn't have acted like that towards him.'

I did overreact, but come on! The least they could do was try to understand me. He's fourteen, he should know better by now!

I have been taking Serotonin recently, and I'm not sure if its helping or not. Just not enough. Like, I'm not numb, or anything at all. Just kind of..dead, I think would be the word to describe it? I don't know, its something I have been trying lately. I am thinking about taking a slightly heavier amount than what I am on now. But I'm not still not sure if it will help me out or not. I'm not even sure if its helping me right now.

As for now, I'll just enjoy the numb-phase I am going through right now, because I know it will end. As for now, I'll just hold onto the numb-phase I am going through because I'm not sure what I will do when the suicidal phase comes back..

[lagatta]

Perhaps you did overreact but it would have been nice if your parents were more supportive.  I think your brother was very rude to listen into your coversation and whether he's the baby of the family or not he needs to be respectful.  

I understand about meds not always helping.  I thought mine were until I recently had a meltdown!

[LeftCoastChick]

Being bipolar and a teen is really rough, being a teen alone is hard enough, especially keeping one's temper.  My older brother used to do the same thing, all the time and then would turn it around so I was the bad person. I blew at him a couple of times. I do have to say, hitting doesn't solve anything, but it is a sign that your meds might not be working as well as they should. I would see your shrink to get your meds adjusted. I was on a med recently that cause me to be angry all of the time and I asked to go on it because so many people found it worked well, it didn't for me. So tell your shrink all of your feelings, even write them down, so you don't forget okay? It'll make things easier for you.
Hang in there,
LCC