Number one, you should never be ashamed for how you feel. You can't help how you feel.
Two,sounds like you do need to see a psychiatrist or a psych/mental health nurse practitioner which is who I see. The pictures in your mind change all the time until you get on the right meds, or talk to the right counselor or whatever.
Three, don't smoke weed. Even though it may make you feel better, you don't need to get busted for possession and do time. That would really upset your wagon.
Oh yea, I smoke weed almost every day. A small amount but it definitely helps during mania to take you out of the rafters. If it depresses you at all or makes you think, it's a bad idea. The last thing you need to do is sit there and think. Keep active. I always have noise in the back ground to distract me. All the time, even when I'm sleeping. Don't dwell man, it's horrible and makes it worse. You are NOT alone. You don't know me but we have something huge in common that connects us and we probably live 472937294 km away from each other in different countries. Be cool baby, just be cool.
Yup bro, sounds like bipolar to me. I've had it my whole life obviously but wasnt properly diagnosed til age 27. Depending in your sub diagnosis, I, II, or cyclomanic, will help you figure out what meds you should take. You NEED to see a PSYCHIATRIST not a GP or psychologist. It's a process that can't be rushed. I started with a three hour interview then two one hour ones after that and she's like, "Yup, you're so bipolar you could be mentioned in text books" lol. It can be completely managed man, don't worry! I was out in the proper meds 5 years ago and it took about 2 years to get the right dose and strength and for them to actually do what they are supposed to, then bam! I feel awesome like all the time. I still have physical symptoms but rarely psychological ones. You do feel like another person, like your looking through someone else's eyes. You start to worry about psychosis or split personality but it's most likely neither. See a PSYCHIATRIST and if you can, a young one like fresh out of med school or graduated within the last 10 years. They are more down with the newest s***. That's what you need. Peace!
Hey I'm sorry I can't help you much because I haven't a clue either, I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, (might be bipolar though) but I completely understand what your talking about. I get like that too, but it usually doesn't last a long time thankfully. Did you continue seeing a therapist or something after you were diagnosed?
Its probably important to say I'm not using anything now and haven't for a long time. Also I'm not sure if I trust my bipolar diagnosis because the doctor didn't actually know me that well. So I'm just wondering if anyone has had similar feelings to mine. I could feel something changing for a week but today I just knew that something was wrong. And I don't think it'll go away any time soon.