Bipolar Disorder Community
I feel strange, I don't know what's happening
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Bipolar Disorder is also known as "Manic Depressive Disorder". This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people with Bipolar Disorder. The forum covers topics ranging from Aggressive Behavior, Affect on friends and Family, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, Appetite Changes, Chronic Pain, Denial, Depression, Difficulty Concentrating, Euphoria, Guilt, Manic Depression, Medications, Mood Swings, Poor Judgment, and Sleep Disorders

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I feel strange, I don't know what's happening

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15 and with bipolar in college.  I've always struggled with depression and I pretty much know what it feels like.  I'm not so great at recognizing my manic episodes.  I was using drugs pretty heavily and would stop and start using sporadically.  Well I'm just never sure if I'm just happy or manic,  anyways, I was doing pretty well for a while.  Had some bad anxiety but was not really feeling to bad or good either way.  My moods weren't really dramatic.  But all of sudden I feel completely different.  It's like my entire personality has shifted.  It's hard to explain but my mind feels different.  I'm angry, I don't want to see anyone.  And I recognize those symptoms as depressive symptoms.  But I also feel weirdly in tune and alert to certain things.  And my anxiety is pretty high.  Well what really worries me is just how completely different I feel right now.  Like an entirely new person.  People at work could tell right away.  It was embarrassing I felt like I even talked differently.  Also I get weird flashes of thoughts...like I was driving around and the radio station I was listening to got staticky and it was freaking me out and then I saw this woman in her car and it was like the whole world around her disappeared and I only saw her and her car and the lights around her.  I don't know this stuff has happened before and I just want to know if anyone knows how I feel or what I'm talking about.  I feel so lost and alone and ashamed.
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Avatar_f_tn
Its probably important to say I'm not using anything now and haven't for a long time.  Also I'm not sure if I trust my bipolar diagnosis because the doctor didn't actually know me that well.  So I'm just wondering if anyone has had similar feelings to mine.  I could feel something changing for a week but today I just knew that something was wrong.  And I don't think it'll go away any time soon.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey I'm sorry I can't help you much because I haven't a clue either, I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, (might be bipolar though) but I completely understand what your talking about. I get like that too, but it usually doesn't last a long time thankfully. Did you continue seeing a therapist or something after you were diagnosed?
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Avatar_f_tn
Yup bro, sounds like bipolar to me. I've had it my whole life obviously but wasnt properly diagnosed til age 27. Depending in your sub diagnosis, I, II, or cyclomanic, will help you figure out what meds you should take. You NEED to see a PSYCHIATRIST not a GP or psychologist. It's a process that can't be rushed. I started with a three hour interview then two one hour ones after that and she's like, "Yup, you're so bipolar you could be mentioned in text books" lol. It can be completely managed man, don't worry! I was out in the proper meds 5 years ago and it took about 2 years to get the right dose and strength and for them to actually do what they are supposed to, then bam! I feel awesome like all the time. I still have physical symptoms but rarely psychological ones. You do feel like another person, like your looking through someone else's eyes. You start to worry about psychosis or split personality but it's most likely neither. See a PSYCHIATRIST and if you can, a young one like fresh out of med school or graduated within the last 10 years. They are more down with the newest s***. That's what you need. Peace!
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh yea, I smoke weed almost every day. A small amount but it definitely helps during mania to take you out of the rafters. If it depresses you at all or makes you think, it's a bad idea. The last thing you need to do is sit there and think. Keep active. I always have noise in the back ground to distract me. All the time, even when I'm sleeping. Don't dwell man, it's horrible and makes it worse. You are NOT alone. You don't know me but we have something huge in common that connects us and we probably live 472937294 km away from each other in different countries. Be cool baby, just be cool.
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909415_tn?1390585342
Number one, you should never be ashamed for how you feel.  You can't help how you feel.
Two,sounds like you do need to see a psychiatrist or a psych/mental health nurse practitioner which is who I see.  The pictures in your mind change all the time until you get on the right meds, or talk to the right counselor or whatever.  
Three, don't smoke weed. Even though it may make you feel better, you don't need to get busted for possession and do time.  That would really upset your wagon.
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