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I just went through a relaspe-my first mania since 2007.
This is my first major episode since 2007.I did have a mild depressive episode last fall however. I have been under alot of stress, my boyfriend of 11yrs and I just got married. Unfortnately I was unaware of how much that would reduce my social security check.Also, I am a graduate masters student in the field of art therapy. Due to problems with my mood disorder started with a mild depression in the fall-in the spring semester I was unable to complete my masters thesis essay project. Instead the teacher gave me an incomplete which is sort of like an extension. But I still have to complete this or i will not graduate.
Other stresstors included chronic pain from endo stage 4, the discovery via a ct scan of two renal kidney masses, a recent increase in prolaction, a decrease in thyroid- they say i have hypo-thryoidism now. I already knew i have a very small pituary microandenomia- basically means small benign tumor-last time it was tested the dr deemed it to be non-hormone producing. But it is it possibly the reason for the increase in prolactin. another possiblity is I could be pregnant.
My mania hospitalization lasted from 6/22/11 to 7/9/11. My husband had tto court petition me to get me any help. We have an agreement between us that if i get sick-manic-enough he must do this. With my manias I always get angry run away from home wind up homeless or in a shelter leaving all belongs like cell, ID,Meds , health insurance cards ect...I have gotten very hurt this way raped a couple times, even mugged or beat up. However if i do get that sick i usually no longer believe i am sick and am quite the handful. This time we could tell at least 2 or 3 weeks in advance-more likely 2 weeks. But we could not convince my shrink or therapist-we tried several times to contact them. I get treatment through community mental health.
But now we are married my health insurance is changing which is stressful as well.My husband has blue cross which has told us it will cover the bipolar with a note from social security stating I have never loss coverage and have a long history of this illness. That is a big relief-but now my main insurance with be blue cross AND my secondary insurance will be medicare. So that means co-pays, alot of them.
Since I been home it seems like i still have trouble sleeping probably every other nite. I burst into tears when i feel happy. I am smoking worse than ever.I get angry easy, sometimes also get obessed over looking for a job-hubby says to wait-and doing creative writing or making art. Does anyone know how to deal with these mood swings? I almost feel like i am suddenly "rapid cycling" but i have no history of that. My Rx is simply bipolar 1 with psychotic features. Sometimes i do very well on my meds and am medicine compliant- that is how i have managed to further my education. Unfortnately that can really confuse my therapist and dr if i am getting sick...they tend to think i am crying wolf or something. My dr even told me last time i saw him that because my lithiun level was at .9 in my blood i had to be stable....but i was not and i knew it. I have to see him again today in an hour -first time since hospital-does anybody have any words of wisdom for me please? any advice would help.
Other stresstors included chronic pain from endo stage 4, the discovery via a ct scan of two renal kidney masses, a recent increase in prolaction, a decrease in thyroid- they say i have hypo-thryoidism now. I already knew i have a very small pituary microandenomia- basically means small benign tumor-last time it was tested the dr deemed it to be non-hormone producing. But it is it possibly the reason for the increase in prolactin. another possiblity is I could be pregnant.
My mania hospitalization lasted from 6/22/11 to 7/9/11. My husband had tto court petition me to get me any help. We have an agreement between us that if i get sick-manic-enough he must do this. With my manias I always get angry run away from home wind up homeless or in a shelter leaving all belongs like cell, ID,Meds , health insurance cards ect...I have gotten very hurt this way raped a couple times, even mugged or beat up. However if i do get that sick i usually no longer believe i am sick and am quite the handful. This time we could tell at least 2 or 3 weeks in advance-more likely 2 weeks. But we could not convince my shrink or therapist-we tried several times to contact them. I get treatment through community mental health.
But now we are married my health insurance is changing which is stressful as well.My husband has blue cross which has told us it will cover the bipolar with a note from social security stating I have never loss coverage and have a long history of this illness. That is a big relief-but now my main insurance with be blue cross AND my secondary insurance will be medicare. So that means co-pays, alot of them.
Since I been home it seems like i still have trouble sleeping probably every other nite. I burst into tears when i feel happy. I am smoking worse than ever.I get angry easy, sometimes also get obessed over looking for a job-hubby says to wait-and doing creative writing or making art. Does anyone know how to deal with these mood swings? I almost feel like i am suddenly "rapid cycling" but i have no history of that. My Rx is simply bipolar 1 with psychotic features. Sometimes i do very well on my meds and am medicine compliant- that is how i have managed to further my education. Unfortnately that can really confuse my therapist and dr if i am getting sick...they tend to think i am crying wolf or something. My dr even told me last time i saw him that because my lithiun level was at .9 in my blood i had to be stable....but i was not and i knew it. I have to see him again today in an hour -first time since hospital-does anybody have any words of wisdom for me please? any advice would help.
Hi, I'm glad your sleep is improving, you will get there!
I have had the same problem with the best answer thing but then I realised that if you move your cursor over the top right corner of the post you think is best it comes up saying best answer with a box for you to tick..although I think it can be temperamental, bit like us lol..
I have had the same problem with the best answer thing but then I realised that if you move your cursor over the top right corner of the post you think is best it comes up saying best answer with a box for you to tick..although I think it can be temperamental, bit like us lol..
I keep getting emails to choose a best answer to my question. Unfortnately cannot figure out how to even do that. For one thing I am new to the site for another thing i have really enjoyed talking to all of you through this message board. I think you all deserve best answer!!LOL. It is nice to know that there are other real people out there battling this illness-even if you are invisible to me and just at the other end of your computer-it's still good to know there are others somewhat like me who struggle with; the meds, the ups and downs, the weight gain ect.Thank you everybody who posted. The last few days i seem to be waking up less times during the night at least-i will try to look at that as a hopeful sign. I see the dr again next friday-in seven days.
Btw please do not allow others to limit your own goals simply because of this illness. One mania was so bad they were determined to put me in an Adult Foster Care home my boyfriend at the time-now my husband-and his parents refused to let that happen to me. If it were not for his family....i am scared i would just be stuck in the system somewhere. It took me 13 yrs to get a four year bachelors degree and now it may take almost 6 yrs to get a two year masters degree. But I never let myself give up completely and neither should any of you. If you have a dream: to be a schoolteacher, or a firefighter or a lawyer or a doctor or a nurse or a poet or writer or artist or dancer....follow your dream and follow your heart. Because those rare time or hopefully increasingly more often-times of stability due to the meds working, you have as much right to follow your dreams as anybody else. Don't let others limit you or judge you-we have an illness and there is no cure but there are many meds which can help keep things under control and leave you feeling more "even' or mor "normal." do not give up hope.
I am very happy if anything insight i have shared manages to help anyone with bp. I have had this illness since 1992 so almost 20 yrs. I think in my case it really did not develop until i was 18. Some people may have a childhood form but i believe most develop the illness between 18-30 yrs of age. I am a very heavy reader, two books on bp i found helpful were: The bipolar Workbook by Monica Ramirez Basco,Phd-(2006 the guiford Press)
and The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz(The Guilford Press 2002) this last one includes a blank daily mood chart you can photocopy. Recently a Pysch dr told me to google the phrase "two week sleep diary' It's a free form you can download from the university of michigan. I find it very challenging to focus enough and be objective enough to fill out such forms on a daily basis. But I am trying because if my dr knows how i still struggle he can help me more. Also yes someone asked if my seroquel xr was increased? It was-a big jump from 200mg a day to now i take 600mg per day.I think it has definately helped. Unfortnately while i was in the hospital i was also diagnosised with hypothryoidism. The endo dr we saw turned out to be a really piece of "work" and this "tool" did not even remember to prescribe more thyroid med for me. So i ran out like two or three days ago-really feeling the effects. Will try to call my primary medicval dr tommorrow and see if she could ok a seven day supply just until we can afford to see her. Now that we are married there are co-pays on all my dr. vists ranging from 25-50$ It is frustrating because my ssdi benefits have been reduced to only 500$ per month, and my husband does not want me to work at this time-not because we are rich and not because he's a sexist pig but because he loves me and knows i have to go back to graduate school starting next month. I am studying to be an art therapist-i only have two semesters left.He does not want me to get stressed out between classes, internships and a real job all at once.
and The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz(The Guilford Press 2002) this last one includes a blank daily mood chart you can photocopy. Recently a Pysch dr told me to google the phrase "two week sleep diary' It's a free form you can download from the university of michigan. I find it very challenging to focus enough and be objective enough to fill out such forms on a daily basis. But I am trying because if my dr knows how i still struggle he can help me more. Also yes someone asked if my seroquel xr was increased? It was-a big jump from 200mg a day to now i take 600mg per day.I think it has definately helped. Unfortnately while i was in the hospital i was also diagnosised with hypothryoidism. The endo dr we saw turned out to be a really piece of "work" and this "tool" did not even remember to prescribe more thyroid med for me. So i ran out like two or three days ago-really feeling the effects. Will try to call my primary medicval dr tommorrow and see if she could ok a seven day supply just until we can afford to see her. Now that we are married there are co-pays on all my dr. vists ranging from 25-50$ It is frustrating because my ssdi benefits have been reduced to only 500$ per month, and my husband does not want me to work at this time-not because we are rich and not because he's a sexist pig but because he loves me and knows i have to go back to graduate school starting next month. I am studying to be an art therapist-i only have two semesters left.He does not want me to get stressed out between classes, internships and a real job all at once.
seems I have a lot to learn about my mania and triggers. Hopefully we all get the help we need :)
Hi there , just wanted to add to your question..I think it's pretty normal to go for a fair few years without an episode, thank god lol..I think with BP1 the mania's are so bad that when you are good with your meds you can keep them away for a while!
It's quite obvious that this has been triggered by stress, especially with the health concerns.
It sounds that you are doing great, all things considered..
I do the shop lifting thing too, and the excessive writing, also the dressing differently, it's quite shameful really LOL..
I'm sorry to hear of the terrible things you have been through as a result of your mania..it's good to hear that you and your man have a plan, and you know your warning signs..
I am also on Seroquel XR and I can't fault it! Like you said it guarantees that I sleep EVERY night ( for me that is what keeps me stable ) but doesn't make me a zombie.. I gained a few pounds to start with but have lost it since...
Has your pdoc increased your Seroquel recently? just thinking an increase might help you through these symptoms you are still getting?
Good luck and take care! You are doing so well, and advising other people here too :)
It's quite obvious that this has been triggered by stress, especially with the health concerns.
It sounds that you are doing great, all things considered..
I do the shop lifting thing too, and the excessive writing, also the dressing differently, it's quite shameful really LOL..
I'm sorry to hear of the terrible things you have been through as a result of your mania..it's good to hear that you and your man have a plan, and you know your warning signs..
I am also on Seroquel XR and I can't fault it! Like you said it guarantees that I sleep EVERY night ( for me that is what keeps me stable ) but doesn't make me a zombie.. I gained a few pounds to start with but have lost it since...
Has your pdoc increased your Seroquel recently? just thinking an increase might help you through these symptoms you are still getting?
Good luck and take care! You are doing so well, and advising other people here too :)
Thanks for the information. I am excited about taking it but I will be carefull of overeating as I am just now starting to get back down to the weight I used to be.
I am supposed to go see my new therapist on Monday. I also can't wait for that because I am expecting another episode within the next few days. I hope I am wrong but I will see. At least if it happens it will be affirmed that I have the power to tell when it is coming.
I am supposed to go see my new therapist on Monday. I also can't wait for that because I am expecting another episode within the next few days. I hope I am wrong but I will see. At least if it happens it will be affirmed that I have the power to tell when it is coming.
I actually have a very good pysch dr. The problem is i see him through community mental health and my time is so limited with you. I am looking into either seeing him at his private clinic, but it is a far drive from my house or seeing one of two other really good shrinks i have history with also at their private offices.
I have learned the hard way that at least if you see/can afford a private dr. there is usually a way to contact them outside of their office hours if you feel you are getting sick. Some of these dr many just call into your pharmacy without a visit if you tell them, for example you are getting less sleep or feeling paranoid or feeling sad and depressed, crying spells ect.
With community mental health your only after hours options is 911-which means hospitalization if you are sick enough or no help at all if they do not judge you to be a threat to yourself or others.
Without being a threat to yourself or others you may still be manic or mixed or depressed enough to have it be ruining your life. and the longer it takes to get a appointment with cmh the more sick you can get. This has happened to me like four different episodes now, at least maybe more. Right now they are telling me i am court ordered to go to cmh. I am trying to figure out if that is even true. I really would prefer a private dr even if that means a 25$ co-pay.
I have learned the hard way that at least if you see/can afford a private dr. there is usually a way to contact them outside of their office hours if you feel you are getting sick. Some of these dr many just call into your pharmacy without a visit if you tell them, for example you are getting less sleep or feeling paranoid or feeling sad and depressed, crying spells ect.
With community mental health your only after hours options is 911-which means hospitalization if you are sick enough or no help at all if they do not judge you to be a threat to yourself or others.
Without being a threat to yourself or others you may still be manic or mixed or depressed enough to have it be ruining your life. and the longer it takes to get a appointment with cmh the more sick you can get. This has happened to me like four different episodes now, at least maybe more. Right now they are telling me i am court ordered to go to cmh. I am trying to figure out if that is even true. I really would prefer a private dr even if that means a 25$ co-pay.
Yes, I do know something about risperdal. I used to take it in fact. It was a very good med for the reason i was taking it-some of my manias have gotten pyschotic and i have become paranoid. So it was a bit like a prevention measure for me. I did like how well it made me sleep but it often gave me strange dreams. Unfortnately I think it made me very hungry...not too sure about how much weight i gained but i think it was significant. Eventually it was discontinued and i tried abilify. That led straight to a very long and bad mania. Abilify did not work for me at all besides it had a nasty side effect that i kept losing bladder control?...Nowadays I take Sereoquel xr . I have absolutely no promblems with that i love my sereoquel. It makes me a little hungry but not nearly as much as the risperdal. Plus i sleep very sound on it. But i was on risperdal for probably about 4 yrs without any major promblems. I feel it is a good and safe med. Just be aware that there are certain risks on any anti-psychotic. And if you are older-over 60 I would really advise weighing the pros and cons. Unfortnately as we age anti-pyschotics can be very dangerous in the senior populations. Older persons require much smaller amounts for one thing. Pj pants and crazy hair huh?? Too funny.....I bet your family and friends can really tell the differences then!LOL.
Thank you so much for the advice and reassuring comments. I have already noticed that on the manic days I like to run around in my pajama pants and let my hair stick out every where. I won't comb it.
I am also a big participant in the Addiction forum on here. It is a long and beautiful story but I think you already know the ending. Mine is a happy ending. I no longer wish to drink, smoke, or abuse any other substances because I love my medicine and I don't want to do anything to interrupt the therapeutic effects they have. I won't even take tylenol because I read in a nurses hand book that it could affect the therapeutic advantage of my Lamictal. I am about to start taking Risperdal and no nothing about it except it is supposed to help with the OCD and impulsiveness. I have high hopes for the medicine. Do you know anything about it, good or bad doesn't matter I am going to give it a chance anyway even if you say it is bad....I have to. However any knowledge you have would be greatly beneficial for me. Thank you
I am also a big participant in the Addiction forum on here. It is a long and beautiful story but I think you already know the ending. Mine is a happy ending. I no longer wish to drink, smoke, or abuse any other substances because I love my medicine and I don't want to do anything to interrupt the therapeutic effects they have. I won't even take tylenol because I read in a nurses hand book that it could affect the therapeutic advantage of my Lamictal. I am about to start taking Risperdal and no nothing about it except it is supposed to help with the OCD and impulsiveness. I have high hopes for the medicine. Do you know anything about it, good or bad doesn't matter I am going to give it a chance anyway even if you say it is bad....I have to. However any knowledge you have would be greatly beneficial for me. Thank you
my dr appointment went very well. When i described my mania to him he seemed surprised and then started laughing at some of the details.Not because mania itself is funny but because of how out of control and bossy i can be. We both enjoyed a good laugh over that one. He wants to see me again in two weeks.
Also take note of any dramatic personality changes. For example with me, I may tend to dress more colorful, my speech changes-gets faster or rapid, one tip-off for me is i always start swearing alot. I was raised a bit like that but my husband does not like it if i swear so when i am well i tend not too. But if i am manic i can curse with the best of them-i have been told i sound like a sailor.lol. Also watch if you start to drink or alcohol or use drugs especially if you do not do these things normally. When manic i have also been known to shoplift, hitchhike just various weird stuff. If you make yourself a list of what is specific to you it is very helpful. The same is true for bipolar depression.
I just want you to know that yes there is hope definately. My last few manic episodes were years in between. I had a very bad one in 2001-more mixed state/depressive around sept 11, then i had a horrible one in 2003 that lasted on and off for 6 whole months. My next one after that was in 2007 and only lasted about eight weeks. this one has probably been 6 weeks long of the whole episode including the earlier stages which seemed to be more mild, i.e. hypomania.
Journaling is a very good and useful tool-however please be careful if you feel that you are unable to stop writing or writing instead of sleeping, eating , using restroom ect. Some people get a side effect during their manias called hypergraphia- I have had this often before myself. It just kinda means if you notice you are writing alot more often then usual you may wish to discuss this with your dr. or social worker or case manager because this can too be a sign of mania. I am also an artist so sometimes it will hit me that way-this mania i spent a great deal of time creating magazine photo collages.
The best way to stay well for long periods is to always stay on your meds, keep going to talk-therapy and if you or your loved ones notice any symptoms keep track then also communicate it to the dr so he/she can increase or change your meds.
Journaling is a very good and useful tool-however please be careful if you feel that you are unable to stop writing or writing instead of sleeping, eating , using restroom ect. Some people get a side effect during their manias called hypergraphia- I have had this often before myself. It just kinda means if you notice you are writing alot more often then usual you may wish to discuss this with your dr. or social worker or case manager because this can too be a sign of mania. I am also an artist so sometimes it will hit me that way-this mania i spent a great deal of time creating magazine photo collages.
The best way to stay well for long periods is to always stay on your meds, keep going to talk-therapy and if you or your loved ones notice any symptoms keep track then also communicate it to the dr so he/she can increase or change your meds.
Hi and welcome to the forum
There is no cure for bipolar. I am still cyclying right now but I am glad to hear you have been pretty stable up until now. If they cure it I will be one of the first in line but I except it for now and do like you. I try to notice when the mania starts. I have been journaling like a mad man and paying close attention to my moods leading up to the mania. This will benefit me greatly after my mood stabilizes. It sounds like you have a lot of knowledge about BP 1 and it gives me inspiration to know you had went so long without an episode. Thank you for posting that. Can't wait till I have significant "normal" days, if there is such a thing.
Let us know how everything turns out and any wisdom you may have for dealing with the manic depression and mania. I know a little but I spend a lot of time researchin what doctors have written and not enough from people who battle it ever day like I do.
I am glad you have someone in your life to go through this with, he sounds very supportive.
There is no cure for bipolar. I am still cyclying right now but I am glad to hear you have been pretty stable up until now. If they cure it I will be one of the first in line but I except it for now and do like you. I try to notice when the mania starts. I have been journaling like a mad man and paying close attention to my moods leading up to the mania. This will benefit me greatly after my mood stabilizes. It sounds like you have a lot of knowledge about BP 1 and it gives me inspiration to know you had went so long without an episode. Thank you for posting that. Can't wait till I have significant "normal" days, if there is such a thing.
Let us know how everything turns out and any wisdom you may have for dealing with the manic depression and mania. I know a little but I spend a lot of time researchin what doctors have written and not enough from people who battle it ever day like I do.
I am glad you have someone in your life to go through this with, he sounds very supportive.
Bipolar disorders are very complex and can be difficult to treat. It is not uncommon for patients who have been stable on meds to have epsiodes of mania or depression - so called breakthroughs. Stress is one common cause of a breakthrough episode.
If you have concerns about your doctor you might consider getting a consultation with another psychiatrist - somebody who specializes in psychopharmacology of bipolar illness. I always welcome the opportunity to have a collegue take a fresh look at any patient who is having problems with their treatment.
If you have concerns about your doctor you might consider getting a consultation with another psychiatrist - somebody who specializes in psychopharmacology of bipolar illness. I always welcome the opportunity to have a collegue take a fresh look at any patient who is having problems with their treatment.
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