I miss my mania!

I am well medicated and am stable when on meds but feel flat and my creativity is in the shitter. I miss my manic episodes something terrible! Until they get out of control an bad symptoms take over.
There is no drug available that can provide such a peak moment and incredible state of mind. I wish meds could support a manic state that is controlled vs eliminating it completely.
I actually feel blessed to have experienced extremes of mind/body that "normal people" never have or can.
I still invite the signs and fiddle with my meds to allow hypo mania/mania but it always ends terribly.
I am hopeful that more sophisticated meds arrive one day that does not supress but control my illness .
The things I could do...lol

[ericashley]

Oh man...amen to that. I feel the same way! I'd be queen of the world if I could just keep that up all the time. I feel bad for people that have to live in a monotone state all their lives never feeling that freedom and energy. Is it worth it for the low swings though? ****....who knows. I think so.

[captainann]

I am new to this site and have suffered with this for about 12 years now.  I have not found meds that work for me and yes the mania is a high but then comes the lows which overwhem me more than the mania.  I just can seem to find a balance.  Calm is what I seek all the time now.  I feel alone always. Xanax from time to time.  My doc was me to see a syc but, it cost to much plus the meds almost killed me.  Lost

[Bahena]

I hear you.. know do you  think it's  better being medicated or unmedicated? The highs are the best I think!