I need advice pls..my partner has been diagnosed with Bipolar

[mamateddy]

Hi there

I am really close to break down but I know I have to be very strong. I am 25, my boyfriend is 34 and got bipolar disorder. Since we live together in the last 2years he was fine but 2 weeks ago he started to say he is feeling down. I thought he maybe just sad as everybody else can be, and after he started to say that he hears different voices like the whole nation want to talk to him, and in a spiritual way he can communicate with the royal family. He really felt down every day in the last 1 week, he was crying almost every day and blaming himself for all things. He thinks he is a very bad person, which is not true, becoz he is a very nice guy.
So normally he has a melt down for 10 minutes then he is smiling for other 10 minutes then he is down again, then smiling again...
He really made me worry as he told me yesterday the voices in his head are telling him they are going to kill him and every nite he cries himself to sleep cos he is very scared. The same happened 2 years ago but his doctor gave him Olanzapin and he was sorted within a week. That time he got 20 mg/day. Now its going on more than a week, we got a new doctor who refused to give him more than 12mg/day, he behave a bit differently than before, becoz its going on more than a week, and he is still not sorted, he lost his appetite, and cant sleep and crying a lot. He is not violent but made me scared when he said his voices are telling him they are going to kill him.
Some days ago I got enough I phoned 999 and when the parademics arrived they pulled himself up and he was very fine so the doctors didnt do anything as they say: He is fine". Of course when they left the melt down again.
Guys how could I help him? What am I suppose to do when he is saying he needs to pray 5 hours/day or saying all this voices in his head are the reality?
He is confused on the smallest things, hardly can make a simple dicision.
When my darling will be again ok?
I think I will have a nerve breakdown by he will be fine  
Please if you have any advice please help!
Thank you

[DLA]

He needs to be in a hospital.  NOW!  If he doesn't get help immediately you need to get out of there.  Sounds like you could truly be in danger if he is listening to the voices in his head and may act on them.  He could turn on you.

I'd give him the ultimatum that either he gets help right now or I'm outta there.  I'm BP and if I started acting this way and wouldn't go into a hospital my husband should take our child and leave.

[mamateddy]

Hello DNA many thanks for your reply.
The voices has gone but he has increadibly mood swings, he never agressive but he has fears. Last nite he was crying again and said he is scared from everything that he hurt ppl or he is a bad person. So he started to pray 4 hours/day and i cant stop him. He is on Olanzapine 12.5 mg / day for a week but didnt seem its help. When his mind will totally clear up?
Wish you all the best

[Crystlas]

It takes the average bipolar person two years to stablize on their medications.  He did not "get" bipolar, you are born with it.  It just got to the point that he was able to get a diagnosis, due to the symptoms getting bad enough.  I was exactly the same way as your boyfriend this past year.  I was living with my boyfriend too.  We even got engaged.  He decided after I had to go to the hospital that he did not want to be with a crazy woman as he called it.  So, he bailed on me.  This is going to be a very tough battle and you have to decide if you can make it through.  It will be very very hard.  My ex is weak willed and gave up on me.  It happens and I am ok with it.  I know there is a man out there that will be a good supporter.  I was diagnosed a year and a half ago and I am getting stablized very well already.  I am now on the right meds, watch my caffiene intake and avoid drinking alcohol compleatly.  I know this helps me alot.  You have to be very very patient with him and expect him to be a total ahole at times.  He will seem crazy and out of control.  He may get suicidal, I did and that is why I had to go to the hospital.  DO NOT blame yourself for any of the problems.  It is a biochemistry imbalance of the brain and we can not help it.  Think of it as diabetes of the brain.  Just like regulating the pancreas, bipolars are trying to regulate brain chemicals.  Medications will change his biochemistry into a more stable and balanced level.  However, it might take trial and error to find the right combo for him.  I went through 10 different meds to find mine.  Hang in there, educate yourself on bipolar disorder and try to find a local support group for the both of you.  Take care and grab some me time when you can!  

[triedeverymed]

The best thing you can do is get counseling just for yourself. That's what my hubby had to do. You need to have an outlet to dicsuss the feelings you're having and how to best deal with your boyfriends bipolar.
Just remember, it's not an easy road but the disease can be kept under control. Also, he is hurting as much as you. I have bipolar and I know I suffer as much as I make my family suffer but we're working on it through counseling.
Get some support sweetie-you need it.

[mamateddy]

hi Crystlas
Many thanks for your reply. Yeah I am 100% sure I stick with him no matter what and we are engaged.
He had excatly the same problem 2 years ago but now its a big more difficult. 2 years ago it took only 4 days to clear his mind up. The problem is I dont really know how to treat him. He has mood swings, if he is very very down he is praying (today he did it for 8 hours), when he is up he is smiling (max 2 minutes) and if he is not praying or not smiling then he is dealing with his voices in his head. He has 2 kind of words, one is saying he is useless and worthless and a bad nasty person, and the other one is the worse one: he thinks he can communicate with the royal family via spirits....Today he said the royal family has choosen him for the "good doer ambassador" and he has to save the world. He doesnt have any bad agressive moments and we go to see the doctor tomorrow but dont know what to say or response when he is saying the queen in talking to him....

[mamateddy]

Hiya

Thank you for your mail.
Yeah you are right, I need councelling becoz my nerves are really playing with me now. Thats fantastic that you too are having each other!

[Crystlas]

You are a good lady to stick by him.  I wish my fellow had been that way.  Now I am discovering what kind of a hateful person he is so I am so so glad he is gone.  I know that the right man will stick by my side too!  Just remember to have down time and take care of your self.  Learn to ride the waves and you should be fine.  Mine could not do that, so good bye to him.  I am frustrated right now, sorry.  He is refusing to pay me back the money he owes me claiming that I made him miserable and that is my payment.  GRRR.....