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573297 tn?1304709140

I want to stay in a drunk stupor

I am someone that is known by friends as one who can sniff a bottle cap of a cooler and get drunk because I don't drink often or alot. This past two weeks, all I haven't to do was drink and drink to the point of getting drunk and staying that way. I still say that now!!!!  I got drunk yesterday after work on a patio due to the nice weather...well obviously it was due to the booze but the nice weather enticed me to go on the patio.

It just feels like everything is weighing so heavy on me right now and that everyone expects stuff out of me that being drunk just makes it go away....and gives me the attitude that I don't care.....I don't know what's going on....I am not someone who tends to look to booze for answers but this past while I have wanted to stay in the same state: DRUNK. nice easy and mellow drunk state. Of course I don't take my meds if I know I will drink....so.....for the past week I have not been taking any.  Does anyone go through this????
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Sometimes it is a cumulative effect. One little thing doesn't get us it is the 100th little thing. Not having personal space would be a big trigger for me. I need my alone time. But if you need a roommate for financial reasons than there isn't much you can do.

You have two people who are worried about you, as well as a few people on here. And one of the things I've learned the hard way is that my brain is a big fat liar sometimes. Just because you think it, doesn't make it the best choice, or will make anything better. Right now your brain is telling you 'If I take this drink I can numb out the world and feel better" but do you really feel any better? Is even one of your stressors gone? Not taking your meds isn't going to make anything better either. Can you remember life before meds? Maybe a trip down the bipolar chaos memory lane is in order.

But you know this. You are a smart woman. You wouldn't come on here posting about it if you really wanted to be doing this. I think, and correct me if I am wrong, that you are trying to find the courage to stop but am not quite sure you are strong enough to handle the stressors without the booze. Plus the increase in bipolar moods may be making it harder to say no. It is no coincidence that more people with bipolar become alcoholics than the rest of the population.

This is still a new thing to you. Its only been a short while. You aren't yet physically addicted, but you are on the way to being, and you think you've got problems now - they pale in comparison to becoming an alchoholic.

Please consider a trip to the psychiatrists office and be really honest about what is going on. They may be able to help you. And if it is in Ontario like it is Saskatchewan you can call for an emergency appointment or at least on the cancellation list if you explain to intake what is going on. As well you can get on the list for some free counselling through mental health that can help you. If it is like it is here there will be a waiting list but at least it is free. I got put on the urgent list, there was a cancellation, and I got in to see someone within a month. You are not without tools, but you have to use them. And it will take some guts to admit that you've messed up and need some help. There was a reason you went off meds and onto booze in the first place and unless you address that - you won't be able to move forward.

Like you've said you've handled worse in the past. You can handle this to. Its just part of your brain is lying to you right now and you need to tell it to bugger off, and listen to the quieter voice that gut intuition that tells you the right thing to do. You've handled worse, you can get through this. You just may need a little help along the way. Reach out for the resources available to you.

Please consider getting some outside help. It may be too much to try and do this one on your own.
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573297 tn?1304709140
Hi, what gets me is the desire to stay in this mood now when the stress I am under at this time isn't even close to what I have been under before. I have had to deal with way worse than I do now but yet all my brain keeps telling me is to be numb. Numb and mellow and I honestly don't know why. It feels like everyone wants something from me but like I just said....I have had it way WORSE than this. So what the hell is my problem? What am I thinking? EVERYTHING is getting to me: my living situation (let a friend move in and now I don't have my personal space), don't know what I am going to do with my son for the summer months off, money, work favoritism....not in my favor, lack of intimacy, stress of someone harassing me in my building and others yelling at each other all hours of the day....but I usually have WAY thicker skin than this and can usually deal with it all. But this time around I can't seem to do anything but tie my hands by drinking....did it quite a few days in a row.
My guy friend said he was worried, my friend says she can tell I am not taking the pills but she can't. This is just me. I am SO tired all of a sudden.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Self sabotage. That is what this sounds like to me. Just being honest. Stopping your meds so you can drink is a quick way to become an alcoholic with uncontrolled bipolar. Alcohol is a depressant so once the buzz wears off you will end up lower than you were. I know too many people who have has such a long hard road recovering from alcoholism. Too many. Don't be one of them.

If you are taking lamotrigine don't just go back to your regular dose after stopping meds. You have to titre back up again or you could get the rash. Just going off meds without taking the time to titre down is dangerous. It can throw the entire brain chemistry out of whack. And it can take weeks for the meds to be completely out of your system so not taking your evening meds so you can drink simply doesn't work that way.

If the meds aren't working go see the psychiatrist, if the stress is too high go see a therapist to learn some new coping mechanisms. Numbing out has too high a cost associated with it.

And I do get it. Somedays I crave opiates or benzo's just to give me a break from life. Everyone wants that break from life sometimes but I sincerely believe the only way out is through. There is no way to avoid the problems. Wish there were but there isn't. Drinking is just going to multiply those problems if it hasn't already.

Stop now while you still can.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't know if its part of mental illness or just human nature, but after reading all your posts and thinking about my experiences it does seem we have a tendency to alter our moods, numb feelings out, for me I'll use anything! whether it be pot, alcohol, codeine, tramadol, I've done it all! I try not to, but I have a weakness that no matter how strong I can be with other things, this chemical high that I can get overpowers me..
Helpful - 0
1673169 tn?1316541930
I agree with what both beeboo and sickofpillsandpain said. Well done.
Helpful - 0
1683690 tn?1308353392
Hi, it's quite normal to seek escape and we all do it in one way or another. Problem comes when we say sod it to what we know causes us even more problems. I am not a drinker either however have tried really hard but it doesn't agree with me or my meds. I am more like Bradian and this helps me greatly HOWEVER this does not mean we advice you to do anything that could effect you further. Hope you are able to face things again soon and start your Meds asap. Maby bring this up with doc. Please don't beat yourself up though. Big hugs
Helpful - 0
1695559 tn?1311903428
i used to binge drink all of the time . i went from going on 2-3 week off and on benders to a full fledged drunk. i would drink for 3-4 days straight then pass out for a day or 2 then back to it. i had black outs everytime i drank and i lost my husband and kids to it. i have sence stopped drinking, and gained custody of my kids.. but now i have health and emotional issues because of it. be careful and find something else to do to relax. meditation and yoga are great! just be careful you might turn into a drunk before you even realize it! i know all about numbing your feelings and making things better for the moment but trust me it will eventually make things alot worse then they were! i had a group of friends that i drank with and all of us but 2 out of 6 moved on and cleaned up. the 1 is still sitting on a bar stool with her new drinking buddies.. she flunked out of school and has a crappy going no where job and lives with her mom at 28! and another one died from alcohol poisoning =[ it's sad.
Helpful - 0
1673169 tn?1316541930
I personally prefer pot as it does not interact with my  meds. I try not to drink because I get triggered. People may disagree with me smoking pot, but I personally enjoy it and nothing bad has come of it.
Helpful - 0
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