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I'm bipolar - husband wants a divorce
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Bipolar Disorder is also known as "Manic Depressive Disorder". This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people with Bipolar Disorder. The forum covers topics ranging from Aggressive Behavior, Affect on friends and Family, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, Appetite Changes, Chronic Pain, Denial, Depression, Difficulty Concentrating, Euphoria, Guilt, Manic Depression, Medications, Mood Swings, Poor Judgment, and Sleep Disorders

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I'm bipolar - husband wants a divorce

I am bipolar.  I do take my meds.  I do see a psychiatrist.  We have been married for 24 years.  All of our children are grown and on their own.  My husband has recently started hinting at divorce.  He keeps saying I'm crazy, delusional, too emotional, sick of my mood swings on and on.  There is no end to the complaints and how they keep getting thrown up at me.  What I would like to know is - what chances do I have in a divorce?  Do I lose everything?  He keeps saying he's going to have me committed - that I belong in a psych ward.  Can he do this?  I'm really afraid at this point.  Yes, I have been talking to my doctor about this situation.  Is there anyong else that has gone through this situation?  How did you handle it?
Tags: i'm, polar, Bipolar, husband, want, Divorce
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10 Comments Post a Comment
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1714404_tn?1322881742
i dont think he can put you anywhere against your will,thats unfair of your husband doing that as you need all the support you can get,my own girlfriend has bipolar and other mental illness and i love her heaps i would never walk away from her shes my baby and its hard for us cause im in australia and shes in the uk and all i want is to be with her and look after i would do what ever it takes to get her well, maybe an idea for you is to join a support group your doctor should be able to help you there
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1540869_tn?1351217613
WOW sounds like he has really lost himself. What a jerk. I think that just because you are bi-polar and emotional doesn't mean he should go around saying things like that , that is just awful and cruel. You are doing everything you need to do i highly doubt that you will lose everything, that doesn't sound right. I remember when my mom went through a divorce they used her mental illness a lot , but it doesn't mean they can count you out of everything, one has nothing to do with the other. He can't have you committed with out a second persons opinion i think. But why would he do that to you?  
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1896954_tn?1323471896
I once heard, that people with bipolar or ADD, ADHD, or any kind of mental disorder are not the problem. Society is the one with a PROBLEM because that is their way of rejecting their own defects people who don't understand don't live in a reality world they live in a fantasy where everything has to be perfect. but we were all born into imperfection, thats what makes variety special. I have been through relationships and if they can't handle my imperfection well their will be someone that will understand one day. Does bipolar always have to be their excuse because they don't want to be their? I have a neighbor who is not bipolar and he is always moody and nagging is he Bipolar? you get what I am saying? I think it's just a faze? They are called mid life crisis, and I think thats whats happening to you. I'm sure he will grow out of it and things will get back to normal. Men also have raging hormones and they can also have their moments just like the women who have pms.No you can't be commited against your will unless you try to harm yourself or someone else.Take a deep breath and  walk away when he starts criticizing because your stressing yourself and you don't need to hear negativity. Isn't being Biploar enough? Take Care and good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
Putting me in a Psych ward always comes up when I am in an emotional state (especially if I throw things at him).  If society could ever get used to the idea that there are some of us with mental illness but that we can have successful lives regardless - wouldn't that be a miracle!  I was a banker for 25 years and did fine until I was displaced when they eliminated my job.  I have had a real hard time since then.  One minute you are important and the next you are useless!  There are few people that know I am bipolar and even fewer that believe in such a thing.  What does that tell you?!  I get so tired of trying to explain why I am the way I am - no matter what literature you print out and hand to them or what song you relate to and point out - people just don't get it!  I guess I am just getting to the point where I am tired of trying to explain myself!
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1540869_tn?1351217613
I totally agree with you. I have borderline there are therapists that refuse to see me just based on that fact. It's sad and it's making this world such a more awful place. So many people these days have mental illnesses and just due to the stigma the people that don't have it make it ten times worse. Like they think there better? Everyone who doesn't have a disorder and does judge is a narcissist anyway. Hold themselves above everyone else. It's ridiculous. I totally agree with what your saying , it's not fair. I think sometimes soon in this world things will change. I hope that they will. And i think you don't need to explain anything, you held a job, you are fine, you are doing everything you need to do . And in that CASE there is really NOTHING the court system can do anyway.
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1896954_tn?1323471896
sweety you are very important you acomplished alot in a little bit of time that it would take others a lifetime to accomplish. I see you raised a family, including your husband. you came home, cleaned, cooked, took care of the children. That sounds like 3 jobs at once and lets not forget the old ball and chain spouse, thats alot to conquer. You worked as a banker for 25 years and if you think about it you did it being Bipolar, a standing ovation to you! I am sure that if anyone was diagnosed with Bipolar right this minute at the age of 40 they would probably go crazy and won't know what to do. Not even accaept it. your not crazy, your overwhelmed and emotional. That is a half lifetime of stress now it's your turn to relax. keep taking your meds and keep seeing the psyciatrist. episodes don't last a lifetime.
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Avatar_f_tn
I went to see the Doc yesterday - he doubled my Lamital - its now 400mg - anyone else take this much?  You read so much about these meds and it scares the heck out of you!  I don't know which is worse?!  Being afraid of the meds or being afraid of myself  :-)
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1726783_tn?1326185388
I am currently on 200mg lamital nightly and it's working well for me. I still experienced mood swing occasionally, around 2-3 times a week. I notice my mood swings and my way of dealing with it is to run 10-17km on alternate days. I was diagnosed with BPDII 6 months ago at age 34. I lost my job last year because I was simply so dysfunctional.

Now I am pretty functional and preparing for my exam in two weeks. Also I am starting to feel confident to start looking for job. Just imagine I haven't worked in a year.
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Avatar_f_tn
I was on 400mg of the lamictal/lamotrigine but had to reduce when I developed unrelated kidney problems. It high but not dangerous. As far as meds go lamotrigine is one of the easiest to tolerate and few long term effects.

As for divorce because you are considered disabled he would most likely have to continue to pay support to you until you got married again (if you got married again). Him locking you in the psyc ward would further your case not hinder it. All I can say is get a good lawyer. You would be eligible for at least half of the possessions. Being mentally ill does not affect your property rights. It would affect custody rights but seeing your children are raised that is not an issue. This is how it is in Canada, and our divorce laws are similar I think. I bought a book on law and divorce when I went through mine. It was enlightening to say the least.

We were **** poor broke so there wasn't a lot of marital assets. I did threaten him with all I would do to him if he didn't pay for the lawyer for the divorce though. So at least I got $1000 out of the dead beat.

This being said, if you are throwing things at him, you may need to look into that behaviour more closely. Maybe a med change, some cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, or perhaps the best would be couples therapy with someone skilled in mood disorders so he doesn't trigger you would help. It is not reasonable to expect someone to stay when they are the brunt of angry outbursts. Not saying he isn't acting like a jerk face, just saying that I wouldn't stay if someone was throwing stuff at me. Bipolar or not it isn't fair to ask that of another person.
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Avatar_f_tn
Divorce laws vary from state to state, however with the help of a lawyer, you should get 1/2 of all marital property. Currently, spousal support is not often given.
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