Recently diagnosed with bipolar, ive read so much about it and still dont think i am..i think i just have very high anxiety, GAD was my original diagnosis.
But recently ive been very impulsive, i had a zopiclone overdose which was impulsive. I slept with a guy friend of mine, which is COMPLETELY against my morals and judgement, ive never done that b4. And today I STOLE a food item from the grocery store. This was completely impulsive, i just did it in the moment, I have money i dont know why i did it. And now i regret it so much that i cant stop thinking about it- i only regret it because my friend works there and he was talking to me so i feel like he's going to find out and then tell everyone i know.
Whenever i start stressing over something, I stress about it all night, all day and cant get it out of my head. This whole week ive been regreting the guy i hooked up with and now im regreting stealing from the grocery store. Im a 23 year old female. I havent been able to sleep at all for the past 3 weeks, well ive had insomnia my phone life but the past 3 weeks has been really bad.
The longer you go without sleep, the worse it gets. If I go one day without sleep, I could easily do all of the things that you talked about...except sleeping with a guy...lol
Do they have you on meds yet? You need sleep and that is your biggest problem right now. The obsessive racing thoughts are going to haunt you as well until you get some sleep. I urge you to take your meds and if you are not on a sleeping med that works for you, go see your doctor and get on something different. You may also consider going inpatient while you stabilize to avoid anymore destructive behavior. Take this seriously. It only gets worse if you don't advocate and participate in your treatment plan.
Whether you're bipolar, GAD, ADD or diagnosed as something else, the bottom line is that you're not sleeping, you're making poor (impulsive) choices that it sounds like you normally wouldn't make, and you have constant negative and/or racing thoughts for long periods of time. You need to see someone immediately. I don't know if you're on meds and if you are have they worked in the past or did you suddenly quit taking them? Go to your psych doc right away or call your regular doc for a referral to one who specializes in this. Bubulous is right--it will get worse and it sounds like it's already been bad for too long. Get treatment now, please. Good Luck and Godspeed.
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