In desperate need of advise.

[Nadine08]

Sorry for how  long it is... My daughter will be four In March. I have always had problems with her behavior because she is so defiant I could never find any type of discipline that would work for us. The past year things have escalated to such an extreme that I had to drop out of college. Her behavior effects every aspect of my life now. My dropping out of school was a result of her extreme separation anxiety. I started failing classes due to missing so much school. She would start her crying and yelling the night before if she new she had day care the next day. In the morning I could not get her dressed let alone out the front door. She is very very violent and is CONSTANTLY screaming for no reason at all. We could be watching a movie on the couch and she will just randomly have bursts of screams. This goes on all day long. Seems like she is more angry than happy anymore. Any type of discipline such as time out just escalates her behavior to the point where I end up in tears because I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. She pulls chunks of her hair out, pinches and hits herself and other people. She does not play with any of her toys. Sh would rather play with random pieces of junk that she finds around the house ( ie: a receipt) If you give her crayons and a coloring book she will eat the crayons and the paper or color on the table. Which is odd because she is sooo smart.  She thinks that she is entitled to a tremendous amount of independence. (touching the stove and microwave) She will hoard lighters if I leave them anywhere she can get them (my coat pocket, not just out in the open..) She will tell me that she wants to kill me or that she can hurt me. She does not sleep at night and her mood changes at the drop of a hat. She also spits and snots everywhere when she is mad. Her behavior is out of control. We recently went to the pediatrician and she was prescribed Gabapentin once a day as a trial. Its used to treat bipolar. Does anyone have a young child with bipolar that can offer me advise and does anyone know how long it takes for this medicine to get into your system? Any advise would be greatly appreciated! I'm tired of feeling like a failure because there isn't anything I Can do to help her at this point. Thanks in advance.

[Nadine08]

Thanks so much for your kind words. They are very much appreciated!

[Midijane]

Hi Nadine,

Holy cow it sounds like you must be completely drained at this point. Raising kids is hard enough let alone one with behavioral issues like your daughter. I understand how you feel, my son has special needs similar to Aspergers syndrome and has exhausted me to tears so many times throughout the years that I couldnt even begin to count.

I always say, all kids have issues, just different issues. We do our best as parents to get them raised into happy young adults but it aint easy. Ok, so here is my two cents:

Assuming you have health insurance, call your insurance mental health hotline(listed on the back of every insurance card) or go online to their website to see who the providers are in your area. You can set up an appointment with a psychiatrist MD who is able to prescribe medications and provide therapy counseling, or you can set up a visit with a counselor/psychologist for therapy counseling. My son went to see a counselor for years but now likes to goto his group therapy sessions. He likes them so much he gets really upset when he misses?

It takes a village to raise our kids these days and it sounds like you could use someone with experience in your corner. Your daughter may just be dealing with separation anxiety in the best way she knows how, or there may be something else going on. Either way I wish you the best and hope things quiet down for you and kiddo soon.

Take care

[Kelz72312]

I WOULD DEFF TAKE HER TO A MENTAL HEALTH DOC.