Is this normal for my condition?

Um, hi. So I suspect I may have bipolar disorder but I think it's highly unlikely anyway; no one in my family has it- as far as I know- and I may have hypothyroidism- I'm getting that checked tomorrow but I'm 90% sure the results will be positive.
However, I read somewhere that people with hypothyroid suffer from "unipolar" depression and they don't get manic or hypomanic episodes unless they're bipolar. So here's the thing:
for as long as I remember I have been feeling depressed and irritated for no reason at all, but two weeks ago- not sure when it started exactly- and until last night I suddenly felt on top of the world and I had ideas and plans running through my mind. I couldn't focus on anything, but I'm always like that anyway. I couldn't sit still, I fidgeted alot more than usual, and I finished all my chores- I even walked around the house looking for something to do and moving things around when I had nothing to do. I felt more "social" than usual (as social as an aspie can get anyway) and so happy that nothing could phase me. Well, yes, I got extremely irritated when I didn't get my way and yelled a bit, but who doesn't from time to time? I got somewhat confrontational, which is something I usually am terrified off (confrontations, I mean), but it wasn't intentional.
Anyway, I didn't get much sleep and felt fine without it, and I stayed awake for 24 hours straight until last night. Today, I woke up after 12 hours of sleep feeling like I did before- depressed, fatigued, no appetite, no interest in anything, crying for no reason whatsoever and I lost all the confidence I had those past two weeks. I may have been scaring myself before, but compared to this, I think I really miss that feeling I had until yesterday.
Are these changes in mood possible with hypothyroidism? Is anyone else like me?
Am I making any sense? Sorry if I bored anyone...

[loimmarmar]

Hello, yes you made perfect sense, not bored and WELCOME here, Although sad your here for that reason and not just to say HI !!  What you explained sounded like things that I went through...THEY said Bi-Polar....I was ssooo high...then crying and ssooo low, then unstoppable, cleaned my house and anyone elses, then couldnt get up or stay awake....Those are symptoms of several things in which you mentioned all but one....My blood workup does show GRAVES DISEASE, (thyroid), hypo but do you have any of the other symptoms that goes with the thyroid? sweating or cold, weight gain or loss, change in texture of hair...Although I now have the graves diagnosis...I know it was caused by an exposure to chemicals, the first one was natural gas ---small---3 1/2 year leak...the next exposure REACTIVATED the symptoms and that exposure was mold...That could be what makes you bounce back and forth...The highs are great but please do keep a reality check....NO YOU CAN NOT FLY OFF THE BUILDING and do not attempt to cut your hair while to high or low, you will regret it the next day. I do hope you find your answers  Have a wonderful Blessed Day!!!   GOD BLESS!!!     loimmarmar

[dinaali]

aww, thank you :) God bless you too.
Yeah, I do have the other thyroid symptoms- weight gain even when I'm dieting, random pains, heavy hair loss and change in texture, cold extremities at times- all the fun stuff. And no, I don't think I'm being exposed to any chemicals. I did go vegan in october though and thus had to use more soy products than before, so maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know.
And don't worry, I won't try to fly off a building :) I did waste some money I needed to dye my hair purple though.
I don't know, it made perfect sense at the time
Anyways, thank you for putting a smile on my face, hope you're doing well!

[adel_ezz]

i think you better wait until you have your thyroid checked. Until then you can tell us how your pdoc came to the conclusion that you have BP. Did he write any meds.

N.B: in egypt pdocs tend to prescribe depakine chrono. perhaps this is the reason for your weight gain and hair loss and this is basically the 2 main side effects of depakine (sodium valproate). As to one in your family having it, no one yet knows why one has it, it may not hereditary, neither of trauma, etc... a mother with migrane (migraine) can induce it into her children, etc...

i am just warning you of depakine: it causes cyst in the ovaries, and i suspect you want to have children in the future. There are a lot of other medications
keep well.

[dinaali]

yes, you're right; I knew I should've waited for my thyroid check but I was feeling so miserable last night (early morning?) I just had to get it off my chest somehow. And the problem is, I can't talk to anyone in my life about any of this, they're giving me a hard enough time already.
Anyways, the doctor didn't tell me I have BP and I wasn't feeling down back then- I was acting kinda silly to be honest. I know about BP because I did some research on it four years ago when I was in school. Obviously, I'm nowhere near qualified to reach any conclusion but I just needed to see if someone can have similar- sudden- mood swings and still not have bipolar. Obviously, they can.
No, I'm not on any meds nor I have I ever been. But thanks for the warning.
have a nice day

[looloo141]

Maybe you have both? or a unipolar depression like you said..its a difficult question but I can understand that you are trying to find answers as waiting for blood results can drive you crazy!!
Speaking from my own experiences as a woman, with bipolar, I think that the thyroid gland and any hormone can cause a riot in your brain!! It kind of makes anything possible.
I was doing great for 3 years, no meds etc then poof! I came off the contraceptive pill and I have not been the same since! That was 4 years ago and I have had probably 30 episodes, rapid cycling, I've been high, low, mixed, and every other mood too!
I feel at 31 like I'm going through the menopause, I have tried going back on the pill and 2 days later had a depressive episode and told my kids I wanted them to leave!
Do not under estimate the power of hormones!!
I am on depakote and I have ovarian cysts too, I didnt know it was related to sodium valproate so thankyou adel_ezz for posting that!
Seriously I hope you get the answers you deserve I know how anxious it can make you, and how other people in your life think you're a hypochondriac or something LOL

Hugs xx

[dinaali]

yeah, they do think i'm doing this to myself or that i'm looking for attention or something. they keep telling me to take a walk or go to a club or something; they just don't understand that i don't have the motive OR the energy to do anything, not even stuff i used to enjoy before- everything's so dull right now.
Ok, that sounded whiny, sorry.
anyways, my test results came back- according to the lab everything's in the normal range except my THS (TSH?), it was 4.45, which is still considered normal but the guy said something about it being a "high" normal or something like that. i have no idea what that means. he did tell me that the doctor might not put me on any meds but i should go see him anyway. which i will, sometime next week when he gets back.
i'm not sure what to do if he tells me there's nothing wrong with my body- the only thing i'm sure of is that i'm not IMAGINING the physical symptoms. this is all so crazy.
anyways, hugs and kisses back to you, and forgive my whiny-ness :)

[dinaali]

gee, i can be so self-centered sometimes! i'm sorry to hear about your problems; i hope you're better now? aren't there any meds alternative to that stupid depakote? are ovarian cysts treatable?
best of luck!

[looloo141]

Hello again! Do not ever apologise to me about whining! I don't know if you know this but what you wrote is a symptom.. I'm talking about when you said you have no motivation or energy, even for things you used to enjoy.. this is a symptom of depression or bipolar depression, it certainly isn't whining or self centredness!

It sounds like your results are bordeline, some doctors will re test, others will do nothing. Its very difficult as mental health issues can make physical issues worse. All of my issues are blamed on Bp or my meds, it used to drive me crazy, but to some extent I have accepted that stressing made my hormones worse.

I think you're right to see the doctor again, just to make sure about your thyroid as I think you are desperate to find a cause for your symptoms, but be aware that anyone can have a mental illness, sometimes there isn't a cause..
once you have sorted the thyroid stuff I think you need a referral to a psychiatrist to find out what's going on once and for all.

Please keep posting here, we care x
Hugs x

[lindahand]

I was lucky that I was crazy enough that no one questioned whether or not I had something wrong ;)

More seriously though. Depression can cause some major physical symptoms like zapping your energy, causing aches and pains for no reason, and just feeling like you have the flu.

It is a fine line though because some symptoms need to get checked out medically so it is good you are going to go see your doctor. Proportionally more people with Bipolar also have Fibromyalgia so going to a rhuematologist if the pain still persists after getting treated for the depression may be in order.

It is hard to be patient waiting for the medical opinion of what is wrong. It takes time to wade through these waters. It can take up to 8 years to get a bipolar diagnosis. Many, if not most, people with type 2 bipolar are initially treated for depression.

I hope it is a thyroid issue and can be treated easily. If not there are a lot more medications out there than there used to be and lithium is still a wonder drug in many respects (it actually increases blood flow to the brain for instance) and its been around forever.

[dinaali]

first of all- looloo141, thank you for saying that. I kept telling myself that I should stop posting and bothering everyone because no one really cares and I'm all alone anyway (part of the depression mentality, I know, but I still let it get the best of me).

I knew the lack of motivation was a symptom of depression, but I didn't know about the energy part. But anyways, I do have other symptoms of hypothyroid (I sat down yesterday and wrote a whole page of my symptoms) so yes, maybe I am borderline.

I'm hoping it's just a thyroid issue, too, because I don't think I can deal with mental illness. I can't go to a psychiatrist or something like that because 1- I wouldn't know where to go and who to trust in this country, we're still suffering from a 30 year-old corruption in all aspects of life. And 2- I'll get stigmatized and alienated by my family and friends. I’ve already alienated most of them because of my terrible mood.

My family has seen me act out in the past, e.g. for no reason other than pure undirected rage, I once locked myself inside my closet in the dark and wrecked it and screamed at no one in particular for HOURS (funny how things like that come back to me now) and they just had a good laugh about it, thinking it was just another thing teenagers do. And these past couple of days I was so irritated that yesterday I yelled at my father because he casually asked me how I was doing, and now he won't talk to me. Understandable, yes, but I wish he'd realize that when I tell him I couldn't help it and that I really didn’t mean to, he'd actually believe me. Even with the Asperger's "issue"- only my mom knows- she was like "look, I was awkward like you when I was younger. You're just imagining things, there's nothing wrong with you, stop being a baby and go out more". And that's coming from someone who knows for a fact that I can't control some of my behavior.

So, yeah. I know I might need professional help if my thyroid turns out to be fine somehow, but I don’t think I can get it, or get the support I need from the people around me. I've been having some scary thoughts lately, at it really feels like I'm losing my mind, but at least venting it out here helps.
So, thanks for participating and sharing with me, everyone, it really means a lot to me. :)

[looloo141]

The worst thing is feeling the way you do, no matter what the cause is! a name doesn't take anything away, some people like to know what the illness is, in a knowledge is power way, but some people use it as a excuse when its just a reason, which is sad really. Other people like yourself find it difficult when labels are mentioned, its scary stuff, because there are so many people out there that create these false "stigma's" It's especially so hard for you as you are so young! such a pressure! I wouldn't like to go back to my teens and early twenties.. I see what you mean about the Goth girl thing, I wouldn't like people to pity me for my illness either..but trust me, you certainly aren't weird, and one day you will believe me! All of this crazy confusion will become clear, you will understand it's not your fault, I was a very difficult teenager in my Mums eyes, I was "over emotional, too sensitive, ungrateful, a disappointment, and a shame to the family " but I think now they see differently, they don't understand where my empathy came from, and my tenderness to my kids, I am the one people call in a crisis..and you will be the same, I used to wonder in why I was here, what was the point of me being born? and now I believe that I'm here to help others.
It takes a special person to experience the things we do, the mind states, the crazyness, its our purpose, to help others, but you can only do that if you've truly been to the depths of despair...
Good luck hun, everything will be okay
HUGS X

[dinaali]

(did this thread just get shorter or is that my imagination?) anyway:
It's like you went in to my mind and said everything I've been feeling! And as for your teen years, they sound a lot like mine were!
I don't know if that's my purpose (sometimes I doubt that I DO have one), but I hope I can someday chase this "tornado" out of my life like you did and help others, too. Maybe that really is the point of all this, after all.
I'm in a relatively good mood now so I'm gonna believe you when you say that everything will be ok :)
-- for the record, I think everybody else is weird and I was just born on the wrong planet, that's all :) --

[lindahand]

It isn't a replacement for medication but may help a little is taking omega 3 fish oil. Take double the recommended dose on the bottle. There is one study, although not a great one methodology wise, that showed high doses of omega 3 oils can help reduce depression. And the upside is it can't hurt you. It is also good for the heart.

And you will be amazed at what you can deal with when you have to. If it is mental illness than at least you know what you are dealing with. Maybe your medical doctor would be willing to treat you if you are comfortable with them.

The worst thing is feeling how you do - no matter the cause. Just keep moving. Try each moment of each day to just get to the next moment. I don't know about thyroid issues but if it is depression it will not last forever. It just feels that way. Everyone but a very very very rare few will eventually cycle out of depression.

[dinaali]

but I did get rid of the depression!! I don't know what I did but I've been feeling great since yesterday!!
yeah, I don't know about fish oil- I'm strictly vegan- but thanks for the advice. If the depression strikes again- which I doubt- then maybe I'll consider it :)
I really don't think there's anything wrong with me except my thyroid, I know it, because one of its symptoms is depression. No one can feel this good and call it a bad thing! I know I sound like I'm manic or hypo or something- but I'm not. I'm just glad the depression's gone, that's all!
I'll tell the doctor- if he EVER gets around to calling me back, pfft- about the mood swings, just in case.
Thanks :)