Just a word Clutter, a bit of a vent......

[solipsist]

I have always been too proud to to admit how horribly I have truly felt. This weekend was Manic Manic Manic. Now of course I have completely freaked myself out and unable to leave the house. I just think it is so interesting how it is so easy to sabotage all relationships; lovers, friends, jobs, mere acquaintances, sometimes even family. If there was a world record, I would certainly hold it. I am basically just typing to vent a bit. Give my family a rest. Since Sunday, I have latched onto my mother's ear as if it were a teat and I was a baby pig. My actions do speak louder than words, when I am on my manics, it is as though I have no regard for others and the reality I create is so warped. I understand my ups and downs. Right now I am trying to rationalize that ending it all or packing up my car and disappearing is plain silly. It is a broken record. I am forcing myself out tonight.

[LetaB]

  I so get you. You are among humans who have felt, do feel, and will feel this way again. I vascilate between feelings of humiliation over my embarrassing behavior during my flaming fits of passion and the desire to trade the deep depression I normally feel to do it all over again. Good luck.

[ILADVOCATE]

Loss of judgment can be part of mania. Try to think back when this started and if it has continued to occur more regularly than before and speak to your psychiatirst about it and they could advise you what to do from there.

[zzzmykids]

It is our desire to run.  We get that we wear people out.  When it is family we want to run to start over.  I can't have any more kids, I am too old. lol...So I will stay, BUT the overwhelming urge to say, "Love me, Love me, Love me."  "Don't you love me?" is overwhelming at times.
I am rarely high manic but usually grumpy manic and mainly not at all just depressed.
Yes, pull away from the teat little piggy and see your psychiatrist and your talk therapist.
Thanks for ranting, lots of us understand where you are and hope soon you will be on your human feet instead of becoming bacon. Laughter fools the brain into thinking it needs to send endorphines out.

[solipsist]

To reply your question ILADVOCATE, I have had the loss of judgment issue for a long time, it all started really perking up when I turned 18 -19. People just thought I was loopy, fun of the party, ect... Then it started to escalate, to where it wasn't so fun. Some of my friends were wary to hang out with me, no knowing what they'd get.  I heard that some of them had named "my other personality".  I do have a question though, is memory loss apart of the condition as well?