I've been rapid cycling lately and it ***** and I don' t even know what to do anymore...One hour I am in high heavens overly sexual with some unknown guy the next hours I am depressed cutting suicidal...Its really kicking my a** for real. Right now I am sitting in my dorm and I am not really sure if I even want to be alive...I have a razor and for about an hour now I have been thinking about cutting my wrist and I didn't know where else to go to get support or advice or something...Maybe I will call the suicide hotline but then again why I don't even feel like talking for real..its taking a lot just to right this...why should I even be here anyway why not just use the razor...I am just a waste of a 22 year old...a waste of space...a waste of someones money...that's it...I'm just a selfish b*tch and the mood swings aren't helping and I just want to quit...
I just needed to write...sorry I wasted a post on the forum for my bull **** maybe I should have just wrote in my journal or not wrote at all...
Before you use the razor remember that only 6% of people who do actually die so your chances of ending your life this way are slim. You have counselors at your college - have you contacted them? What are the resources there at your school? They must have some.
Of COURSE you're not wasting forum space with something as important as this! Don't be silly - do you think they'll run out of room? You are young and in college - I'm so jealous! I had to quit when I got pregnant and I'll always regret it. The world is your oyster, child. You had better call that suicide help line because I believe your situation implies that your problems are much more in your mind than in actuallity. You need counseling and meds, sweetie. Reach out.
First call your dr. there are meds you can take until you get back to your confort zone.Mania and depression flip flopping will burn up brain cells.Call a friend that knows about your illness and make a contract with that person that you won't hurt yourself or any one else. Hang in there it will pass but not without intervention perhaps.Be Blessed
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