I had recently posted a question about Mania and Hypersexuality on here but no one really responded. Am i the only one who suffers with this symptom which i dont think that is true. Those who do suffer with this how are you able to control your urges. I keep myself locked up in my room just so i dont do anything stupid or crazy its like i become very promiscious and then i feel dirty afterward with full of regret. I hate men with a passon. the reason for this was explain in a previous post. and this is around the time it really seems to get worst, and so is my migraines and all the other symptoms i have right now. The heat from the warm weather and my hot flashes isnt helping anything. do any of you have any suggestions?
I have always had the compulsion to have sex when manic. A drive so strong it over rides any I have. I have also had issues with guilt, depression, and detachment. I want the sex but as soon as it happens I feel like ****. I am seeing many of the same traits in all of use. Their truly is a pattern to some of the behaviors. Sadly the cure is unique to each person.
That of course is a very simplified version of the problem...
I also suffer from hypersexuality. I understand exactly what you are going through.
I am really struggling with learning how to cope with this. If you learn anything new let me know because I am about to go insane.....
How do you deal with your urges ? I just really don't know what to do anymore.
It's not like my husband is with me all the time and I have sexual urges even when I am by myself....It is like a never ending circle.....HELP!!!!!!! LOL
I stay in my house thats how i can control it somewhat.:) believe me i truly understand what u are going through. but atleast u can get it unlike me even though its not as often as when are mania like. i have no one. and usually i will turned to a one night stand but i am trying not to go that route, thats when i can become promiscuous. on my own when there is no mania men are not apart of me i do not want them, nor do i find them attratctive but when my hypersexuality hit, that is what i want more. isnt that crazy i dont understand it. why do i want sex from the one sex i cant tolerate (men)??
I think that a LARGE number of people on this site have the exact same thing/urges/thoughts/behaviors etc that you do and the few that have responded do but the whole "SEX" thing is quite a "touchy" subject - pardon the pun! LOL It's really easy to discuss the depression and the spending and the rage and the delusions and such that are a part of Bi Polar but you start asking about the big "S" and people will clam up in a heart beat! It's all so Fruedian! It's kinda funny! Sexuality is another form of expression and it's a natural part of human nature. We are put on this earth to reproduce. If not, the human race would cease to exist. (We could stand for some people to STOP reproducing so much at the moment but that's another discussion altogether!) We got lucky that it feels good, too! In general, it is my opinion that most people are really uncomfortable with their own sexuality to begin with so throw almost uncontrollable urges to have sex (sometimes mixed with peculiar and bizarre acts) on top of those insecurities and you got shame, guilt, embarrasment.....the stuff of a psychoanalysts dreams! Well, I'm not afraid of it...I have periods of mania and usually its that pure, euphoric mania that includes hypersexuality where I want to have sex with anything that moves! Almost everyone looks good! Now, I still have a discerning eye and even in that state, I'm kinda picky but if push comes to shove - I could end up with what I might consider in a more level state a very sorrid person! And I don't really care about the other person! It's like a game to me. Cat and mouse! It's thrilling and fun and it can last for hours or days. The problem??? I'm married! Now - I've been very lucky and not given into these urges with other men and if I did have them well - I had hubby around to quench them. (There was this one time but we won't go into that cause like I said - I'm married) So, I guess you can see where some people wouldn't want to really get into a deep confessional discussion about their true feelings concerning their manic hypersexuality????
In relation to you and the man thing and not likin' em except when you are manic....well, I don't know your story so I can't really comment but there is more there than meets the eye so you might want to take a deeper look...
Keep It Simple!
you know what now that you put it like that it is understandable why people havent been responding the way i expected them too. The sex subject is touchy. at that point of time when i made this post i wasnt even thinking about it and i thought is was something only i was experiencing which i see now i am not.
And me about liking men i have no idea why is that my social worker are trying to figure out if i went through something through childhood that might have been pushed back in my mind. my mother who i am very close to i have spoken with her and she told me no and i know she is telling the truth. and me personally i dont remember anything and i use to have a good memory. but i will try to work on that. i am trying to find a way to try and talk to my father about his family since i was around them mainly when my mother had to go to work but she later removed them from me when they was treating me badly. but TMI sorry for rambling. Next week i am going to try acupuncture for my migraines maybe my head would be clearer then.
I am 62 and suffered with hypersexuality all my life. I was sexually abused as a child and I was told as an adult that if the abuse was pleasurable then you would be promiscious and if painful, frigid. I wanted sex to fill up that empty spot inside me an it never happened. Finally after about age 40 on I felt so disgusted with myself I didn't want to be touched. I take antidepressants and I call that a chemical neutering because it takes away the desire. I have also used a vibrator in the past but that felt emptier than having sex. I now have a 17 year old bipolar granddaughter that I have raised and she is hypersexual and we are having a horrible time. I came up in the 60s, so everyone was doing it but she has done things and we live in a small community and she now has a "bad" reputation. I feel so lost because I can't do anything to help her. Her psychiatrist says that she needs to be in a hospital because that is a behavior problem. Right!! She is on Effexor but it has not helped her that much. Managing her moods helps some but she is a rapid mooder and she is hard to control. She has had 2 serious suicide attempts this year. She has been hospitalized 4 times this year. Nothing has helped.
I am perhaps "hypersexual" but have not found it to be too negative in my life. Anyway I was diagnosed for years as severely deoressed and it wasn't until I was prescribed a high dose of Effexor that the manic side of me reared it's fun and crazy head. I was acting high as a kite for the first time in my life! If your granddaughter has been diagnosed B.P. why is she on Effexor? Is she on anything else besides? It sounds to me that she is in far greater need of a mood stabilizing drug. I question whether she is getting the best treatment and suggest that you take her some where else for a second opinion.
I am new to this but I had thought I was just an incredible flirt and then go and give my husband a good seeing too, Once I stayed up all night with his friend while my husband was asleep upstairs, we talked until 5am in the morning mainly about sex and then I just had to go upstairs and wake my husband up. Mine is quite mild I think, I do flirt terribly when hypo and flash and do some, I have had to excersise great control in the past but thankfully I have never been unfaithful although it has come close sometimes, when I cant get it I find alot of mine is seeing things like a sausage a great turn on. Here some honesty for you, but I would say I speak about it, think about it and flirt terribly most of the time.
I am incredibly grateful to those that opened up to my question. It felt like I was the only one. Like Tinker, I too feel empty inside even after my encounters. I am trying so hard to control it. Then I am able too, then it will start up with thoughts , then adult movies and then the need then I get it then I am in that depressed mode again. Its like I am leading a double life because no one knows about that part of me.
Youre not alone trust me, im hypersexual and its challenging sometimes to control it and stay faithfull. Masturbation works well and its healthy as well, my psychologist and I have discussed this and she thinks its not a problem unless it moves to compulsion; she commented that its actually a useful relaxtion and stress release tool which she has advised to numerous male and female clients.
Hypersxeuality gets a bad rap because people asume that it means you are addicted to sex or a serial adulterer or some sort of pervert, the reality is what we all know. This is compounded by many psychiatrists and doctors - I know of psychiatrists who point blank refuse to admit this even exists despite it being codified - it seems anyone over 50 who has a medical degree is prone to making stupid judgments like this though not just over 50's.
Every time I think society has moved beyond stop it or you will go blind or that masturbation is dirty I come across someone who is so screwed up from a childhood filled with it that it makes me realise we havent changed - true story I have a very good friend who is perfectly sane and totally frigid. Shes very attractive and has a great personality but her mother so twisted her head as a child that she cannot enjoy sex no matter what she tries - she cannot get past it being dirty no matter how hard she tries to the point where at 35 she just cannot deal with it at all.
Id rather be hypersexual thanks.
My doctors love drugs that lower sex drive - its considered a challenge by them as none of them ever have with me :)
There is no need to feel bad about being hypersexual, we just are and its part of us. Best advice for those feelings is get a pshychologist and talk about it and scratch the urge safely when you need to - the whole point is as long as no one is getting hurt (at least non consesually hurt just in case whips and chains are anyone's thing) then there is nothing wrong with it - its all perceptions from where I sit.
I am the same way. I found myself wanting to prowl out and find anyone to take out my frustrations on. I am single so it doesn't help matters. I am like you. I lock myself up in the house because I am afraid of having a couple of drinks and doing things I may regret.
And when I do fulfill my urge its never enough. and then I will find that one particular person (they think its a relationship, but its not tom me) to fulfill my needs for awhile but then they start to freel someway then its back to the drawing board. I am 28 and never been in a relationship or had a significant other. I just dont trust anyone nor I will ever fall in love. to me its just about sex and thats it. I say its the end to all sexual activity but i am not fooling anyone but myself. No matter how degrading and rotten I feel after the act. Like i stated before I dont like men in fact I thought I was into to females but that is not the case I dont want nothing to do with them either.
I guess it might be me but I never saw sex as dirty or degrading, I experimented when I was younger with a variety of things and people and never once saw any of that as wrong or bad either.
Then again I am male and perhaps there is a difference, certainly there is with multiple partners or promiscuity (the whole **** vs stud thing) in social mores but social mores bore me, they always have because of the rampant hypocrisy in society.
I would say that you need to find a way you can make sex accesible, it might be that what you need is anonymity in which case there are clubs who do that as well or like minded groups who wear masks; I know someone who does this because she has a problem with shyness and can let herself go when she doesnt know the person; or maybe some other exploratin.
The whole thing is you just should not beat yourself up about sex, I know there is more behind it for you in terms of past history and I have no doubt that colours this and affects you and who can blame you but you owe it to yourself to seek help to get past that - you cannot let a man rob you of that part of being a woman and a human being - thats giving someone else power and we have enough problems. Its like hating men, I see that as pointless because not all men hurt you - im a man, i didnt hurt you - hate the man not the sex.
Thats just me, I just think of hate as an unneccesary thing, negative emotions don't do anything though try telling that to me when im feeling depressed.
In my own way Im saying that its worth working to find the right answer and ultimately there is no reason to be ashamed to need and crave sex - as I already said as long as its consensual and safe there is nothing wrong with touching that urge - just make sure no one and most of all you gets hurt.
I know you will get there, I feel for you and can only imagine how you must feel about this, I have no reference point myself.
I never knew i was hypersexual till reading this post i havent even heard of hypersexual till i read this.
Since a young girl ive been terrible ive tried to sleep with friends and slepted with a ex partners best friend and im always interested in girls when im manic.
I have a bf now of 5 years and im also seeing a girl for the last 6 months they both know about each other ad i still found myself looking at other people in a sexual way.
I have no sex drive when im on meds no urges no feeling at all.
Im only like this when im manic
Promiscuity is a manic symptom, its not always hypersexuality which tends to be a constant but it can be.
The key thing is recognising that you feel that way so you can control it as much as you can or get help, like gambling and drinking and spending umm shagging is another addictive behaviour trait of the bipolar mind.
Why Monkey, from prior posts on this subject I never knew you felt that way. I'm afraid that I sounded like a ***** on another forum question when I said that my sensuality was the key to my satisfying sex life. I didn't mean that I'm prowling around town looking for pick ups. I think what's more amazing is that I was able to enjoy a hot sex life with my exhusband during years when he said that he did not love me. He stopped kissing me 5 years before that. I tried punishing him for a while by withholding it and realized that I was punishing myself as well! I'm a man in a woman's body is how I explain it. It's best if you can find a long term sex partner who has the same drive as yourself after all, we should have shared interests, right?
I have to say that I do not understand the "feeling dirty" afterwards. I used to be terribly self conscious and be rigidly modest (okay so I got over it) as a result of my upbringing by my Victorianly moraled mother and by my natural sensitivity and anxieties. I got hurt a few times. I was disappointed once or twice but if you enjoy the act why the recriminations? Therapy seems the answer to this sort of self defeating personality quirk.
The sexual urges which I get that are destructive or out of control go away when I take a mood stabilizer. The problem is so does my regular sex drive. I know the Parkinsonian conditions have lowered my sex drive because any medication I take that brings up dopamine will bring that back to normal (and unfortunately at higher doses causes hypersexuality). But certain mood stabilizers did before I acquired these various tardive conditions. Out of the mood stabilizers I've taken in the past though Lithium and Depakoate really dampened my sex drive (though remember I was on old line antipsychotics like Haldol then which really kill your sex drive). Lamictal was okay in that regard. The medication I am on now for dystonic spasms, Tenex which is also serving as a mood stabilizer in being related to Clonidine (used as a mood stabilizer but not often due to severe side effects, its an alpha blocker) has practically lowered my sex drive down to zero. That's not the worst part because I could have my neurologist change it (my psychiatrist was never happy with the Clonidine as a mood stabilizer and agreed to take me off he, he would concur) although for dystonic spasms there are not really many options left and as for mood stabilizers I've tried 30. The worst part is I don't miss it. I don't think its part of a psychiatric issue. I would believe considering that I as a child was a survivor of sexual abuse (and no one took it seriously then) sex is just something I can't handle and when it emerges its in destructive forms.
Although the bizzare dissociative states were neurological there was an element of mania involved (that "dysphoric mania" term sounded accurate to him when I spoke to my psychopharmocologist about it). So in terms of the Parkinsonianism and related dissociation I got my personality and identity back (alpha blockers have been shown to help on this). In terms of standard psychosis I've done well with the glycine as posted. But in terms of mood I went from hypomanic and somewhat grandiose to a bit flattened out so in that aspect its like the old days but as they develop new medications I'm always the first to try them so I'm optimistic on that. I'm not optimistic as regards sexuality and related issues because once you've undergone that experience even if you have no psychiatric disability it scars you for life.
Well I have to admit things aren't quite as bad as I put in that post. At times they are. When I feel depressed. I do believe as I had been concerned about that the Tenex I am taking is causing a personality alteration that has a "burnt out" type depression but then again its not primarily being used as a mood stabilizer. I will speak to my neurologist about that. But I feel that way when I am depressed in general. As well as the hypersexuality people described during mania (when I describe myself as "recovered" that applies to psychosis, I still haven't found the perfect mood stabilizer yet which must be taken in addition to the glycine, however when there is mania or depression I am fully aware of all its aspects coming on and can stop it). So I would ask everyone here who has bipolar especially if you are rapid cyclers. Do you lose interest in sex or does your sex drive go down during episodes of depression?
Another reason I have started to question whether I have B.P. or not is that the intensity of my sex drive is very steady. just before my period it goes lower but besides that I'm quite commonly randy. I am much more depressive in symptoms than anything else but I don't see that makes any difference regarding it. Of course when I've been suicidal I've only been thinking of one thing.
What are "destructive urges" pertaining to sex? Would these be nonconsensual ideations? Otherwise I can't imagine what you're referring to..
The answer would be yes although they were never acted on and really are something that I discuss with my psychiatrist only. But I get many urges to do things that are destructive overall when I'm psychotic which I have not been in a long time but in an episode of mania I lose judgment. I know when a manic episode is coming on and I will ride it out but its not very pleasent. The thoughts are of an obsessive nature in all areas not just sexual and it makes my life unpleasent. When a person has schizoaffective, regardless of how effective the antipsychotic (and glycine and the glutamate antagonists are proving very effective overall) they need a mood stabilizer as well. The only exception is Clozaril. With that a person often doesn't need a mood stabilizer. I myself didn't need one when I was on it. But it basically killed my sex drive and personality overall though until new medications are released for some people it is a good option although for the years I was on it I felt half alive and spent most of my time sleeping but I know that it has kept some people from acting on suicidal ideations and the like and has helped them indeed.
I have a girlfriend and we both have issues let's say but we respect each other's boundaries as well and have known each other almost ten years and hopefully things will continue in that vein although for a variety of reasons, including some I detailed and would not detail further we will not get married but we are highly emotionally supportive of each other.
I hate to muddy the waters here but you mentioned feeling blah on Depakote, right? I've been taking it for three weeks (along with lithium) and I feel bloated (I know it's partly water because of the symptoms), FAT, and listless. For the first time I do feel a damper on my sexuality as well. Don't you feel I've given it a long enough shot and can call my doctor now in good conscience and ask for a med changing apt.? I want to try Lamactil because it doesn't have these side effects.
My pdoc was concerned about my impulsivity earlier in treatment, because I've dated 4 women since last January. I told her, look I haven't dated in over 2 years, so I was enjoying myself, and it wasn't except one, casual sex. I told her I wasn't getting any younger ;) I miss the company of women, so I told her it didn't all have to do with sex. My best friend is even concerned, and said that I shouldn't date until I'm totally stable, geez, that could be a decade! But then a couple of women who've been interested in me, changed their minds when I told them I was BP. Since I've been off SSRI's I actually have a libido, I feel more alive then I have in 15 yrs in that respect. Being single I would be a bit more erm sexual, I'm always very safe and discerning with whom I sleep with. (these days, my 20's were a different story)
Well as for Lithium and Depakoate I'll take a quote from my psychopharmocologist that comes from clinically accurate sources "Lamictal is the least likely out of the mood stabilizers to cause cognitive confusion". Of course people have occassionally run into that but I didn't. The same as regards sexual side effects and it didn't cause sexual side effects for me. I was getting them at the time but that was because of the antipsychotics I was on which do cause those, although the atypicals clearly much less than the typicals (Haldol and the older ones were heavily likely to cause prolactin elevation which resulted in a decreased libido, the atypicals from Risperdal onwards far less so) to cause that. You are on Lithium and Depakoate together and although its a highly effective combination, with both together if you are experiencing decreased libido and some cognitive side effects that's not surprising.
As for Lamictal sure its worth asking about and I don't see why your psychiatrist wouldn't try it but because of the slow titration rate by FDA regulations it would have to be raised at the rate of 25 mg. per week and 150 mg. is the starting effective dose so it would take at least a month and half and probably more before it could reach a targeted effective dose. Then your psychiatrist would gradually titrate you off the other medications. So if he does agree for you to go on Lamictal that's how it will occur and you will feel slogged from all the medications together as I did but at the end you may get a better side effect profile overall. Certainly worth asking about as unlike when I started it in 1998, Lamictal is now FDA approved as a first line mood stabilizer in the U.S.
Well it has a fairly strong side effect profile but each person reacts differently to each medication. Lithium, Depakoate and Lamictal are the mainstay of psychiatric treatment. Some of the lesser used mood stabilizers (Keppra, Trileptal) can cause personality alterations for some people and some that are hardly used at all such as Clonidine have a high risk of that (all this from personal experience as well). But there are also promising new experimental mood stabilizers that since they are approved medications but used off label might well have promising results (such as Lovaza which is an anti-cholesterol medication which is basically a synthetic version of fish oil). Lamictal has a relatively "clean" profile as regards cognitive confusion and sexual side effects.
As for the next generation antipsychotics in development the glutamate antagonists given that they do not cause prolactin elevation they would be likely not to cause sexual side effects for anyone (and so far not in the studies). I know glycine does not cause any sexual side effects for me and that I am recovering well from chronic prostatitis (in treatment with saw palmetto) and don't have repeat urinary tract infections as I did before, from the past use of anti-cholinergics that were neccessary. So it seems promising with new mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics in development that sexual side effects will be a thing of the past.
I recently posted this samw question here because I'm really struggling as well...even with mood stabalizers (Lamictal). I guess we just need to keep playing with the right amount.
One thing I wanted to mention that I thought was interesting was from one of the pdocs. She said that ther is a relatively easy way to destinguish between sexual addiction and hypersexuality. She said sexual addiction is when it is always on your mind in some for or fashion...the desire is just always there. Hypersexuality occurs only when you are in a mania or depressed state.
I definitely think that hypersexuality is an "indicator", at least for me, of the onset of a manic phase. I went manic back in October of 2007, and stayed that way through March of 2008, when I finally realized that something was definitely WRONG. I was extremely hypersexual, and had several partners. Of course, this did not end well for me, but when I realized what was happening, I immediately told my pdoc, and we added a mood stabilizer to the mix of medications. Given the results of that period of my life, I am extremely wary of sex now.... I find that when I have the urge, masturbation works well, but doesn't exactly fill the need to be touched by someone else, even if they didn't mean anything to me anyway......I find it hard to reconcile, quite honestly. I can't get over the feeling that I'm loose, or easy....it puts a damper on the sexual urges for sure, but at the same time, being celibate is a different route for me, and it working...thank god, no serious health problems have resulted, because as I said, I was definitely not careful, didn't use protection. Ended up being tested for every STD known to man, just to reassure myself that I didn't catch anything, which, thankfully, I did not. It's scary to look back on that time now, because I could have very easily been hurt..... So, no, it's not unusual, but it can be problematic, especially if certain precautions are not taken....
I would agree but as I said certain issues that I have, but have not acted on, come on with psychotic thoughts which I am basically free from now. However, as a person with schizoaffective disorder I need a mood stabilizer to balance out the antipsychotic. Hypersexuality can come on with mania but sexual addiction is, from what I can see a form of self medication. And sometimes they overlap. A co-worker where I worked at one place would continually access explicit photos of herself on (common social networking site before they banned this activity) at the workplace and called her friends all day to look them up.
She did end up on a mood stabilizer and a lot of her workplace inappropriate behavior including roleplay with a co-worker stopped but the computer issue did not. She was warned about it but she would hide it but it was clearly an obsession. But from what she had indicated she had been abused as a child and had a poor self image so her promiscuity was part of both hypersexualiity and sexual addiction.
Consenting adult and safe sex are obvious limits but to me what defines destructive is if you don't feel good about it and/or wake up in the morning feeling used. But that applies to any behavior. If it is consenting adult and safe sex and a person doesn't really feel its wrong but its the morality they grew up in that's one thing but sometimes you just think about something and feel "this is not healthy" and its an instinct. Its the difference between playing the lotto once in a while and gambling all your savings so to speak.
Well when I go through my posts I see how I presented myself when I was adjusting to a mood stabilizer (although the Tenex was prescribed for another purpose, it is a mood stabilizer). Writing 3 paragraph missives lol and varying from an agitated mixed state to dysphoric mania. I can see for myself that I was tempted to disclose aspects of my life I should not and that shows lack of good judgment, something that we all experience and is the root of hypersexuality in mania.
Actually N.Y.C. as well though less so than in the past but not a good place to be in a manic state of mind lol. Seriously though its just a matter of controlling judgment. That applies to anything not just sex and lack of judgment is the first thing to go in mania. 42nd Street in N.Y.C. in the old days was not a good place to be when manic. Forgetting sexual exploits I remember when I was manic doing stuff like spending $100 on cd's all at once. I guess you could take the same thing and apply it to what I did in other areas as well. Not the place to describe. I think we all have to be judicious because its not just the site but this is a public forum so its no place to post your personal business but something one is tempted to do when manic.
Gee, I hope I don't get timid now, reading that you've been subjected to criticism by the MedHelp machine, GeorgiaAnnie.
The climate I live in here in the north of North America seems to reflect the passions of the majority of its inhabitants. I can't tell you the stares, leers, whispers and accusations I've been subjected to because of the way I "look, act, laugh, dance, speak" you name it since I've moved here 10 years ago. There's a feeling of living in another century here or in another country. I'm from California and maybe that's my problem.
Since this is what goes on with people with bipolar shouldnt we be able to express what is happening to us. Because this is what we go through and it can possible help others that dont quite know just yet or give them a better understanding. I am not saying to get to graphic but just enough to well you know :)
As this is heading off topic and people seem to be thinking this is unwarranted censorship I think there is a clarification needed to pull things up - the post in question was pretty much seeking sexual partners.
There is a line guys and manic or not expressing ourselves or not this is not a place for that as much as it makes us smile - for one thing when you come off the mania do you want to see how you felt portrayed for all time.
Yes helpful discussion but lets always be mindful of what helpful is OK.
Well then in that case it belonged on a different site then. There are plenty of places to discuss these things online. One thing that's a rule with the internet (I know its hard to acheive nowadays, with people networking 24/7) is don't surf while manic. I know some government workplaces will want to see what your posting history is online and that form of examination may trickle down to regular businesses. Also let's remember that family members and friends we discuss can read what we post as well so if we discuss them (which may be very reasonable if they are undergoing or the cause of a crisis). I know for myself that I have to think before I e-mail sometimes as well. One time I was about to send a long missive to a friend when I was manic and a part of my mind that was recovered said "no" (I may have said it aloud) and I closed the whole e-mail.
I had brought up the topic with a few people but I see no reason to start a specific thread on us being careful who can read what we post but its something essential to keep in mind. I don't think I've posted anything inappropriate here and on other sites the same (except for maybe a couple of music reviews years ago before recovery on a standard music site that were done as pranks and I deleted them but that was way before recovery and no harm came of them) but to my horror the Wikipedia entry I did on glycine (summarized from clinical sources and in no manner reccomending it and with the approval of my provider) had someone on a site call it up and say they were giving it to their son for Tourrette's (which its not even in study for) with a "naturopath" so I had to sign up to tell them not to (although people were doing that before I even started it, I've signed up to sites to stop them).
But back to topic and on a not on a too explicit note before my current relationship, I was on an internet dating site for people with a psychiatric disability. I then started e-mailing with this woman and she said she had a blog but it "was too personal for me to read". The difference between an online blog and a personal journal is night and day. Anyone can read it. And as well I've seen mean spirited people lift entries from mental health sites for their own amusement. So if you think things could happen with other people reading it in public, confine it to pm's. And that's my last word on this side note. Thanks.
You know I was thinking about exactly what you are talking about. Especially about family or friends. Not necessarily co workers though because I use a completely different alias with them. Online I make sure I am protected to the fully extent posstible. I actually am more concerned about family and the few friends I do have finding out about my disorder and what comes with it (my mother and my sister knows and a few others that I care for and trust). The image i project to them is the image I want them to know. When I am online with you guys i seem more comfortable about disucssing some of the things about me because you know what i am going through. I am not going to tell everything because everything does not need to be told and I feel I might have done more than any of you. Because we all have similar episodes. And it may be because I am behind the computer and you can not see me therefore i may or may not be judge. Unlike my personal life. Which I am often withdrawn and distant and some might say strange especially from other on the outside, because I do things differently then them as well as my personality I am not a person that trust others that well.
That makes perfect sense. I've always disclosed wherever I went but then again I always worked in disability rights organizations where it was safe to. As for family and friends they all know but for some of the older family members they don't know details but they visited me at the psych. hospital before recovery and helped out so they know enough. Now that I'm homebound due to a physical disability so I do most of my networking and advocacy online and someone can easily match up all the results so even though people don't know who I am I have to have a public persona online that's as clear as my private life. The difference is before recovery I'd start telling people I didn't know about my psychiatric disability and specifics. It was clearly manic and inappropriate. However, as regards any disability I have, I'd say now I'd tell anyone who asked. But my friends and family are open minded and not everyone's are and the workplace environment is so hostile these days in the corporate world you have to be on your toes every minute from people I know who've worked in it. My psychiatric disability is something I discuss as appropriate but my physical disability has a Medicalert pendant and if anyone asked I'd tell them and when I have seeing how I look with it and the fact that it appears psychiatric puts them more at ease. But as I say to each their own and the circumstances vary.
Can I add to this thread and ask a question? I'm hypersexual as well and married. How does your spouse or sinifigant other handle this aspect of your disorder?
If you have gone out side the marriage for physical or close emotional connections whenin a hypomanic or depressed state, what do they do? what if this has happened a couple times over the last ten years?
What if the situation is that you feel so disgusted with yourself and your actions afterwards that it puts you into a suicidal state...how are they suppose to deal with that?
What if you are so ashamed, disgusted with your self, that you can not interact physically with your spouse/significant other with out feeling the guilt...what are they to do?
What if you've tried marriage counseling before you were diagnosed with BP (or even after) and you are so trying to deal with your BP problems..and this issue obviously bleeds into that...that you know you are not helping your partner...what are they to do?
What if you raised very religiously and religion is still a big part of your spouses life...but you can't "feel" it anymore because you are so ashamed...and in the relious world you are condemmed...so you can't even forgive yourself (cycle, cycle, cycle). What is your partner to do?
I agree with some of the suggestions...locking myself away sounds perfect...problem is i have the key to let myself out, and then there'e the internet.
I know, a lot of what if's...just just curious about others feeling in regards to how their partners have reacted.
my boyfriend is bipolar and he has really severe hypersexuality, we came up with a 1-10 scale and he tells me what number he feels, usually we can work on it if it's below like an eight, anything above that is too strong for him to control (even though we try). we have tried: distraction by talking about other things, doing math problems (he's really good at math so i thought that one would help), walking to a different location and a lot of other stuff but really the only thing that helps is for him to lay really still and not move, and that only helps if it is below an eight. does anyone else find a correlation between episodes of psychosis and hypersexuality? i usually find that he will have an episode of psychosis and then hypersexuality within two days of each other.
I am married and was just diagnosed last week with bpd. I have similar living situation I believe as BeeKeeper ( although honestly I will have to go back to re-read I think I scanned it a bit fast)...but Anywaaays my main thing is I guess its called sexting, which at one time I really got into and my husband found out. I realized that was wrong so I guess I think flirting isnt as bad so I do that still but not as much, (the flirting isnt in person but is on a real-time computer game) and at the times I cant help it and sometimes can't remember doing it or I guess saying it the way my husband says I have said things.....and it makes me feel mad at myself mostly and also mad aT My husband for not letting me flirt. ( ya i know crazy right? )
Masturbation has mostly been my outlet when I just have to release, except lately even that upsets my husband so I just feel like I am in a covered locked cage and I'm a Hummingbird not a tiger or a lion!!! Does that even make sense? eeeek and now you all know I'm a dork because I said eeeek !!! @.@
In my 20's I'd jump on anyone who wasn't nailed down...very experimental with few boundaries. Since my 30s, I go in cycles...long periods without any need for sex of any kind and then peoiods of excessive sexual activity.
I read most of the comments with interest and identified with many of the problems discussed. Then wen to MedHelp to search for hypersexuality and there is nothing. Apparently it doesn't exist. Speaks volumes about the medical profession's ignorance and denial. Sex is still very much a taboo subject. Thank Christianity for that. It's the most powerful urge in nature and yet is denied or treated as dirty and perverse. I don't want to join some promiscuity society and can't be bothered chasing after women. Bring on the replicants we can dial up with a tv remote and get rid of asap afterwards. Like the character in "Grease" said about sex with women, 'What do you do with them for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes.' Relationships are overrated Something we have been uncultured to believe necessary. Thank goodness for erotica and porn.
I have paranoid schizophrenia and five weeks ago I was weaned off my main antipsychotic amisulpride. As soon as I was clear of it I've been hooking up with guys all the time and I've NEVER been one for that. I don't feel guilty or ashamed after, I just move on to the next one. This doesn't feel like my normal behaviour, but I can't bear to bring it up with my CPN or psychiatrist. Oh, and the voices and paranoia are worse. I don't feel that normal. Less medicated and more alert, but the hypersexuality is very strange to me. What do I do about it? Is it wrong?
I am in the same boat as you, and I'm married. I have always been an incredible flirt. I think it is a part of who I am, but it is heightened by the BP II. I am on a mood stabilizer, which has helped immensely. I no longer shamelessly flirt with anyone remotely attractive with a pulse (both men and women). I am usually able to control it, except for the porn. Which I look at in secret...but right now there is a person to fixate on and things are not looking too good for me right now. It's something about having the time and space to interact away from people who know me with this man that is making it so hard to resist. I should have seen this coming from the first time I met him, and it has only gotten worse b/c he's very interested. In my head I'm not playing around like I usually do. The hypersexuality never came up during therapy, and now I am just way too ashamed to go back and talk about it. (Plus I'm unraveled so far that I have reached the point where I don't think that I can stop. I'm already planning.) This is the worst that it has ever been. I get it. I am fighting right along with you.
I have Type II BPD and before being treated, I would have these long dry spells where I wouldn't have any sex whatsoever (probably part of the self-inflicted seclusion I would put myself under during the lows) and then, during my manic phases, I would sleep around a lot (at least one person a day for about a week) and masturbate about two or three times a day on top of that. You really can get a lot done without accomplishing anything when you're manic :P I knew it was excessive but as a young gay male, I was surrounded by hypersexuality (the definition of normal varies between most gay and straight circles) and just figured I was in a higher echelon- not too over the top) Where I started to run into problems was that I found that the dormant intimacy that came with my prolonged lows really messed up my relationships. I could redirect being promiscuous and just wear my partner out, but you can't fake arousal and desire for extended periods of time. I never stopped loving my partner but there were months at a time where I didn't want to have sex or even masturbate at all. Near the end of an extended low phase during a relationship, I even avoided cuddling next to him in bed because that could lead to sex. Of course, I would still try and get it on regularly for our relationship's sake but it felt like I was going through the motions. I loved him and I would just work my way through it hoping that somewhere in the middle of it I would be doing it because I wanted to have sex for all those good reasons that people do who have- not just because of the strain it was causing our relationship.
I guess it makes sense. We are not likely meant to have sex all the time. I was like that with my wife but I made myself do it anyway. In most of my experiences when the intensity of the sex (in the beginning) was extreme, it usually lost it's luster if a relationship followed the connection.
I have not studied (on myself or through reading) the sexual behaviors and consequences of being bipolar. I do know that when I am manic I crave it more and when I am depressed I crave it as well but not nearly as often or with as much intensity.
I am a 52 yo female who has never had a high libido but when put on meds for BP any urges disappeared. Poor old hubby had to be satisfied with once every few years!! Earlier this year I became hypersexual and I thought it was just I had come off a contraceptive med. But then I realised that I was over the top (literally) and I knew I was just been using him. One time I felt like I had had spanish fly or something because of my appetite. Then I had to go back on the contraceptive for other reasons and realised it had been manis and poor old hubby has nothing to look forward to as interest on my side is gone, gone, gone. Hope this is not too frank and racy.
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