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Avatar universal

Mania and Hypersexuality

I had recently posted a question about Mania and Hypersexuality on here but no one really responded. Am i the only one who suffers with this symptom which i dont think that is true. Those who do suffer with this how are you able to control your urges. I keep myself locked up in my room just so i dont do anything stupid or crazy its like i become very promiscious and then i feel dirty afterward with full of regret. I hate men with a passon. the reason for this was explain in a previous post.  and this is around the time it really seems to get worst, and so is my migraines and all the other symptoms i have right now. The heat from the warm weather and my hot flashes isnt helping anything. do any of you have any suggestions?
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Avatar universal
I am a 52 yo female who has never had a high libido but when put on meds for BP any urges disappeared. Poor old hubby had to be satisfied with once every few years!! Earlier this year I became hypersexual and I thought it was just I had come off a contraceptive med. But then I realised that I was over the top (literally) and I knew I was just been using him. One time I felt like I had had spanish fly or something because of my appetite. Then I had to go back on the contraceptive for other reasons and realised it had been manis and poor old hubby has nothing to look forward to as interest on my side is gone, gone, gone. Hope this is not too frank and racy.
Helpful - 0
1551327 tn?1514045867
I guess it makes sense.  We are not likely meant to have sex all the time.  I was like that with my wife but I made myself do it anyway.  In most of my experiences when the intensity of the sex (in the beginning) was extreme, it usually lost it's luster if a relationship followed the connection.
I have not studied (on myself or through reading) the sexual behaviors and consequences of being bipolar.  I do know that when I am manic I crave it more and when I am depressed I crave it as well but not nearly as often or with as much intensity.
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Avatar universal
I have Type II BPD and before being treated, I would have these long dry spells where I wouldn't have any sex whatsoever (probably part of the self-inflicted seclusion I would put myself under during the lows) and then, during my manic phases, I would sleep around a lot (at least one person a day for about a week) and masturbate about two or three times a day on top of that. You really can get a lot done without accomplishing anything when you're manic :P I knew it was excessive but as a young gay male, I was surrounded by hypersexuality (the definition of normal varies between most gay and straight circles) and just figured I was in a higher echelon- not too over the top) Where I started to run into problems was that I found that the dormant intimacy that came with my prolonged lows really messed up my relationships. I could redirect being promiscuous and just wear my partner out, but you can't fake arousal and desire for extended periods of time. I never stopped loving my partner but there were months at a time where I didn't want to have sex or even masturbate at all. Near the end of an extended low phase during a relationship, I even avoided cuddling next to him in bed because that could lead to sex. Of course, I would still try and get it on regularly for our relationship's sake but it felt like I was going through the motions. I loved him and I would just work my way through it hoping that somewhere in the middle of it I would be doing it because I wanted to have sex for all those good reasons that people do who have- not just because of the strain it was causing our relationship.
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Avatar universal
I am in the same boat as you, and I'm married.  I have always been an incredible flirt.  I think it is a part of who I am, but it is heightened by the BP II.  I am on a mood stabilizer, which has helped immensely.  I no longer shamelessly flirt with anyone remotely attractive with a pulse (both men and women).  I am usually able to control it, except for the porn.  Which I look at in secret...but right now there is a person to fixate on and things are not looking too good for me right now.  It's something about having the time and space to interact away from people who know me with this man that is making it so hard to resist.  I should have seen this coming from the first time I met him, and it has only gotten worse b/c he's very interested.  In my head I'm not playing around like I usually do.  The hypersexuality never came up during therapy, and now I am just way too ashamed to go back and talk about it.  (Plus I'm unraveled so far that I have reached the point where I don't think that I can stop.  I'm already planning.)  This is the worst that it has ever been.  I get it.  I am fighting right along with you.
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Avatar universal
I have paranoid schizophrenia and five weeks ago I was weaned off my main antipsychotic amisulpride. As soon as I was clear of it I've been hooking up with guys all the time and I've NEVER been one for that. I don't feel guilty or ashamed after, I just move on to the next one. This doesn't feel like my normal behaviour, but I can't bear to bring it up with my CPN or psychiatrist. Oh, and the voices and paranoia are worse. I don't feel that normal. Less medicated and more alert, but the hypersexuality is very strange to me. What do I do about it? Is it wrong?
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Avatar universal
I read most of the comments with interest and identified with many of the problems discussed. Then wen to MedHelp to search for hypersexuality and there is nothing. Apparently it doesn't exist. Speaks volumes about the medical profession's ignorance and denial. Sex is still very much a taboo subject. Thank Christianity for that. It's the most powerful urge in nature and yet is denied or treated as dirty and perverse. I don't want to join some promiscuity society and can't be bothered chasing after women. Bring on the replicants we can dial up with a tv remote and get rid of asap afterwards. Like the character in "Grease" said about sex with women, 'What do you do with them for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes.' Relationships are overrated Something we have been uncultured to believe necessary. Thank goodness for erotica and porn.    
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Avatar universal
I took depakote and gained 50 lbs in 6 months. It makes u crave salt. As soon as I switched I lost some of the weight
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1255505 tn?1272819115
In my 20's I'd jump on anyone who wasn't nailed down...very experimental with few boundaries. Since my 30s, I go in cycles...long periods without any need for sex of any kind and then peoiods of excessive sexual activity.
Helpful - 0
1468669 tn?1286509758
I am married and was just diagnosed last week with bpd.  I have similar living situation I believe as BeeKeeper ( although honestly I will have to go back to re-read I think I scanned it a bit fast)...but Anywaaays my main thing is I guess its called sexting, which at one time I really got into and my husband found out.  I realized that was wrong so I guess I think flirting isnt as bad so I do that still but not as much, (the flirting isnt in person but is on a real-time computer game)  and at the times I cant help it and sometimes can't remember doing it or I guess saying it the way my husband says I have said things.....and it makes me feel mad at myself mostly and also mad aT My husband for not letting me flirt. ( ya i know crazy right? )
Masturbation has mostly been my outlet when I just have to release, except lately even that upsets my husband so I just feel like I am in a covered locked cage and I'm a Hummingbird not a tiger or a lion!!! Does that even make sense? eeeek and now you all know I'm a dork because I said eeeek !!! @.@
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Avatar universal
my boyfriend is bipolar and he has really severe hypersexuality, we came up with a 1-10 scale and he tells me what number he feels, usually we can work on it if it's below like an eight, anything above that is too strong for him to control (even though we try).  we have tried: distraction by talking about other things, doing math problems (he's really good at math so i thought that one would help), walking to a different location and a lot of other stuff but really the only thing that helps is for him to lay really still and not move, and that only helps if it is below an eight.  does anyone else find a correlation between episodes of psychosis and hypersexuality?  i usually find that he will have an episode of psychosis and then hypersexuality within two days of each other.  
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672839 tn?1305792947
like what you said about having the key to unhide yourself.
I don't tell my partner.  Have come to accept my need for sex.
Just glad this drive comes and goes.
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202665 tn?1248806733
Can I add to this thread and ask a question?  I'm hypersexual as well and married.  How does your spouse or sinifigant other handle this aspect of your disorder?

If you have gone out side the marriage for physical or close emotional connections whenin a hypomanic or depressed state, what do they do?  what if this has happened a couple times over the last ten years?

What if the situation is that you feel so disgusted with yourself and your actions afterwards that it puts you into a suicidal state...how are they suppose to deal with that?

What if you are so ashamed, disgusted with your self, that you can not interact physically with your spouse/significant other with out feeling the guilt...what are they to do?

What if you've tried marriage counseling before you were diagnosed with BP (or even after) and you are so trying to deal with your BP problems..and this issue obviously bleeds into that...that you know you are not helping your partner...what are they to do?

What if you raised very religiously and religion is still a big part of your spouses life...but you can't "feel" it anymore because you are so ashamed...and in the relious world you are condemmed...so you can't even forgive yourself (cycle, cycle, cycle).  What is your partner to do?

I agree with some of the suggestions...locking myself away sounds perfect...problem is i have the key to let myself out, and then there'e the internet.

I know, a lot of what if's...just just curious about others feeling in regards to how their partners have reacted.
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for sharing you information with me. It was very helpful
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585414 tn?1288941302
That makes perfect sense. I've always disclosed wherever I went but then again I always worked in disability rights organizations where it was safe to. As for family and friends they all know but for some of the older family members they don't know details but they visited me at the psych. hospital before recovery and helped out so they know enough. Now that I'm homebound due to a physical disability so I do most of my networking and advocacy online and someone can easily match up all the results so even though people don't know who I am I have to have a public persona online that's as clear as my private life. The difference is before recovery I'd start telling people I didn't know about my psychiatric disability and specifics. It was clearly manic and inappropriate. However, as regards any disability I have, I'd say now I'd tell anyone who asked. But my friends and family are open minded and not everyone's are and the workplace environment is so hostile these days in the corporate world you have to be on your toes every minute from people I know who've worked in it. My psychiatric disability is something I discuss as appropriate but my physical disability has a Medicalert pendant and if anyone asked I'd tell them and when I have seeing how I look with it and the fact that it appears psychiatric puts them more at ease. But as I say to each their own and the circumstances vary.
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Avatar universal
You know I was thinking about exactly what you are talking about. Especially about family or friends. Not necessarily co workers though because I use a completely different alias with them.  Online I make sure I am protected to the fully extent posstible. I actually am more concerned about family and the few friends I do have finding out about my disorder and what comes with it (my mother and my sister knows and a few others that I care for and trust). The image i project to them is the image I want them to know. When I am online with you guys i seem more comfortable about disucssing some of the things about me because you know what i am going through. I am not going to tell everything because everything does not need to be told and I feel I might have done more than any of you. Because we all have similar episodes.  And it may be because I am behind the computer and you can not see me therefore i may or may not be judge. Unlike my personal life. Which I am often withdrawn and distant and some might say strange especially from other on the outside, because I do things differently then them as well as my personality I am not a person that trust others that well.  

I am so sorry for rambling.
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585414 tn?1288941302
Well then in that case it belonged on a different site then. There are plenty of places to discuss these things online. One thing that's a rule with the internet (I know its hard to acheive nowadays, with people networking 24/7) is don't surf while manic. I know some government workplaces will want to see what your posting history is online and that form of examination may trickle down to regular businesses. Also let's remember that family members and friends we discuss can read what we post as well so if we discuss them (which may be very reasonable if they are undergoing or the cause of a crisis). I know for myself that I have to think before I e-mail sometimes as well. One time I was about to send a long missive to a friend when I was manic and a part of my mind that was recovered said "no" (I may have said it aloud) and I closed the whole e-mail.
  I had brought up the topic with a few people but I see no reason to start a specific thread on us being careful who can read what we post but its something essential to keep in mind. I don't think I've posted anything inappropriate here and on other sites the same (except for maybe a couple of music reviews years ago before recovery on a standard music site that were done as pranks and I deleted them but that was way before recovery and no harm came of them) but to my horror the Wikipedia entry I did on glycine (summarized from clinical sources and in no manner reccomending it and with the approval of my provider) had someone on a site call it up and say they were giving it to their son for Tourrette's (which its not even in study for) with a "naturopath" so I had to sign up to tell them not to (although people were doing that before I even started it, I've signed up to sites to stop them).
  But back to topic and on a not on a too explicit note before my current relationship, I was on an internet dating site for people with a psychiatric disability. I then started e-mailing with this woman and she said she had a blog but it "was too personal for me to read". The difference between an online blog and a personal journal is night and day. Anyone can read it. And as well I've seen mean spirited people lift entries from mental health sites for their own amusement. So if you think things could happen with other people reading it in public, confine it to pm's. And that's my last word on this side note. Thanks.  
Helpful - 0
607502 tn?1288247540
As this is heading off topic and people seem to be thinking this is unwarranted censorship I think there is a clarification needed to pull things up - the post in question was pretty much seeking sexual partners.

There is a line guys and manic or not expressing ourselves or not this is not a place for that as much as it makes us smile - for one thing when you come off the mania do you want to see how you felt portrayed for all time.

Yes helpful discussion but lets always be mindful of what helpful is OK.  
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Avatar universal
Since this is what goes on with people with bipolar shouldnt we be able to express what is happening to us. Because this is what we go through and it can possible help others that dont quite know just yet or give them a better understanding. I am not saying to get to graphic but just enough to well you know :)
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505907 tn?1258369340
  Gee, I hope I don't get timid now, reading that you've been subjected to criticism by the MedHelp machine, GeorgiaAnnie.
  The climate I live in here in the north of North America seems to reflect the passions of the majority of its inhabitants. I can't tell you the stares, leers, whispers and accusations I've been subjected to because of the way I "look, act, laugh, dance, speak" you name it since I've moved here 10 years ago. There's a feeling of living in another century here or in another country. I'm from California and maybe that's my problem.
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607502 tn?1288247540
Indeed, inviting and funny as posting sexually suggestive stuff might be there are people here who take things the wrong way and the site rules are fairly clear on it.  

I doubt anyone was offended just jumped on it to stop it getting out of control.

We see a lot of things posted when manic that do not last long - ive written posts myself and then backed away from the post comment button on a re-read thinking I might need to take a time out :)
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Avatar universal
I agree, I live in NY this is not the place to be when manic LOL.
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585414 tn?1288941302
Actually N.Y.C. as well though less so than in the past but not a good place to be in a manic state of mind lol. Seriously though its just a matter of controlling judgment. That applies to anything not just sex and lack of judgment is the first thing to go in mania. 42nd Street in N.Y.C. in the old days was not a good place to be when manic. Forgetting sexual exploits I remember when I was manic doing stuff like spending $100 on cd's all at once. I guess you could take the same thing and apply it to what I did in other areas as well. Not the place to describe. I think we all have to be judicious because its not just the site but this is a public forum so its no place to post your personal business but something one is tempted to do when manic.
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Avatar universal
Ah for God sake, ha ha, that post was one in a while that bought me a smile!

It should have been left on.  Are we only interested in misery (no randiness allowed !!)  Why not??

You would want to move to Austria, they all have sex here and it is OK to be sexual!

Ha Ha
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607502 tn?1288247540
Umm GeorgiaAnnie it wasnt so much indiscrete as umm.. inviting  ;)

We all get that way sometimes mind.
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