Okay its easy to tell when your depressed.. cutting yourself to ribbons, drinking, shutting yourself away, wanting to kill yourself etc etc etc.. its pretty similar for everyone
But i really want to know how i can prove to my psychaitrist when ive been manic and how the hell i can justify it.. because its something that is very very different for each person. She usually basically implies because i dont sleep around and dont gamble and go on shopping sprees that i cant be manic and it just feels like she doesnt really have a ******* clue at times.. >_<
Right now I know my affect is somewhat up because its the last day of the Clonidine patch but when I change it things will stabilize. Its been hard to concentrate and my thoughts can't focus. However, if I weren't on that new medication that is working as a mood stabilizer that I just started by this day I'd be having racing thoughts and could not focus at all. I can only say that the best way to monitor yourself daily is keep a mood tracker and then print out the results for your psychiatrist and they can see what is going on.
As you say its personal, for me I have only sufferred true mania twice i think, the rest of the time its been hypomania. I know im in trouble when I become aware of my mind, when im ok the day just happens, when I become hypomanic I start to become aware of my thoughts, I have so many I cant concentrate to people speaking to me, I also tell strangers personal info that I would not discuss, I talk over people because I cant wait to spit out what I want to say, I have sexual urges I dont have when im ok etc.. ect.. I do spend money and the rest of it, as you say its personal, I found it handy to write down what I was experiencing as it happened as when you are on the spot sometimes its hard to remember especially as I have a short term memory problem. Take Care Hell
Whenever I wake up and I'm wondering if my mood is higher than normal I try to ask myself "I know I'm manic when..."
I spend all my money. I go on random trips. I sleep around. I do drugs and drink. I speak louder, faster, or just a lot more. I make a lot of strange plans. I think I have weird abilities (last time I thought I was immune to all sleeping pills and took all I could find to try and prove it to someone). Etc..
Try it I suppose, ask yourself how you know you're manic, write it down, and shove it in your doctors face. Well, maybe don't shove, but make sure they actually read it and think about it instead of just dismissing it as someone being a hypochondriac (mine did that for awhile).
Well for me I know I am because I become extreemly irritable and easily frustrated. It feels like my insides are trying to claw through my outsides. My thoughts race 1000 miles an hour. I just want to talk and talk. I can't do simple things like spell correctly or even dial phone numbers without doing multiple tries. (I'm thinking I've said a lot of this before.) I can't concentrate. I sometimes have tremors and my heart feels like it is racing.
I tend to pace more and fidget. Sometimes I clean, but only when my anxiety is also really high. I get a lot of plans in my head like doing great things with my life like being famous or inventing a product that will make me rich. Or going back to school and doing all the things I never got to do with my life. Of course, none of these things are realistic.
Like you I do not have the gambling, sexual urges, or spending sprees. I agree you should keep a record. Maybe keep a journal along with your mood tracker and explain as best you can what you are feeling while it is happening. That's the only thing I can think of.
Generally mania will be kind of a steady driving force, you will have much more energy. You'll probably want to stay up late. When I was hypomanic I was spending money but not like my whole savings, but without thought to what I would need to live off of, many normal people do this, that is what keeps people in collection agencies employed. I also was super horny and started having sex with multiple partners, was drinking a lot. I thought I was really dangerous, sexy, and hardcore. When I walked down the street I felt like I was famous. I didn't really want to sleep much. I thought that I was finally figuring something out, like I was on the brink of self discovery. I wanted to run through the streets shouting "World here I come, watch out for me!!" Everyone's manic feeling is different. You may not want to go on shopping sprees, have lots of sex, but you will definitely feel somesort of constant drive, and people that know you well might notice it.
That is pretty much bang on what mine is like but im also a hell of a lot more sociable and party all the time when im stuck in it. Its just explaining it to the doctors is hard because they pick the little bits apart and question them all and i never know what to say because its always because of different things and its damn annoying how they make out i have to justify and prove all of it to them =/
They dont believe i get manic then they dont believe i get depressed and suicidal even though theyve had prior ******* proof! Theyre basically like just because your shutting yourself away drinking, cutting, not speaking to anyone your not depressed and its like oh really? and they just come back with oh yes you just need to not drink and not lock yourself away. Like woah **** me that easy huh? theyre so ******* oblivious and have no ******* idea what it ******* feels like!!
For me, mania is racing thoughts, fast speech, anxiety(because I know I am manic and am afraid of what is going to happen), spending(especially on ebay) and general restlessness. I do not sleep around, I go not gamble, I do not go on spending sprees at stores. I also sleep(less but I do sleep) but I am nevertheless manic. There are many kinds of mania and you need to list what your signs are for your dr and do research on the web about it.
Well, for me I just showed up at my doctor's for a visit and he hit on one of my triggers and I was weeping and shaking. He looked at me and said, "Hmmm, you seem depressed." No? Really? I've known that since I was 12! Well, he had me tested and all for both due to my history and things I told him. I do believe I have a very good doctor. He actually listens to what I have to say and then tries to figure it out. I think finding the right doctor for you is key.
they go by the text witch is wrong..cuz my pdoc toild me ur ver manina....by just watching my every move,,and the taking so fast...not everyone can stay up on 22 hrs aday..and spend monney they dont have or etc...but when you bipolar theres about a unlimited ceiling on the actions on how you react...some people like myself hold it in till you blow up..FIND ANOTHER PDOC...
Well, I don't gamble, go on shopping spree, run around sexually and I'm always well groomed. I have a stable marriage and we brought up two kids. I was a stay at home mom because I could juggle work and home responsiblities at the same time. I think that's why people around me don't believe have bp. I don't have the classic symptoms. I do think I have bp2 because I don't hallucinate or lose contact with reality.
But it's the same old story when I have to go into the working world. I get really wound up when my mania starts in especially if its face a fast pace environment which runs for really long durations. The company demands you work overtime which effects my sleep patterns. I have to be careful how long I can stay in the pressure cooker work setting or things start to go hay wire. I work okay in the beginning but I get so wrapped up what I'm doing I'll go OCD on the job. Co-workers think this is fine because I'm doing a pretty good job but they're puzzled when I lose my focus and get overwhelmed by all the task I have to do. It's like a circuit board being overloaded with too much information....I just get overstimulated.
Then the crash happens. It's very humilating because you can't work like the normal people do.
"Well for me I know I am because I become extreemly irritable and easily frustrated. It feels like my insides are trying to claw through my outsides. My thoughts race 1000 miles an hour. I just want to talk and talk. I can't do simple things like spell correctly or even dial phone numbers without doing multiple tries. (I'm thinking I've said a lot of this before.) I can't concentrate. I sometimes have tremors and my heart feels like it is racing.
I tend to pace more and fidget."
You just described me! If I don't catch myself and realize that I'm in the red flag zone I'll venture into the mania lane, I start talking up a storm and I can feel my mind racing with many thoughts. Motor agitation is in full gear. I feel like I'm top of the world just feeling good because I feel so alert. If I continue to ignore the red flags then the mania turns ugly by being very irritable, short temper and I get very paranoid. What goes up....must come down...the depressive state which feels like I'm carrying around lead weight everywhere!
I do believe if bp is not treated it just get worst. This recent episode of being a mixed state was a real wake up call to me. I haven't felt like that since I was in my twenties.
Well, I don't know but I feel like I have gotten worse in the past 3 years or so. I used to have a much better hold on things. But also I went through a pretty bad trauma and I think that really did some major damage to my psychological core. I'm still trying to recover, I think. I was never treated previously. I tried to get help, but it just never worked out.
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