Manic = Happiness. True?

  Does manic equal happiness in any way? I don't know where I picked up this idea. I'm guessing that I deduced that if we were "bipolar" it meant two extremes and since my most often emotion is sad - depression - then the opposite feeling would be a positive one. See my point? It's just that spending sprees, mad sexual escapades, urges to go megacleaning don't really fit me - ever. For the first time in....a VERY long time I am high as a kite because I took one of my son's stronger Adderalls. I can feel this sea change come over me and , you know what? It feels goooood. This means I'm productive, more optomistic, less lazy, more self confident, funnier, more creative. So, where's the down side? We all have these symptoms in very different portions and take all kind of different amounts and sorts of medications to achieve a better result for ourselves. Couldn't it be possible that, although I am BP, I exhibit depressed symptoms nearly all the time (along with racing thoughts and poor memory, true) and that mania for me might be closer to "normal" people's median? I sure think so.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Its neccessary to only take medication prescribed for you. If your psychiatrist prescribed Adderal and you need it for adhd that's fine. If not take caution some people misuse it for a recreational high and it can impair judgment even if that's not why you took it. Mania is not a form of happiness. A person has racing thoughts and a low frustration tolerance and they can't focus on things. Aspects of it such as euphoria and elation seem like happiness at the time but they aren't. Basically the part of the mind that controls emotions is overactive in the same way when a person is depressed its activity is abnormally low. One of the extreme downsides of mania is the impaired judgment it causes and sometimes you can only see that after.
  "Normal" is hard to define. Everyone is different. But a person undergoing a hypomanic state may or may not fit in but a person with full blown mania will be noticed. Either way, the best feeling is when a person's moods are stabilized. I did enjoy the days when I was manic in the past but when I look back I think of all the time and money and wasted and things I did with the poor judgment that goes along with being manic and I frankly wish I could reclaim those days and be stable but since I can't I just look ahead to it not occuring again.

[bernie40]

I understand exactly where you're coming from Leta as I am also more towards the depressive end of the spectrum.

From what I've been told, I understand that mania can be relative and so yes, your high may well be someone elses "normal".  Your "normal" could be another persons low etc etc.

We only really get to hear about the mania's where behaviour is extreme and although this is sadly very common for a lot of folk with BP it isn't the entire story.  Mania can also be exhibited as extreme anger.  I could probably think of more examples but I am falling over with tiredness and going to bed.  

Happy to look into it more if you'd like.

[bastet56]

As you will soon find out, there is a low that follows any high, not to mention the fallout from the high like the money you spent that you cannot afford to have spent, the things you may have said that were inappropriate, the things you might have done that you will be ashamed of while high. I fear the highs in many ways more than the lows. Donot take your son's meds. It cheats him out of meds HE needs and will lead to trouble including addiction on your part. You can talk to your dr about stimulants if you are that down and your dr deems it necessary, but I warn you the high only last for a couple of days at the most then your system adjusts and you will function without the high.

[zzzmykids]

I mainly remain in the pit. But there is something that happens when I see my chiropractor on a regular basis and he adjusts me.
He says I feel happy because he has opened my spine and more blood flows to the brain with oxygen.
When I was seeing him once a week due to an accident, I felt good two days in a row afterwards.
Now I see him every six weeks but the same thing happens.  I feel happy.
For you and all of us who live in the depths of the pit of darkness and pain, a day of happiness is unusual and we question, Oh no am I going manic?  Is this mania?
For me most of my manias are anger, writing skits, poems and when the kids don't live here cleaning the entire home, laundry and making from scratch dinners.
What ever it is LetaB, I am hoping it feels good, refreshing and nonworrisome.
Same something nice about yourself today,
zzzmykids

[LetaB]

   Ahem. Did you even READ my question? I am NOT spending money wildly (I don't have any), calling people up and blubbering, telling strangers my life story, jumping people's bones, etc. Sure I say things I'm sorry for (and write them here) all the time - and almost ALL the time I'm highly depressed so what's your point?
  I want to admit that your comment about not acting in my son's best interest really TWEAKED me! I know I did not explain but I have been prescribbed Adderall (adderrall) for over 10 years. Recently I ran out due to losing my psychologist. My son is painfully thin and it is a catch 22 to give him these meds which kill his appetite so he never takes them on week ends. I took one of THOSE pills. I know about the lows. It dumps me right back where I was  - which is where I ALWAYS am which is my point!
  Thanks everyone for your opinions. You are, as usual, a wealth of information and I appreciate it.

[ILADVOCATE]

I'm still concerned. And you know I don't judge people. If you don't have a psychiatrist right now perhaps I could locate a referral line for you. I would follow up through though. I could say exactly what I see wrong but I am not there to pry into people's lives and if I did (offsite) then it was just because I was not doing well then. But think of speaking to someone. I would start there.

[jst4shanell]

What comes up, will come down.  I think that if you are always low then what the heck.  You and I both know that's it's not smart.  That's stating the obvious.  I know I will get a lot of crud for this but you are a grown adult and you know the consequences so do what you want.  and have fun.  I don't personally because i'm always on the manic side of things.  Trust me, I have tried.

[LetaB]

  Exactly....I guess. I can't tell if you are really for me or agin me on this. Mania is felt differently by all of us. Your mania may exhibit angry or embarrassing symtoms (symptoms) that mine does not. We are not identical here. I don't know the consequences actually. I think I was like this for most of my life - until something happened to me. Now I've been completely depressed for 5 years. Before I was innocent and didn't know I was ill. Now..... I really don't see how I'll be made worse than what I was before it came. I feel like a new woman! If this is temporary - I'm sure it is - and I fall to pieces later what the heck? Will I figure out the gas mileage to where I want to ---, tell people I love them, test the waters....that's my norm anyway - at least for a VERY long time.

  So then you would say that manic is NOT always fun, right? How else does it feel to you?

[ILADVOCATE]

My best suggestion is to follow up with the Mood Tracker and see how your judgment is in general. Speak to family and friends you trust. And if you have some rare form of bipolar as the other post discussed that's hard to treat and you haven't responded well to common treatment you could see a mood disorders specialist. Keep track of what's going on regardless for your own sake as well as others. Hypomania does give feelings of elation or euphoria that are enjoyable but once they become full blown mania then all judgment is gone and I say that having experienced that before recovery and perhaps when I was off the Clonidine as well.

[jst4shanell]

When i'm hypomanic, it's bliss.  When I become manic, I become psychotic and hallucinate.  You know, the works.  It's not fun and it's quite embarrassing after.  Being on Adderall (adderrall) and feeling great is to be expected.  I did not pick up in your statement that you were manic.  Adderall (adderrall) is legal speed.  We all know that.  Yes, it will give you hypomanic symptoms and can actually make you truly manic.  That's the danger.  Everyone is different when it comes to manic states.  I was referring more to using Adderall (adderrall).  

[farraway]

Does manic equal happiness in any way?
Of course! - we feel so great, so therefore we are happy - but only to our manic self.
Some BP people that I know yearn for this elusive time.
But the reality is the damage caused and I would think most BP's don't want to be there again because of this.

[bernie40]

Manic does not equal happy.

Mania is a heightened state, whether that be happiness, extravagance (sleeplessness or anger.  I've had the happy mania but I've also had the rage mania.  Some people will experience each of this symptoms within one manic phase, others will experience only one or two.

It is wrong to assume that mania means happy because that isn't the case for all.  You certainly don't feel happy when you're raging at your nearest and dearest for no reason, you don't feel happy when you can't "switch off" and go to sleep at night.  With extravagance then yes you do feel happy at the time so that could be in the "happy manic" group.

I'll also go back to the comment both Leta and I have made, that mania is relative to each and every individual regardless of whether it's happy or not.

Leta, I think your saying your taking the Adderal that would have been prescribed to you anyway if you hadn't been treated to badly by your psych.  It's not like your taking something that you've never had before.  I would however, go with ILADs suggestion of keeping a mood tracker just to make sure that the tablets don't send you into the "irrational judgement" phase.  

While you're feeling "up", sort out that new psych and then you can have the pills with your name tag on ;-)

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I don't think manic equals happiness just by the sheer fact that I never feel any improved mood whatsoever while manic.

[farraway]

You are right Bulldozer. (The operative word I omitted was "can").

I guess what I was trying to say is that being happy & high can be a false and artificial feeling. Sure, the positive is we feel good, but there are outweighing negatives. We see the personal and physical damage later - it's just not worth it.

[jst4shanell]

Being manic for me (I mean full blown) is a state of mind where no one else can even comprehend.  It starts out as the best thing in the world while, all the while you are making some really bad decisions and not knowing it.  I get so euphoric I tend to think i'm a brilliant genius who is the prettiest, smartest, funniest person on the planet.  Then sometimes I fly into a rage.  When I mean rage, I mean wanting to hurt rage.  Then I start hallucinating and i'm delusional and extememly paranoid.  It no longer is fun.  I irritably, irrational and out of my mind.  I will not listen to anyone when they tell me i'm sick.  I think they are out to get me.  I spend money like there's no tomorrow.  I become obssesed with random people for whatever reason.  Everyone is my worst enemy by then.  I have lost so many friends and said and done some really rotten things to my family.  Thank god I have never been arrested.  This usually goes on for months if I don't recieve help.

So to say that being manic for me is fun.....yes, at first.  It's the best.  But then it's just my personal nightmare and i'm so far out of it that I don't even know what i'm doing.  That's the scary part.  I am terrified of becoming manic.

Letab, i'm going to call you out on the Adderall (adderrall) thing.  You said you were feeling "high as a kite" on Adderall (adderrall).  Then you turned around when questioned and said they prescribe them to you for 10 years.  Adderall (adderrall) is used for ADD and ADHD.  It does not give you "high as kite" effects when you need the drugs.  It does the opposite.  Like someone with ADD or ADHD drinking a pot of coffee.  It would probably put them to sleep.

[LetaB]

  I am sorry you've had such an extreme rollar coaster ride with this disorder. I have said some cr@ppy things to a lot of people but I'm sorry as soon as it's out of my mouth - if I didn't really mean it.

My son's prescription for Adderall (adderrall) is 20 mg higher than my own. I have never been told I was not ADHD which was my original diagnosis 20 years ago. Perhaps it's a mix of dyslexia and BP. I don't know. Maybe I was/am not manic. I still do not understand the differences between hyomanic and manic. My own BP I would describe (as I've done before ) as a very even deeply depressed mixed state with an emphasis on rapid thoughts. what is that really? Yesterday I felt ALIVE! I have been virtually comotose - a prisoner in my own house - for a year at least. Fearful, anxious, humiliated. I looked at people in the eye yesterday. I walked in the sun. Why do some of you seem hostile about this?

And I DO think I'm pretty, funny, and smart - I am told I am often enough not too doubt there must be some truth in it. It's in more complicated ways I'm ugly and stupid - and I'm ALWAYS funny.

Oh, and I never hallucinate... I think. I am delusional about time though - years just mix together in my mind but that's constant for me.

Thanks for giving me your description of how it affect you. I'm taking notes.

[ILADVOCATE]

Please remember psychiatry is not an exact science to the point where there are exact gradations between hypomanic and manic. Hypomanic is a lesser form of mania but still of concern.They are just beginning to learn what is going on in the brain and its very real (as PET scans can show) but its not like knowing when a seizure went off (which is exact, they know what happenned exactly). Psychiatrists ask questions to determine a person's mental state and observe them.
  I'll provide some information and I'll explain it again if the terms are too clinical. Manic means a person's affect (moods) and thinking are speeded up. Depressed is easy to know. But as for mixed states I've already explained an agitated mixed state. Rapid cycling is a term you are familar with. When a person has an increased sense of perceptions to the point where their emotions are too extreme there is euphoria (which is what one experiences when they feel they "love the world" I have been through that as have many people) and dysphoria (where a person is speeded up but feels "dead to the world" very familiar to me, that's a mixture of mania and depression as well). Look up the terms on some of the sites posted. Only a psychiatrist could tell exactly what's going on but if you become more familiar with what bipolar is and discuss that with a psychiatrist perhaps you'll know better when things aren't going well.
  I would certainly advise you to stop the Adderall (adderrall). If you think you have adhd let a psychiatrist diagnose and treat that. Prescription medications are prescriptions for a reason.

[LetaB]

   Gee! How many times to I need to clarify this point - I have been diagnosed with ADHD for 20 years! I ran out of my prescription for Adderall (adderrall) a few eeks ago when I lost my Pdoc so I hadn't taken any for a while and my son's are a stronger dose than mine but otherwise the same. I stay depressed when I take Adderall (adderrall) but my brain speeds up and I feel more positive and get things done. I forget how they affect me until I take another so the effect yesterday was more pronounced. I am not in the habit of randomly taking pills are experimentation.

Thanks for all the information - some of which I didn't know.

[ILADVOCATE]

Then we understand. Just follow up with obtaining a referral to a new psychiatrist. I know you are a responsible person and would not self experiment but any medication use should be monitored by a psychiatrist. Try this for starters:
http://www.namihelps.org/

[jimgreg]

manic  is unique to each person..some feel  real good some are irritable or both..but its far better than being deppressed,until you do fall and fall hard and wonder what happend..this is why alot of people realize that something isint right..then they find out..alot of people wont take there meds to stay this way..but theres always that price at the end....

[ILADVOCATE]

I always found that as well. It wasn't so much how you felt when you were manic but how you felt when you looked back at what you had done. It was a long while back but most it I'd rather not post. I have to admit I enjoyed (way before recovery) some form of "I hate the world" kind of depression but that probably was some form of mixed state with mania in there. I think my psychiatrist at the time said it was "manic with psychotic underpinnings" and I was manic about that and joked "is that a review of the latest Quentin Tarantino movie" lol but when I look back he was spot on in his judgment. It did eat up a number of my years though sadly.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I have to agree with you on how it's more how you felt when you looked back on what you had done.  It's like OH BOY I SURE FEEL LIKE AN EMBARRASSED *** LOLOLOLOL or at least for me it is anyway.  I know it effects everyone differently.  It's unfortunate it ate up a number of your years but I guess the dawn is always darkest before the light... or day... or uh... however that saying goes.  [INSERT BETTER PROVERB HERE]