Me

[jennstuff]

I Suffer from bipolar n social anxiety,,I live a vary shelterd life,,Over the years i have shut out friends n family n 2 sons,,The uncomfertable feeling that i feel around pepole has controlled my life to the point that im all alone ,,I sit in my house day by day in fear,,,I come to this site everyday n read what everyonelse has to say about there lives,,n i allways want to reach out n talk to somone ,but its so hard,,,,,,,,,,I have sufferd my whole life n i dont want to suffer anymore,,,,but how do i make the panic go away,,its allways there,,,I dont know how to live my life because i have never been able to,,,

[Xila31]

I led a sheltered life for a couple of years several years ago. I had some contact with people but primarily through the internet. In fact, I've had several episodes of trying to lock myself away but there are usually things that force me out, such as school, etc. When I had to step up and get out and stand on my own feet it was really hard. I would much rather be hidding at home with my family, but now I have no choice but to go out every day and work for my family.

I still have trouble, like the person said about not going out to buy things, I have that problem. I have 2 gift cards to buy clothes and shoes that I got for my birthday. When I think about going to the store to buy them, I freeze up. I don't want people to see me and make comments about me. I get really nervous that I'm going to make a mistake and buy the wrong things. Or at work I have to make phone calls or answer the phone, every time I feel knots in my stomach. I get a lot of anxiety talking on the phone to most people, the only exception being my husband.

It sounds like your panic is very sever and only through therapy and possibly medication can you overcome it. I'm glad you reached out to us here. I think that is a good step! I think with anxiety there are things you can do to take your life back. It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

[elwoodsf]

I too live a sheltered life. I don't go out for fear of judgement, fear of doing something stupid in front of people (I'm a bit klutzy). On one of my outings I notice that I focus on the negative people. I made a decision that I am going to focus on the positive people. I also notice that when I smile at others they smile back. My fear of leaving the house is getting worse. I am not going back to work this year (education field) I work with over 1,000 students and staff. When I go in every nerve in my body explodes. The noise sets me off. I don't want my life to be this way, I didn't ask for it yet here it is. My phobia affects every aspect of my life, including my family who live in my house (hubby, kids). I need a new bra and I won't even go out to buy one!!!

I don't have any answers. I just wanted to share and let you know that you are not "alone". I'm online too and am here to listen anytime ~ EL

[opus88]

I also can identify, I live sheltered but not out of fear really...at least not of a panic type but possible more of a fear of judgement...I do go out but only when I have no other choices...I do really prefer solitude to a degree, but have to admit it does get lonely on occasion, its hard to watch happy people..happy families/couples.
There is probably medication you can take for the 'panic' associated with socializing and I hope u seek treatment for you're sake and you're families. I know theres no treatment for my self imposed lifestye. my biggest fear is at some stage and for what ever the reason..being forced into a "communal beehive" buzzing with people such as a nursing home...I think of that always and to me how death would be much more accepting(sorry don't mean to sound so morbid)
Just my thoughts tonight, guess that means I too get lonely
take care and try for help

[bastet56]

I live a sheltered life too. I know how you feel. Are you on any meds? Do you go to a dr regularly? If you could see a psychologist or therapist it would help you a great deal. Your kids need you and your love. You need to not live in fear. Please get some help. I am here if u need to talk.