My heart is breaking this morning

I just found out my 13 year old daughter has been cutting herself.Can someone please help me so i can help her.I believe she just started doing this.I want to help her ,i don't know what to say to her,i can't seem to say anything right to her!! Please help me!!Ilove my daughter!!
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[mixedsalad]

Get her to a doctor.

I don't know the pathology of cutting, but I would imagine that having and knowing there is someone who loves you unconditionally helps.

As hard as it is to "confront" a teenager in a situation like this, this is one of those times you must step in.  Lovingly and gently, unapologetically but empathetically.

When I was raising my kids I definitely regretted some times when I didn't step in gingerly and try to let them know more profoundly that they are loved.

Find a doctor immediately.  Get referrals.

[Anuket]

If you google "self harm" there's a lot of good general information. There is a national program called S.A.F.E. alternatives.  When researching Psychologists or other therapists, be sure to ask if they have experience with cutting and/or self harm.  You might want to look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  It can be particularly helpful for dealing with that type of issue. Best of luck to you and your daughter.  

[savdylthom]

It seems cutting is a trend among youth, I suppose I would suggest sending her to a theripist. But before that, sit her down and have an actual conversation with her about why she cuts. Also, you have seen them, so she is making them visible. Visibility is more of a cry for help than an actual intent to mutilate. So all she might want is a little more attention. Or something is going on at school.

[puddin50]

Thanks ,i will

[puddin50]

Thanks!!!

[puddin50]

Thank you,im trying to be calm and talk to her little at a time.I told her i would give her a week and i wanted to check her head to toe.Before i would make an appointment.Thank you so much!!

[lindahand]

Do not keep that promise, she'll find ways to hurt herself that you can't see such as pinching or inserting things like pencil lead into the skin. She needs to see a therapist that specializes in these types of things to get to the 'why' issue. and teach some better coping skills. Also be careful not to blame her, putting it back on her "I'll give you a week" isn't a fair thing to do really. It puts one hell of a lot of pressure on her. If she is cutting she is doing it for a reason. Unless you address the reason (anxiety, depression, etc.) she will find a release. Or if she doesn't find that release it may make her other symptoms of depression worse.

Your kid wants you to know - otherwise you wouldn't have found out. Kids are smart enough to hide something like this from their parents. She has given you an in and if you don't take it now while she is still in the learning stages of life, she may have to live with maladaptive behaviours for the rest of her life.

Good luck. Remember to tell her a lot that you love her, and reinforce the good when you see it. She needs to be more than her cutting.

[Anuket]

Very good advice from Lindahand.  

[puddin50]

Thank you ,,yes you were right.She was doing great and for some reason she has begun cutting once again.I did make her an appointment and she didn't complan just said i wasn;t going in.I just don't understand this,,,she has a good home, good parents  she is a pretty girl and smart but im sure its something todo with bulling or self estem. Thanks for your comment!