Okay, is anyone here Bipolar and struggle with substance abuse?

[tweekie]

Just want to know if I'm the only one here, and if a new forum should be started for people in my category.

[Xila31]

I don't, but I know it is common for people with bipolar.

I would say if you feel it is worth a whole board then to suggest it. Recently I made a suggestion of making a mood tracker, (or incorporate in the mood tracker,) more things for people with rapid cycling and mixed states and hypomania. For example, there is no racing thoughts or pressured speech options on the mood tracker. Also, I don't like the options of depressed, horrible, bad, fine, good, excellent, manic... they seem to vague. Maybe it is just me, but I feel I need to track as much as possible because it has been a real help to my doctor.

So I would request it.

[rBoulet]

I used to. I used to drink, smoke, smoke marijuana, snort cocaine, and take shrooms.
This is from when I was 14-16 and thankfully I've stopped since then. Although the urge to do it again is still there I know that more bad than good will ever come from going back into old habits like that.

[tweekie]

Yah, I have moods that I don't even understand, nor do the people around me. How bout  moods like, anxious, gloomy, nostalgic, paranoid, horny, obsessive, gloomy in a doomsday way, religious, haughty, rambunctious, bitchy, and industrious.

[ILADVOCATE]

Actually I have moodswings like that as well (although in my case some aspects of them might be neurological) and psychiatrist often classifies that as dysphoria. I found out some information about it here and I asked my psychopharmocologist and he said I definitely experienced dysphoria. As I've posted there are a variety of mixed states. An agitated mixed state is where a person has the speeded up quality of mania but the anger of depression. That is very common. Less common but not uncommon is dysphoric mania where a person is depressed but somehow obsessed with it in a manic quality. I didn't realize that I experienced this before recovery and certainly before I started medication very often. The photo I posted on my page of a photo taken at a cemetary when I was only 17 (a year before I started medication) was one of a series of photos. I was manic at the time but those particular photos were taken in a dysphoric phase. I always prefer when psychiatrists give full explanations as to what they are witnessing and specifically treating and if I asked if in a polite but appreciative manner I usually get specific answers and I find that helpful.

[opus88]

hi...my son is 38 and was dx'd with BP only 2 years ago........before that he was an alcohol and cocaine addict for 10 yrs...socially for abt half that time until it grabbed him hard.
His psych told him its common with BP people to self medicate and are very predisposed to addictions just for the reason that when in a low I guess you'll do almost anything to feel good, however the good feeling only lasts for a short time than the lows are even worse following a use....
thankfully he has kicked this habit hasn't used for 2 yrs now if only the BP would be as possible to control!!

[tweekie]

Thanks for your response.  My doctor believed I was bipolar before I even told him about the hypomanic episode. He said because of my family history, my history with substance abuse, and I suppose whatever was written in my chart that I fit more with bipolar disorder. I'm currently in an addiction mode, started about a year after my dx of bipolar disorder. I was clean for many years before that, but miserable, had many episodes of mood swings, suffered from repeated panic attacks and anxiety/depressive psychosis. Its a rocky road having to fight two battles daily, mental illness, and substance abuse and dependence.  I tried mood stabilizers, many times, and I always stop taking them. I have a history of non-compliance with meds and treatment.  Good luck to your son.  Atleast he is not putting harmful drugs into his body anymore. As a mother you must find that comforting.

[opus88]

oh yes I do find his sobriety very comforting!!! I sure sleep much better, but ur never really ever free not completely....its a fight everyday especially when stressed or very low...he does say the cravings do lessen...so hang in there tweekie and never stop trying.
He also had a history of stopping the mood stabilizers and antipsychotics when feeling better...than he had the notion he was 'cured' and no longer needed meds...I think he has learned his lesson there after a very 'bad' crash in June.
Same as an addict so to speak in that you are never really 'cured' it will be an uphill battle for the rest of ones life with many setbacks along the way.
What are you using tweetie? Are you getting help with your addiction?

[Xila31]

I hope you can find some help for your addictions. Being bipolar is hard enough as it is. With me, I don't "self medicate" because I think in some sick and twisted way I believe I deserve to be in pain. I know that sounds horrible, and it is, so it is very hard for me to ask for help. I'll just sit there and take it. So that is why I've gone so long without help.

Well, I hope you can get help because I hate to think of people out there hurting. I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you can get through it. Maybe there is a rehab or something you can do? I know rehab is expensive. Maybe a local church or something has a support group, though.

[corlenbelspar]

I have a real drinking problem myself... I calculated my Blood Alcohol Content from one night and it was 0.336.  I stopped drinking ever since I started antipsychotics and I'm glad I did but it's still really hard.  I go to a co-occuring group sometimes now but I don't understand how it's supposed to help because all the guy who runs it does is sits there and nods the whole time while you're talking and doesn't even bother telling you reasons why not to drink.  I think anyone could run the group honestly if they know how to nod their head and say yeah and ok.

[Twelvesgirl]

I had substance abuse problems for most of my life, since I was very, very young. I didn't know why I was the way I was, I didn't know why my parents would brush me off when I asked for help and  told them I was depressed. I didn't know why I was a doormat sometimes and real spitfire b*tch at others. I tried alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, none of those worked. So along with those I added a whole slew of other drugs. It didn't matter nothing helped, something kept raging, I was either angry and/or full of partying fun, or depressed and full of self-hate and thoughts of suicide for both. I took things into my own hands when I met a girl when I was in my early 20s who was BP and I realized I had a lot in common, I went to see a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed BP. I was put on meds. It didn't stick. I had problems going on and off meds also for another 6 years. Getting on meds and quitting everything for me was important. It just kept getting worse, every time, something different gets added into the mix, paranoia this time, next time without meds and therapy and a docs care, who knows what will happen, I won't mess it up this time. I've lost so much, and hurt so many people.

Anyways, I don't use drugs or alcohol as a crutch or a means to get away anymore, sometimes I wish I could. But I do know that it was a bad place, very dark, very dangerous, and I wouldn't know how dangerous if not for being sober. Also, it really messed with my moods even more, up down up down up down up down up down up down up down, you get the picture, this was pretty much everyday. Also, now that I'm older, and have quit for so long, if I drink, even a glass or two of wine I have the worlds worst hangover...that helps with the not drinking thing :)