Our son needs help desperately

[stormee]

This will be long, but I need you to know what is going on. Our son is bi-polar, and he needs help desperately. We first noticed he had a problem when he was 18 years old, but as I think back, even as a child he exhibited anxiety and fear. He also had some obsessive compulsive tendencies. When he was 18 he was out with friends and got into a fight. Shortly after that he went into a deep depression with suicidal thoughts. He is in his 30's now, so at that time we didn't know about bi-polar. I took him to the doctor and to see a phsychologist. He wasn't put on any meds. As time went on he would get his manic times and his lows. He met a nice girl who was patient and understanding. She did her best to help him. They married, but she had to have a hysterectomy which added to his depression because he wanted a child. They started their own business, and then his wife was diagnosed with aggressive Crohn's Disease. For a while she was in the hospital more than she was out. Our son stood by her even though the depression was sometimes unbearable. Because of her illness and his loss of work due to depression and absences, he lost his job. To make a long story short, they lost everything. The business, their home & their health insurance, therefore he was not able to continue getting the phsycological help he needed & could not affort his medication. I think he was on Zoloft. She is in remission now, but in continuous pain and on a lot of pain meds which he started to take a few years ago to thinking it would help with his depression. A couple of months ago he took some of her pain meds along with methadone and drank some Jack Daniels. Needless to say that was a bad combination. He became violent and ended up in jail and had to withdraw from his drug dependency alone. He did not remember the incident. Because of many prayers he is home now, but will not be able to see a phsyciatrist for 3 more weeks. He is very depressed. We are a close family and have always given him love and support. We would do anything to help him. He told me he has no more will. This is ripping my heart out. My questions are these: What medicines work the best? Is there hope for him? How can we help him? Does this sound similar to anyone else here? Any help you can give me will be greatly appreciated.

[LeftCoastChick]

There are a multitude of medications, but it's best left to a psychiatrist, it's not a question that we can answer here. I can give you some links so you have an idea. It sounds like you are doing your best, hopefully with meds he will find some stability. The US is horrible if you don't have insurance, especially folks with mental health issues, many fall into the hands of the authorities. If you feel though at any time he is suicidal, take him to the ER so he can be safe.

Zoloft is an anti-depressant in the SSRI family, but not usually give to BP folks until they've run out of a few options in the Mood Stabilizers category.  Do you have legal authority over him?  

Here's the link, it's pretty much A-Z of BP, hope this helps.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm

[stormee]

Thank you for your response. He was on Zoloft a few years ago, and it defiantately made a difference. He said it helped. Since he is not required to pay for the services he is getting now, hopefully he can get on the proper meds. We do not have legal authority over him. He is married. Sometimes I question whether he is actually bi-polar and wonder if that is overly diagnosed. It's not because I am ashamed of it. Whatever the problem is, we will support him. He just seems to be more severely depressed than manic. Do you know what I mean? Thank you for your help. I am open to any suggestions.

[LeftCoastChick]

I never thought I could be diagnosed with BP, I didn't think I had some of the myriad of symptoms that BP has, only a professional can make the diagnosis.I have spent the last 10yrs in depression and anxiety, I was shocked at the diagnosis, but  I'm glad I did get the diagnosis, in the sense that at least I am on better meds, it doesn't make the burden any easier at times. The symptoms may always be present but the meds can take it down to a more manageable, it bites, but that's part of life. I hope that he gets some stability soon, the most important that is quality of life, regardless of diagnosis.

[bipolarmixedsevere]

I went through the same thing my meds for mania brought me down to much! and un fortuneatly moodstablizers dont do much for depression they deffanatly cure mania witch is good becuase that can be verry dangerous! fish oil wuold help to an extant it is verry good for bipolar people costco sells a large amount of verry pure fish oil for cheap. it helped bring me up a little everry bit counts! also you might want to ask the doctor to lower the mood stablizer if thats possable in his condition? and not drinking alchahol at all maid a big differance with me! atideppresents can cuase mania I'm shure you have noticed that? I struggled for 4 years finding the right one I allmost died from one, once I was better I kept at it! my doctor gave me what he called a cocktail it was lithium a small amount of zyprexa I think it was like 5 mg and fish oil I was stable but still had alittle depression that is a verry tuff one! every antidepresent cuased mania or anger and impulsive behavior prozac about gave me a heart atack and hallusinations! all I can say is take the smallest amount of moodstablizer possable! the smallest amount possable that still keeps the mania away. I had to start on a high dose. it's a real puzzle I tell you! but that shuold help the depression. the best thig to do is to be completely straight edge even coffe can cuase mania and when you crash thats when the deppresion starts I'm shure you noticed that. just be as healthy as you can be good food broccali vegitables help depression but be carefull to many antioxidants give me mania to much shrimp gives me mania becuase of the iodine. I hope this helps him! I'm 27 by the way I was diagnosed at 18. I figured out any food that makes you feel good can cuase mania if you get carried away. b complex helped me at first but in the end it just cuased mania once it builds up in yuor system the mania hits hard! and stays for a while. I'm not a doctor but maybe a very small amount just once a week cuold bring him up it's a pain finding that perfect ballance between mania and depression. I still cant find my center I geuss you cuold call it? well I cuold go on for hours lol! it's just trial and error. I'v bhen thinking of starting a juornal of what causes my depression and mania two weeks I drank a energy drink I had mania for a week and now I'm verry depressed after comeing down today was tottal meloncolly for me. just be carefull and make wise choices of what you put in your body. well good luck! I actually feel a little happy now :) it feels good to help someone! bipolar really *****! lol I know happyer people that have no leggs bipolar can be pretty nasty.

[Sidelgato]

From my own experience I can tell you that an important part of getting stabilized is a good doctor or nurse practitioner who has knowledge of different medications. Until that happened to me, I would get so discouraged because nothing worked for any length of time. This just made me more depressed. A good doctor will see him on a regular basis and tweak medications as needed. It's not like other issues with your body where you can take one thing and it will pretty much do the trick (i.e. heart medication). The brain is so complicated and as in my case, it takes continual time and tweaking.

[LeftCoastChick]

I agree with Sidel, regardless of the amount of meds, stability is the most important thing right now. Being physically healthy is very important for the whole mind-body. I would stear clear of herbal or vitamin cures, there is no research to prove that they assist, THOUGH they are looking at Omega-3 as a supplement to regular meds. I think most people don't get enough Omegas/fatty acids and it's good for your heart as well.  Hopefully the meds will help him, but I would also set up strict boundaries as well, so he knows the consequences of going off his meds, which happens all too frequently with folks with a history like your son.

Don't expect him to bounce back right away. It took 3 months for my depression to lift to a decent level and my hypomania is still not fully controlled, but I just get hyper like folks get if they've had too much coffee.  Bipolar is a many sided disease - I've had hypomania with depression, it's called mixed states. When I took myself to hospital, I was bouncing off the walls and suicidal all at the same time, it was very painful both emotionally and physically. Black outs and loss of time/memory happens with many folks with Bipolar, especially Bipolar1 from what I know, I could be wrong, but that's what I've read.

[opus88]

hi...just read your post from back in march
I too suffer for my son and look for answers
I hope your son has stabilized by now and is on the road to recovery
Its very hard for a parent to watch as a mother you always want to 'fix' all their pain.