People Obsessing - OCD

This is very embarrassing. I'm 53 years old. Married 25 years and have two grown children but I still idolize certain people. Instead of idolizing movie stars I obsess over a certain individual. I worry about it too and feel it's not normal. I have a fear that I'm stalking but I don't stalk. I go for months or years obsessing. I don't know why I obsess so. But I decided to use this energy in a constructive manner. I decided to take this energy and started creative writing. I use the obsess person as a base and then develop a character around her. I have come up with some good story telling.

I just find it weird having this tendency. Anybody else out there do the same thing? Is it a gift or a curse?

[ILADVOCATE]

I only had this kind of thoughts that were fixed obsessions years ago when I was psychotic or if I am not doing well and if those thoughts do return I always let my psychiatrist know.

[PurellGirl]

Good for you for trying to channel these obsessive thoughts into something constructive!
Many famous authors were plagued with bad thoughts, but turned them into literary masterpieces!

You said you don't actually physically go out and stalk these people, right? Good.

I say you keep channeling these thoughts into your writing. You may find this is just the outlet you need.

Please keep us posted whether it's getting better or worse.

[Bluetwo]

My obessions are not malicious. I sometimes wonder how writers came up with their characters....they must be based on real life people.

[Xila31]

I don't obsess over people. I do get obsessive thoughts though on situations that are happening. It can be anything from something stressful to something I'm excited about, so both positive and negative things. As it gets worse I just go around in circles worrying myself into the ground. I can't focus, and I get stuckin a loop like having a song stuck in my head, (but it's racing obsessive thoughts instead.)

When I am writing, I obsess on my stroy. All of my thoughts are around my story. This is when I do my best writing, and I could go 8 to 10 hours a day writing non-stop, forgetting to eat even. My most recent story I made progress on, I wrote 12 chapters in about 3 months, which is very good. But my ability to write has deteriorated over the last two years as I struggle, and although I know how I want the story to go I can't get it out. I just keep praying and waiting to get through it.

During that obsessive time I do my best writing, but it can also be very detrimental in the obsession can overflow the story. :(

For my only "completed" but unedited/unpublished novel, that's how it was. I obsessed to the point that I have this entire world's timeline writen out historically, and I had to have every single date in time so I would know exactly when things happened. I had the dates of when inventions were made, events happened, and the names and birth and death dates of every emperor and every dynesty (it was a fantasy/sci-fi type book,) all the way back to the founding of the empire, (which was about around 1000 years, so yeah... obsessive.) The book ended up being over 200,000 words long and no one will publish it the way it is, and like many projects, it sits gathering dust.  It is like reading an encyclopedia...

[jimgreg]

this is sooooooooo  true....

[Bluetwo]

You shouldn't put your work away and let it collect dust. You did some heavy duty research and maybe another author might need that information. Be a co-author?

[Xila31]

Oh, no. I didn't do any research I made up the whole thing myself. It's all fictional. :) Like J.R.R. Tolkein wrote that entire elf language for lord of the rings. I have partial languages, four original races, the history of an entire planet all created out of my own head. I started writing it when I was 18, it was lost to a virus except for the first five chapters. So then I put it on hold for about two years then went back to it. Finished the writing in 2003, "edited" once. Then put it away thinking it was "done." Now it sits, waiting for me to be capable of massive editing.

I could probably cut it into a trilogy, that's how long it is. :(

I put chapter one up on a writing web page once and they tore me a new one on how bad it is. It was really depressing and eye opening. :(