Post-mania/mixed, changed

[run4you]

After a fully manic or mixed episode, have you ever changed? I mean after you get back to 'stable' and everything...

I ask because my mania triggered other things (ie OCD and paranoia) to blow up, and although I'm stable, those things are not subsiding very much at all. I think this is my new 'normal'...

Just curious if anyone else feels different afterwards...

[run4you]

I'm glad I'm not just imagining the differences (but it is unfortunate that I'll have to adjust to the new).

I like the idea of making the most of what I've got (and readjusting as necessary). It does completely make sense (I've read a little about kindling), I just was hoping that it was a slow and gradual process... not slow and then an episode and sudden changes.

bpchris - I am big on the lights, but the blinds have got to be shut. I am terrified someone is out there. I have to sleep with lights on every night anyway... this just made it exponentially worse.

Thank you everyone for your replies... I wish it was different - but at the same time, I guess life is all about changes. I'll learn to like the new me.

I just hope I can get over this fear of having a relapse. I'm guessing that's really, really common, too. It gets a little less every day that passes, thankfully.

Thanks again :)

[bpchrisb]

When I was dealing with mixed episodes, I started to develop very, very strange phobias.. I would have a full blown panic attack in dark spaces and when I had to spend time alone in my apartment...

I got to to the point where I would turn on every single light in the apartment, had the blinds open, and always have the TV and computer on just to calm me down. At one point, I walked into a pitch black laundry room and almost hit the floor with a panic attack.

I HATED being in the apartment, so I would go for 8 mile long walks that took hours so that I wouldn't have to be there alone.

[adel_ezz]

nobody will the same again. everybody will agree on that.

this mania was horrible it is still there as soon as i reduce my typical AP's i sleep less eat more and become very energetic. I feel my symptoms can get worse. Mind you there is what is call the kindling process. Again after each episode, it's like a new experience in your life. Even if you just travel to Mexico say, your attitude towards life will change. So what about if something occurs in your inside and especially the brain with which you see the outside world. Sure you must change. They also say after each recovery the symptoms get worse. My experience the longer is the mania, the deeper is the depression. I thought that a mania would last a few weeks because i had before one full episode and then succeeded in aborting a few others. But this time i completed week 10 and it's still there.

I know that all AD's bring mania with no exception. But i was happy to surf hard the internet until i discovered a correspondence between a swiss woman and her very old experienced shrink telling her if you want an AD that doesn't drive you then it's the stablon/coaxil. I tried several times to write to Servier the french firm enquiring abt this information, but they didn't respond. Though i took it and for the 1st time i stayed 8 months consecutively without mania so i said to myself finally i found the road to the treasure, unfortunately the map was fake and eventually i became manic.

Now i WONDER whether it's the stablon really or it was beginning spring and summer or because i lifted an AP or that it was high time that i get my mania since a long period elapsed without it. Can anyone tell, of course not and unfortunately the literature says the same the manias are not solely due to the AD's but may be the new status of the brain. I remember very well for my 1st mania to occur i took a tricyclic 4 consecutive months for my robust brain to melt now a spark and it goes at full speed.

So yes unfortunately one doesn't return to his original status  

[abn0os]

It took me a whole year to overcome my previous episode. The recent hit was 4 months ago, and I believe the worst part has been over for a month now, however, it will take a long long time, probably another one year process, to get out of it...

[pilgrim165]

absolutely. But you have to adjust and try to make the most of your new outlook on life. You'll notice things you never noticed before and it always seems to be 'before I got unwell' and 'after I got well'. You cannot go through this without changing. I'm sorry, you may greive for the past you, I do sometimes, but you have to learn to find your new strengths. You will make mistakes but try to think of it as an adventure. You can reinvent yourself in a way that you love. An opportunity.......

[FDO]

mania i believe makes things harder.  i have borderline and dependent personality disorders along with bipolar, and i get paranoid over everybody and everything major big time after an episode.

[ILADVOCATE]

Well for myself as a person with schizoaffective disorder before my current recovery (which is in "relative remission", the treatment I take that is in clinical study is of course not a cure) any time I had mixed states I had aspects of psychosis as well. Sometimes other psychiatric disabilities are diagnosed over time but were not known to be there before. And of course bipolar and other psychiatric disabilities can sometimes worsen or have different aspects of them emerge over time or on the other hand, have other aspects of them become less promiment. That is clinically complex and just being understood but with many overlapping psychiatric disabilities such as schizoaffective or bipolar with psychotic features the episodes of moodswings and paranoia usually occur together and with bipolar with psychotic features (not schizoaffective) in betwen the episodes of mania and depression there is a temporary period where a persons' moods are somewhat stable.