Psychotic symptoms

I am currently recovering from a severe depression with suicide ideation in which i apparently had psychotic symptoms. Has anyone else had psychosis without knowing what it was until speaking to your therapist about what was going on? and does anyone have any advice as to what to look for in oneself when psychosis starts?

[jst4shanell]

I tend to get psychosis when i'm extremely depressed or manic.  When I am depressed I know when i'm psychotic.  Auditory, visual, paranoia and delusions.  It is frightening for me to say the least.  I once thought the wallpaper on my wall was my boyfriend and he kept telling me to bang my head against the wall and punch the wall till my bones crumbled.  I was fully aware but could not control it.  I ended up in the hospital really hurt.

When I am manic I cannot tell when i'm psychotic.  In my world everything is just fine.  Or not fine depending on how paranoid I am.  It is delusional, hallucinations (visual and auditory) and thoughts of invensibility.  I also dissasociate with myself (I have moments where I don't remember periods of time).  It is truly embarrassing when you come to and everyone tells you what happened.  I have done some aweful things.

I also occasionally hallucinate even when my medications are under control.  Even with a constant anti-psychotic.  This does not bother me because it feels like a different trip.  It's like i'm on acid or mushrooms which I have done more times than you would believe.  When I lay down at night, I can feel and see sounds.  It sends an electrical shock through me when I hear something.  The sounds are different colors depending on the pitch.  I need to ask my pdoc about this.  I don't know if this is psychosis or not.  I doubt it.

Sorry for your depression.  I hope to hear you are on your way back up.  I know a lot from my own personal experiences so if you would like to PM me you are more than welcome.  Hope your feeling better.  :)

[shelby78]

thanks for your comment. i am on my way back up thankfully! i got psychotic when i was at my lowest. i have yet to have psychosis when i am manic because i only experience hypomania fortunately. However, my psychosis was auditory. I hate to admit this, but i feel this is a safe place to admit that i was hearing voices. Now, fortunately, i am on a new antidepressant and an anti-psych, so i am picking back up! Thanks again.

[bastet56]

If I am lucky enough, I notice the psychosis when I begin to have thoughts that I am being spied on or my telephone is bugged. I also begin to make detailed plans for my demise. I can hear voices of people arguing or talking just at the edge of my hearing. If I start to notice these things I get myself to the psych dr or when I lived at my last place I checked myself into the psych hospital as I quickly would become a danger to myself. This area does not have that resource so I call my dr post haste. I don't need to be down or up in order to go psychotic, just need to be stressed. I am glad you are feeling better.
Hope you keep improving. Try journalling, you might pick up on a pattern.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Yes even I despite being identified as "recovered" do have to watch for this. And there is a reason which is the antipsychotic agent I am on just like the current ones being that I have schizoaffective requires a mood stabilizer. During the time I was off Clonidine (which is my working mood stabilizer, it was approved that I stop it due to side effects, I follow my provider's directions) I did become grandiose and think that I could take on too many things and seemed on this endless campaign to symptomatize people who had put me down before I recovered. It was hostile and got out of control. Some of those people did have issues but now in working with them to seek help it has a totally different approach (and please if some people are reading this, let's remember to keep any message that is a pm not publicly posted thanks). Grandiosity is an important trigger point for me. I'm not worried about whether I'll notice it or not partly because I do a daily journal (offsite as its too personal) and also I keep in close touch with my psychiatrist, even now by TTY. He can listen to the messages and their tone and length and if he had concerns he'd let me know as he had in the past.
  But as for suicidal ideations as other people said let your psychiatrist know immediately as that is highly of concern. They will know how to advise you.