Questions about depakote and a possible misdiagnosis, Im new to all this

[Phoenix6]

I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia about 4 1/2 to 5 months ago and my dr started me on Depakote ER. I explained how I had inabilities at times to handle mild arguements with people, espcially my girlfriend. Id constantly be getting upset and paranoid and having thoughts run through my head at a million miles an hour. Major inability to concentrate, the works. One of my main issues as mentioned before, is my need to dramatically make an argument worse. Id storm off and drive up and down the highway (at speed limit, no speeding) to get aaway and not tell her where I was taking off to. I always felt the inability to stop myself from doing anything I could to get more from the situation. She started calling them episodes before we even looked into what has been up with me, I havent always been like this. Id get down and upset or depressed for no reason and wed eventually get into it.

Anyways, this is how treatment has been going.

First it was 250mg, then to 500mg, (one at night, one in the morning) then on to 750mg (2 night, 1 morning)
Now as of this morning Im on 1000mg (2 and 2).

After my first 2 days intially, I had a huge attack of depression and anxiety, I wanted to off myself. I was never hospitalized, but the situation scared me.  

That went away and I stayed on my treatment. Everytime my dose has increased Ive noticed it becoming harder and harder to control when Im up and down. Every other day towards the end of my day at work, something so small could happen, Id normally brush off, that gets me down, and it sticks, badly. I get moody with everyone, and when I get home, my girlfriend and I always almost get into another argument, because I get slightly mean or harsh in my wording. Ive tried everything I know to keep myself up, I dont want to be mad or upset, Im usually an up and going guy, and I love her and want to be the best damn guy on the planet for her, she deserves it, but if I continue on this path of destruction, Im going to lose her, my job, and everything else Ive worked so hard for. Im confused with what exactly is going on with me, Im starting to think this medication is causing me to be worse than before, or that something else may be needed to help stabalize me. I cant afford $60 co pays everytime I see my dr either, I have to make the visits count.

Im up to 1000mg like I had said before, and by the time I got home I was gloomy, depressed and upset. I ended up crying, and just beating myself up about everything. I dont want this kind of life for myself nor for her if shes going to stand by me. I just need some insight, some help, anything.

For anyone that can offer any answers, Id so greatly appreciate it, it would mean the absolute world to me.

-Phoenix

[Missygen]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Depakote ER 500mg, but my psychiatrist also increased my antidepressant, Effexor to 225mg (I was on 75mg). The way she explained it, a mood stabilizer like Depakote controls the mania side of bipolar, but an antidepressant is also needed to control major depression. I would talk to your doctor about possibly adding an antidepressant if you aren't on one already.

[velvetvenus]

i have adhd along with bipolar and anxiety and some of what you describe sounds like adhd but your doctor would have to evaluate you. if you are unhappy with a drug tell your doctor, maybe a change will be good. topamax is a mood stabelizer as well as many others. it may take a combination of drugs to help too. if your livelyhood is in trouble then it is worth the money for the extra doctor visits. work your money situation out and go see your doctor, your way of living and girlfriend are worth the expense but be patient.

[ILADVOCATE]

No one here can give specific medical information but if a medication dose gets raised and things start to even out that's a good sign. If things get worse as it goes up that's of concern. Speak to your psychiatrist about it. Lithium is worth trying and Lamictal does work for many people. Its up to your psychiatrist but its common not to respond to the first mood stabilizer you've tried. I've been through 30 and that's rare but its also rare for someone to automatically be helped by the first one they try. Its common to need an adjunct or to occasionally need to change. They haven't fine tuned which mood stabilizer is right for which person's biochemistry. In the future that may very well change.

[Phoenix6]

It being this long, it seems to me it sounds more like Depakote just isnt the right one for me. It kinda ***** because I know I have to ween from it then onto a new drug which will take weeks and weeks to take affect. I want nothing more than this med to work.

Im deathly afraid of lithium. Ive heard horror stories of the side effects and situations where temprarily the patient would need to come off for a week or so to the let the body even out, during which was NOT a good time to be around that individual.

Does any of this sound normal for anyone on or who has been on Depakote and that it possibly may get better the higher I go on it and it evens out?

[ILADVOCATE]

Mood stabilizers can sometimes can cause mood alterations as a rare side effect but just because one mood stabilizer (Depakoate) might have doesn't mean another would do that. We have some good websites linked up about available mood stabilizers. Speak to your psychiatrist about what other options there are as its a potential that either the Depakoate isn't working or worsening things but that doesn't mean its a misdiagnosis and certainly you should stay on medication. Just work with them to find something that works better for you and you can tolerate better. The other two standard FDA approved options are lithium and Lamictal but there are many others as well.