Relationship Fail

This is going to be sort of a personal question but I want to know how many other people are in the same boat as me.  How many of you had a relationship or relationships fail after you became mentally ill or had a full blown episode of your mental illness?  When I had the full psychotic break, I lost the ability to express myself emotionally entirely and never really regained it back and it has caused a lot of turbulence in a relationship I'm in and one thing has lead to another.  Other than that though apparently everyone else likes me so much they still want to hang around me even if I do crazy ****.

[BP2PROFESSIONAL]

Haven't failed yet but we are certainly in family therapy, in fact if was our family therapist that discovered I was bipolar.

[Audrey_Creed]

I've lost (what I thought were) very close friends because they couldn't deal with me at my worst.

[Bluetwo]

"...I've lost (what I thought were) very close friends because they couldn't deal with me at my worst."

I guess that's a test of character when they are confronted with "the worst." You find out very quickly who were supportive and didn't judge you based on your illness. Some people are scared of mental illness still and have old sterotypes.

[Bluetwo]

"Other than that though apparently everyone else likes me so much they still want to hang around me even if I do crazy ****."

Your still likeable and huggable even with crazy****.  But be careful... don't let people use you for source of entertainment. Some people have the nerve to treat you like a freak show.

If your relationship didn't hang in there for you during  turbulant times then it's a test of character. They could of been frighten by your actions and didn't know how to deal with turbulance.

[vsantos]

Hi, Not sure if I should tell you my experience, I don't mean to discourage you. But my wonderful husband of 12 years had his frist Major Manic Episode last year at age 44 (tried to commit suicide, was psychotic..).
   Trust me, we were doing fine in the relationship even thinking about a 2nd child (we have a 3 year old)...All of sudden he goes Manic and from there on I was never able to speal to my "Real' husband again.
   I have become the reason for his suffering, he told me right away he was leaving me that he had suffered for 12 years etc...
   Long strory short we're 11 months into his first Manic Episode, he had left home at first and then came back, but 2 months ago left for good and is living with another woman.
   His family, my family and our friends CAN'T understand why he left me since they all know how happy we have been together....It has been very tough for me to accept too!!!
    He wants no help from me or his family, he refuses treatment and all I can do is watch this new Man that exists now , that behavies nothing like my husband....it's horrible for me and to cope with the lost of a Loved one!
     He has always had problems expressing himself like you were saying, but now it's almost as if he has no Feelings. And I was the one who suffered the most because all of a sudden he completely 'sopped loving me' !!!!! I still can't understand/accept that this is happening to my family.
    But hang in there, hope you are taking care of yourslef, taking your meds., if your loved one LOVES you, the realationship can survive!

[adel_ezz]

I admire you at 115 years and still looking for relationships. Joking of course

Yes unfortunately. I had proposed to a girl once, i wouldn't say she was fantastic, but i was hypomanic then and happy and was doing irrational things too. here we don't go into love affairs neither we are entitled to know each other correctly. Anyway i tried to tell her the truth she asked her father who is a doctor and she flew away like i have leprosy.

when you say bipolarity to an egyptian he thinks you are lucky like you have two organs or a device which works on direct as well as alternating current !!LOL

[Audrey_Creed]

Bluetwo:
that's very true. I know now who my true friends are because they stuck though it.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

vsantos -
Sorry to hear that blew up in your face like that, I see some similarities between that and for me.

adel_ezz -
LMAO that thing about you admiring me at 115 years old for still trying made me laugh really good.

[adel_ezz]

i see that you corrected your age to the true one 110 only. unless the computer does it automatically

[Xila31]

I know that I am losing my ability to communicate effectively. I talk in circles, think in spirales, and everything in my head is a big mess of tangled racing thoughts. Because of this, people dont' like being around me. I've lost so many friends, family, and others because of it.

Also, I agree to be careful if people are using you for entertainment. I had a whole group of people do that to me. They even drove my delusions and played along with me just to watch the crazy girl and make fun of her. I will never forget the day that I was looking in a long time "friends" eyes, (knew him for 10 years at the time,) and saw that he thought I was a stupid moron and did not respect me at all. That was near the end of it. Maybe I was regaining some clarity at that point. But, I will always remember it and now I keep a look out for that look.

[dontpanic]

I have some good news? My fiancee and I have found ways to make our relationship work regardless of my bipolar. He goes to the psychiatrist and to therapy with me and it really helps him to be involved in my treatment. I've found that I have problems communicating with him, but by going to therapy together, he understands why. I think the key is that as much as it *****, you have to work together.

[Alex_X_18]

yea I lost my last relationship being in mixed states.....
I had a decent bf. my parents absloutly loved him. He was polite and easy going
straight A student about to graduate college (all around nice guy) but we got in sevral major fights/quarrels over a peroid of months and it basicly destroyed the relationship and his trust in me. Basicly he never bothered to say anything because he thought I would get really upset with him. Since he never drew it to my attention I assumed we were doing ok, until we got into another fight and broke up. It was a hard lesson I learned but I am glad to have understood this. Nowdays I'm really careful about how I approach the guys I feel a romanitic connection with. I'm still single, but hopefully someday I will find a guy that will respect my illness for what it is and work with me,...until then I'm just working on becoming confident in defining who I am.  

[toosick13]

If you have a therapist, see if your significant other can come to a session with you to discuss and work out some ways to help the relationship.  I had friends who were having difficulty supporting me, because they didn't know what I needed, or how to help.  My therapist suggested the group session.  I also gave them a book on how family and friends can live with someone with bipolar, and printed material off DBSA website on how friends/family can support the one with bipolar.  NAMI has a family-to-family educational workshop that is 12 weeks, teaching family members (significant others) about the illness and how to have a relationship with the loved one with the illness.
It's good that you still have friends who accept you; just please make sure it's YOU they accept, and not your "crazy" behavior.  You don't need that stigma.
Good Luck.