I get that feeling whenever I go anywhere new or shopping at times when the stores are busy. It is also triggered at hair salons or dr appts other than my psy doc or therapist office. I get a mix of anxiety and paranoia. I have managed to control it by shopping early in the morning when the stores are mostly empty and NEVER on Fridays, Saturdays or after noon on Sundays. I take my husband or dog with me if I have to go to somewhere that makes me uncomfortable and anxious or I force myself thru it and sometimes suffer the consequences. Hair salons and dr appts are a bad place for me and I have to steel myself because not only am I anxious, I am also sure everyone there is laughing at me or talking about me behind my back THEN laughing. I try to distract myself as much as possible by trying to read or listen to music. Believe me, you are NOT alone.
Thank you for your input everyone. It has been interesting seeing what others go through. I am going to try the earphones on my phone with music for my next shopping trip. That seems a good starting point.
ILADVOCATE, I'm not afraid to be around people per se it's all the noise and people rushing past and just too much input I think. It also depends on my mood too. If I am up then I can go for hours in a shopping center and it doesn't bother me but when I am down I can't stand it and will deliberately go to a small shop to get what I need or send my partner. When I am in the middle I get this way, angry, agitated etc.
I am still trying to get into see a psych as the service here discharges you if you don't see them for a month or two and then to get back in you have to start all over again.
I did experience this before recovery when I had paranoid episodes but as part of anxiety disorder people can have claustrophobia or fear of large spaces. It depends whether you are afraid to be around people or just the experience of being a crowd or any enclosed environment sets you off. Ask your psychiatrist what some of the reasons might be. Elevators were never my thing either as you had to balance avoiding eye contact with people but not stare at them either but that is the past for me but those experiences are very familiar.
I know exactly what you mean. At my worst, I wore sun glasses (the lights bothered me), a brimmed hat, and had MP3 playing when shopping, even for groceries. That was me struggling. At the mall I felt smothered and the noise was unbearable. I just wanted to bolt out of the exit. My psychologist challenged me to seek out individuals who I thought would be "attactive or interesting" and make eye contact while walking by them. The first time I forgot, but a salesperson caught my attention and gave me a hand scrub, which distracted me from running thru the mall. When I finally tried making more eye contact with others, I noticed smiles and twinkles in peoples eyes, and began to be "less inside my own head" . The constant internal dialogue is so tiring. I stopped feeling like I was in the middle of the swarm. I still don't like the mall, but I can tolerate it better now. Good luck and take care. kp
I try to go during down times so that the crowds aren't as bad.
This happens to me also. It makes me not even want to shop. I want to punch everyone's light's out. So I use my MP3 player. It blocks everyone out. It works wonders for me and shopping is actually quit enjoyable. Give it a try. Can't hurt