My son is going through a very difficult phase for the past 2 years as his father has moved away from the famly and spends very less time with us. He loves his father and has been present when his father has spoken about seperation, not wanting to be with us as a family etc. We are on our own and managing ourselves. He has had to at times answer people's queries on where his father is etc. I have found over the past year that he has been shutting out any unpleasant events regarding his father and forgets about what he says or does fast. Earlier I thought it was his way of dealing with it and moving on in life. I have now begun to notice that even otherwise he has begun forgetting tasks around the house, forgetting his normal daily stuff and at times what he studies. He has difficulty concentrating on studies and remembering what he has studied.
I am concerned that there is a connection between his sub conscious shutting down his problems with his father and his everyday short term memory loss.
Please let me know if I should get him to a counsellor to help him through and for him to get help. Is this curable and will he need medication.
None of us are doctors so any advice we can give you is laymans terms and experience but it sounds to me like something that a psychologist or therapist may be able to help you with as a first attempt - yes he has been shutting out as a coping mechanism and thats also a good answer for the forgetfulness and concentration which can also be components of depression.
Its kind of hard to tell if there is anything there as we don't know anything more, I would ask you a question - was the breakup of your relationship with his father acrimonious ? Is there ongoing animosity and negativity with regards to his father or his fathers behaviour?
Children pick up on thing far easier than we think and they are very good at emotions.
I would not be worried this is short term memory loss, I suspect he is just not interested in paying attention right now and particularly to adults.
You also don't state how old he is? Boys who lose their fathers can go through a lot or stuff - mine spent most of my life working away from home and our relationship is still not normal in any way - if he has just lost his father then he will be suffering a form of grief (yes he did not die but it is grief just the same) and seperation anxiety.
I think the very first thing you should do is speak to your doctor, get a referral to a child psychologist and let the child have a few sessions with them - and then be willing to accept and understand what comes out of those sessions as well which is important.
Relationship breakups are hard on kids, there is no doubt about it and it stands to reason he is going to block out the bad stuff about his dad.
I guess you wouldnt be posting here unless you thought it was serious and more than a developmental phase but:
Over this Christmas I am living with 4 teenagers, so please remember when it comes to this age group it goes with the territory. I teach this age group and my god they are so forgetful. My 10 year old is all organised but I can see what is ahead and somehow in teenage years they regress memory wise. It is a well known thing.
But I have to say it must have been impossibly hard for him to hear that his father didnt want to be part of his life. I have some divorced friends and usualy around this age the boys like to see a lot of their father. Is their any way they could spend more time together?
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.