Aa
Short-term Zyprexa use
I've had a rough several days and saw my psychiatrist today. He gave me Zyprexa. This is only a short-term "band-aid" for 3 or 4 days max - and hopefully not that long. I have never taken it before. I read all that teeny tiny print in the insert, but none of it was for such brief usage. What should I expect? How should I feel?
He is trying to get me back to a more normal state, but is hoping for sleep. Sleep is fine, but he wanted me to start right away and I've had a dose. I am not opposed to sleeping a little later, but it's not even 5:30pm here. So, I'm curious if this knocks some people out right away or if this will come on gradually when I take a second or third dose. He's asked me to take 2.5 mg every two hours if I'm not awake. I know everyone is different. I was just hoping to hear something other than the horror stories I've read from longer-term use.
I guess I was a little aggressive in his office. He smiled and said I was acting like a b-word. He didn't mean anything by it - was probably imagining what my husband goes through. It was funny, even if it sounds inappropriate. It was in context. I did correct him and say that if I were a man I would not be labelled that way. He agreed. It was the first time I've laughed in days. I think its a good sign that the doc makes me laugh. I fessed up everything I'd been up to. Then stopped on the way home and got a milkshake - aka forbidden fruit. I am glad to be out of the car because I wanted to run into people for no particular reason. Just to see what would happen. He asked if I was suicidal and I'm not at all. Just having lots of ideas and urges... But, hopefully they will go away soon...not that they are entirel unpleasant at this point. Started out very unpleasant and it hardly seems fair that once I actually start feeling good, that's when we try to squelch it. That's how it goes, though. Sorry I need to shut up now.
Thanks in advance!!!
He is trying to get me back to a more normal state, but is hoping for sleep. Sleep is fine, but he wanted me to start right away and I've had a dose. I am not opposed to sleeping a little later, but it's not even 5:30pm here. So, I'm curious if this knocks some people out right away or if this will come on gradually when I take a second or third dose. He's asked me to take 2.5 mg every two hours if I'm not awake. I know everyone is different. I was just hoping to hear something other than the horror stories I've read from longer-term use.
I guess I was a little aggressive in his office. He smiled and said I was acting like a b-word. He didn't mean anything by it - was probably imagining what my husband goes through. It was funny, even if it sounds inappropriate. It was in context. I did correct him and say that if I were a man I would not be labelled that way. He agreed. It was the first time I've laughed in days. I think its a good sign that the doc makes me laugh. I fessed up everything I'd been up to. Then stopped on the way home and got a milkshake - aka forbidden fruit. I am glad to be out of the car because I wanted to run into people for no particular reason. Just to see what would happen. He asked if I was suicidal and I'm not at all. Just having lots of ideas and urges... But, hopefully they will go away soon...not that they are entirel unpleasant at this point. Started out very unpleasant and it hardly seems fair that once I actually start feeling good, that's when we try to squelch it. That's how it goes, though. Sorry I need to shut up now.
Thanks in advance!!!
Yikes! Ya'll both had stomach surgeries... I hope they've helped. I have only had surgeries on both feet and oral surgeries. Nothing so incredibly invasive.
LCC - I have seen several doctors on TV the past couple of years and they all say every other day is fine. My mom showers every other day in the winter and always has. The only reason she can't do that in the summer is that she lives by Dallas, loves to garden, and it's often 100 degrees! Really, a lot of people have gone way overboard with bathing. My in-laws in NZ and our best friends from England were not nearly so obsessive about bathing. In my case, I would be satisfied with every other day and it's actually a much more environmentally friendly option because I take such long, long showers and use so much water. I've tried to go faster all my life, but I can't get everything done faster. A little more water pressure would help. Ours is not great here. We're on a well and stuck with it.
What I try to do (and have not been able to do for several months) is go to acupuncture once a week and then try to get to a spa or massage therapist as often as I can. Clearly, things have been off for a while. I haven't had my hair cut and colored in almost 4 months. I should really go no more than every 8 weeks because it is long and I also get ugly different-colored roots, etc. It has been harder since I have had to go help with my grandparents. It takes a long time to recover from each trip. But anyway, those are the good things I try to do for myself. I find that sometimes I do want to go, but other times I dread leaving the house and don't really want to go. That's the thing. Sometimes I want to be safe here at home and get very anxious at the thought of leaving, no matter what the reward is at the end of a trip. I am in touch with a lot of the things I do that are self-destructive or reckless or unhealthy. It's changing them that is difficult. I know what I'm supposed to do. I just have trouble with the idea that anyone/anything should be able to dictate what is good or bad. It's this little kid in me who hates authority, I guess. It's like the smoking. The more dirty looks, snide comments, and general inconvenience I encounter, the more I smoke. I think a lot of us have to be left alone and we'll come to what is best for us on our own. Badgering me will almost always have the opposite effect than was intended. (And especially on that one thing, I know exactly what's likely to happen since I have two family members with COPD, one on oxygen).
I was originally diagosed bipolar in my 20s and couldn't afford meds or lab work, so then I conveniently forgot about it for years. I didn't have as many upswings for a long time and none were unmanageable. A few glitches, but nothing I couldn't handle. I let the whole thing go and was more concerned with the depression. That seemed nearly constant. In fact, I sent my husband to a seminar about depression at a local hospital - oh, if only they'd have one here about bipolar because he was a different person after attending that seminar. At one point during my first or psychiatrist visit here several years ago, I thought about the bipolar and asked him what he thought. I actually had several odd but significant memories come up. It's strange how the mind works, isn't it? I don't think I was repressing anything. It was in there all along and I somehow chose not to think about it.
As far as defining ourselves, I think it's a problem whether someone has bipolar or not or anything else. It's hard for me, as a woman, to know what I am because all of the usual monikers do not apply to me. With or without bipolar, I'm outside the most common categories. I am not a mother. I don't work. I am not really a homemaker because that would imply I actually did something. The truth is that a lot of the time I do a whole lot of nothing at all. Feed dogs. Feed horses. Muck a little. Shop a few times a month - not recreational shopping either. No cooking. No cleaning... I think many of us would like to say "I am X" and I know society would like to be able to slap that label on us. So, what am I? I'd like to think that when acquaintances think of me that they simply think I'm a nice person and that's as far as it has to go, but I doubt it happens much. In fact, I've learned the hard way that with some people they will look for what's wrong - as if they get some kind of pleasure from making pronouncements about who they think you are. Had the unfortunate experience of having a friend whose ex-wife was not only bipolar, but even had the same name. First time he got irritated with me about something, it was all-out war and I morphed into a coddled psycho freak - in his words and among other things. I couldn't believe it. This was due to HIS practical joke gone bad, btw. It had to go back to his issues with his ex-wife, but he couldn't discern that. Thank God my husband did see it that way because I'm blubbering about whether I really am that way and very upset. Point being that some people take their issues and project them onto other people whether they are accurate or not. I don't worry any more about bipolar defining me, but like it or not, it will define me for some people. However, if that is the worst thing that ever happens, I am lucky indeed.
My husband is trying and I am trying. I think a good book or something would be helpful. He says he read a couple of little things from the psychiatrist's office, but he doesn't seem to remember much about what they said. We are almost to the point where I think he's getting it when I say 'don't wind me up' that if he doesn't leave things alone, then I will end up angry with him. He only halfway pays attention to things sometimes, so it's a struggle to get his full attention and it is also hard when I know he forgets everything. I have to make lists for him. I figure if I am working hard to help him do what needs to be done or remember what needs to be remembered, that he should help me, too. Often, that is a matter of dropping a subject because I can't deal with it. It's usually the decision-making that does my head in. He doesn't worry about much, doesn't have/express a lot of opinions and doesn't need control, so that means he escapes a lot of responsibility (and that may be why he's like that). I hate making almost all the decisions because I feel like that makes me have almost all the responsibility. It's too much for one person. Too much for me anyway. I think he perceives it much differently and that is something we have to keep working on. Things will come right. He sees me as the driving force but sometimes I can't handle it all. He'll get it sooner or later.
LCC - I have seen several doctors on TV the past couple of years and they all say every other day is fine. My mom showers every other day in the winter and always has. The only reason she can't do that in the summer is that she lives by Dallas, loves to garden, and it's often 100 degrees! Really, a lot of people have gone way overboard with bathing. My in-laws in NZ and our best friends from England were not nearly so obsessive about bathing. In my case, I would be satisfied with every other day and it's actually a much more environmentally friendly option because I take such long, long showers and use so much water. I've tried to go faster all my life, but I can't get everything done faster. A little more water pressure would help. Ours is not great here. We're on a well and stuck with it.
What I try to do (and have not been able to do for several months) is go to acupuncture once a week and then try to get to a spa or massage therapist as often as I can. Clearly, things have been off for a while. I haven't had my hair cut and colored in almost 4 months. I should really go no more than every 8 weeks because it is long and I also get ugly different-colored roots, etc. It has been harder since I have had to go help with my grandparents. It takes a long time to recover from each trip. But anyway, those are the good things I try to do for myself. I find that sometimes I do want to go, but other times I dread leaving the house and don't really want to go. That's the thing. Sometimes I want to be safe here at home and get very anxious at the thought of leaving, no matter what the reward is at the end of a trip. I am in touch with a lot of the things I do that are self-destructive or reckless or unhealthy. It's changing them that is difficult. I know what I'm supposed to do. I just have trouble with the idea that anyone/anything should be able to dictate what is good or bad. It's this little kid in me who hates authority, I guess. It's like the smoking. The more dirty looks, snide comments, and general inconvenience I encounter, the more I smoke. I think a lot of us have to be left alone and we'll come to what is best for us on our own. Badgering me will almost always have the opposite effect than was intended. (And especially on that one thing, I know exactly what's likely to happen since I have two family members with COPD, one on oxygen).
I was originally diagosed bipolar in my 20s and couldn't afford meds or lab work, so then I conveniently forgot about it for years. I didn't have as many upswings for a long time and none were unmanageable. A few glitches, but nothing I couldn't handle. I let the whole thing go and was more concerned with the depression. That seemed nearly constant. In fact, I sent my husband to a seminar about depression at a local hospital - oh, if only they'd have one here about bipolar because he was a different person after attending that seminar. At one point during my first or psychiatrist visit here several years ago, I thought about the bipolar and asked him what he thought. I actually had several odd but significant memories come up. It's strange how the mind works, isn't it? I don't think I was repressing anything. It was in there all along and I somehow chose not to think about it.
As far as defining ourselves, I think it's a problem whether someone has bipolar or not or anything else. It's hard for me, as a woman, to know what I am because all of the usual monikers do not apply to me. With or without bipolar, I'm outside the most common categories. I am not a mother. I don't work. I am not really a homemaker because that would imply I actually did something. The truth is that a lot of the time I do a whole lot of nothing at all. Feed dogs. Feed horses. Muck a little. Shop a few times a month - not recreational shopping either. No cooking. No cleaning... I think many of us would like to say "I am X" and I know society would like to be able to slap that label on us. So, what am I? I'd like to think that when acquaintances think of me that they simply think I'm a nice person and that's as far as it has to go, but I doubt it happens much. In fact, I've learned the hard way that with some people they will look for what's wrong - as if they get some kind of pleasure from making pronouncements about who they think you are. Had the unfortunate experience of having a friend whose ex-wife was not only bipolar, but even had the same name. First time he got irritated with me about something, it was all-out war and I morphed into a coddled psycho freak - in his words and among other things. I couldn't believe it. This was due to HIS practical joke gone bad, btw. It had to go back to his issues with his ex-wife, but he couldn't discern that. Thank God my husband did see it that way because I'm blubbering about whether I really am that way and very upset. Point being that some people take their issues and project them onto other people whether they are accurate or not. I don't worry any more about bipolar defining me, but like it or not, it will define me for some people. However, if that is the worst thing that ever happens, I am lucky indeed.
My husband is trying and I am trying. I think a good book or something would be helpful. He says he read a couple of little things from the psychiatrist's office, but he doesn't seem to remember much about what they said. We are almost to the point where I think he's getting it when I say 'don't wind me up' that if he doesn't leave things alone, then I will end up angry with him. He only halfway pays attention to things sometimes, so it's a struggle to get his full attention and it is also hard when I know he forgets everything. I have to make lists for him. I figure if I am working hard to help him do what needs to be done or remember what needs to be remembered, that he should help me, too. Often, that is a matter of dropping a subject because I can't deal with it. It's usually the decision-making that does my head in. He doesn't worry about much, doesn't have/express a lot of opinions and doesn't need control, so that means he escapes a lot of responsibility (and that may be why he's like that). I hate making almost all the decisions because I feel like that makes me have almost all the responsibility. It's too much for one person. Too much for me anyway. I think he perceives it much differently and that is something we have to keep working on. Things will come right. He sees me as the driving force but sometimes I can't handle it all. He'll get it sooner or later.
I agree, where does the line get drawn. At this point I am trying to get past the "oh my god I'm BP", and trying to live as a person with it, not BP.
I wish we were all closer, what an amazing group of people we would be!
I wish we were all closer, what an amazing group of people we would be!
Stomach surgery and problems.. Oh my.
I remember vividly the first hospitalisation for diverticulitis - I was acute, infected and we later learned micro perforated - one thing I do remember was the first relief of pethedine and how warm the contrast injection felt for the CT - i was running a massive fever.
One thing about my resection I am glad of is they did it lap and I just got a few more scars to join the gall bladder ones except for a larger incision where they had to repair the bowel... And eating after. I managed to put on 35kg not eating much at all before surgery and lost it all post surgery in a month - put some more on again thanks to Remeron (arrghhh) but that will come off again.
I do like the comment on things we do we dont realise. I know there are habits I have which border on self harm if you look at it like that. I sometimes wonder where i end and the disease begins..
I remember vividly the first hospitalisation for diverticulitis - I was acute, infected and we later learned micro perforated - one thing I do remember was the first relief of pethedine and how warm the contrast injection felt for the CT - i was running a massive fever.
One thing about my resection I am glad of is they did it lap and I just got a few more scars to join the gall bladder ones except for a larger incision where they had to repair the bowel... And eating after. I managed to put on 35kg not eating much at all before surgery and lost it all post surgery in a month - put some more on again thanks to Remeron (arrghhh) but that will come off again.
I do like the comment on things we do we dont realise. I know there are habits I have which border on self harm if you look at it like that. I sometimes wonder where i end and the disease begins..
I had a huge incision when the did my surgery, I have a big ol' scar, but at that point being so overweight, I didn't think I had another option, I've been on diets all my life. I now regret it, now that I'm actually dealing with my disordered eating.
I was told to take baby steps, do one thing a day, be gentle on yourself if you can't do more, do more when you can, but make sure you do self-care, whatever that means to you. For me it's eating, I am trying to eat 2-3 meals a day and having fresh fruit and remembering that eating junk is a form of self-harm, many of us BP's do things we dont' realize is self harm. Even if I don't have a shower that day, I make sure I get out, now I'm doing that 5 out of 7 days, even if it's just an errand to go to the store. I now make sure I have a shower at least by the 3rd day, now usually every other day. I have psoriasis and it's been really cold here, so showering every day makes my skin worse anyways, but I am trying to do other things to make myself feel better. Get some nice moisturizer, or a treat to make yourself feel decent. I went to the body shop and got a bunch of nice smelling skin products. Once you start doing a bit of self care, you'll want to do more, that seems to be the case with me. It calms my brain down, I tend to get over sensitive and will react quickly or talk over people. ugh. I am trying to keep my lips zipped and count before I say things, as well as taking more care in what I do.
I hope this helps and you figure a way to communicate with you hubby, sounds like a good guy!
I was told to take baby steps, do one thing a day, be gentle on yourself if you can't do more, do more when you can, but make sure you do self-care, whatever that means to you. For me it's eating, I am trying to eat 2-3 meals a day and having fresh fruit and remembering that eating junk is a form of self-harm, many of us BP's do things we dont' realize is self harm. Even if I don't have a shower that day, I make sure I get out, now I'm doing that 5 out of 7 days, even if it's just an errand to go to the store. I now make sure I have a shower at least by the 3rd day, now usually every other day. I have psoriasis and it's been really cold here, so showering every day makes my skin worse anyways, but I am trying to do other things to make myself feel better. Get some nice moisturizer, or a treat to make yourself feel decent. I went to the body shop and got a bunch of nice smelling skin products. Once you start doing a bit of self care, you'll want to do more, that seems to be the case with me. It calms my brain down, I tend to get over sensitive and will react quickly or talk over people. ugh. I am trying to keep my lips zipped and count before I say things, as well as taking more care in what I do.
I hope this helps and you figure a way to communicate with you hubby, sounds like a good guy!
Sorry you can relate to the stomach issues. I swear I thought I was going to have to wear adult diapers, but in the end, I just starved myself. I've been relatively lucky with my stomach considering my dad had half his removed before he was thirty from ulcers. Whenever I'm feeling too pitiful, I think of what it would be like to have surgery. Yikes - how do they staple your stomach? Big incision or do they do something with lazers or something now? What is that other type of surgery - arthroscopic?
My husband is probably the most normal guy I've dated since maybe high school. The other ones had issues bigger and scarier than mine. It's a shame some of those guy didn't help, but maybe they have by now. I have wrecked a few relationships, but I didn't do it alone, LOL! I think my husband has gotten more willing to acknowledge what's happening, but it is a conversation I have to start. He's not gonna take the initiative and sometimes it is a chore that I can't face. It's tough when you're already overwhelmed by something to be expected to discuss it halfway rationally. That is where I end up frustrated. Notice what's happening and make a gesture or comment. It doesn't seem that hard to me, but it must be impossible for him.
I am already sitting here dreading the fact that I have to take a shower tomorrow. My day never seems to unfold the way I plan it. It's so bad that the dogs think I am going out whenever I take a shower. Oh well.
My husband is probably the most normal guy I've dated since maybe high school. The other ones had issues bigger and scarier than mine. It's a shame some of those guy didn't help, but maybe they have by now. I have wrecked a few relationships, but I didn't do it alone, LOL! I think my husband has gotten more willing to acknowledge what's happening, but it is a conversation I have to start. He's not gonna take the initiative and sometimes it is a chore that I can't face. It's tough when you're already overwhelmed by something to be expected to discuss it halfway rationally. That is where I end up frustrated. Notice what's happening and make a gesture or comment. It doesn't seem that hard to me, but it must be impossible for him.
I am already sitting here dreading the fact that I have to take a shower tomorrow. My day never seems to unfold the way I plan it. It's so bad that the dogs think I am going out whenever I take a shower. Oh well.
You're right humans are downright weird, especially spouses lol. I've had a couple of partners who just put their heads in the sand. It seems to them ignorance was bliss. If I'd had a partner who said, what the heck is going on with your behaviors, it could have helped me get help early, though not blaming them. But I do know it basically ended the relationships.
I sure know about your stomach issues, I had my stomach stapled, and holy c rap batman, literally. They never warned me about that, the anti ulcer medications at first were causing that so badly , I dared not sneeze!
Yeps, three are days when bathing just ain't happening, and sometimes I haven't even eaten, so it's still a challenge at times. I do count the good days, and they are getting better now that I'm on better meds. Sometimes reality smacks ya and it's not fun, but needed. I've been smacked a few times.
I sure know about your stomach issues, I had my stomach stapled, and holy c rap batman, literally. They never warned me about that, the anti ulcer medications at first were causing that so badly , I dared not sneeze!
Yeps, three are days when bathing just ain't happening, and sometimes I haven't even eaten, so it's still a challenge at times. I do count the good days, and they are getting better now that I'm on better meds. Sometimes reality smacks ya and it's not fun, but needed. I've been smacked a few times.
P.S. My husband was also with me when my current psych made the arrogant or narcissistic remark. He was surprised with how much attention the psych has given me this week because he too had gotten the impression that my only recourse outside of business hours would be the ER. He's very happy that the psych saw me so quickly. He knows I'd never go to the ER and he has a hard time acknowledging all this, so he'd probably never take me - and since he's away at the moment, that's moot. It's bizarre to me that he manages to stay detached from this, but I know he's trying. It goes entirely against his life experience to talk about these things because no one ever acknowledges or confronts his mum about her strange behavior. With good reason, btw. I've tried it or forced him to try it a few times. Bad idea. Very, very bad idea. The scene only intensifies.
As much as possible, I involve my husband in my treatment. I need a reality check, first of all. Second of all, he does too. I have been very open about my past. I will discuss anything in front of him. So far...
As much as possible, I involve my husband in my treatment. I need a reality check, first of all. Second of all, he does too. I have been very open about my past. I will discuss anything in front of him. So far...
I think there's a misunderstanding. monkeyc told the story about a GP saying everyone he saw needed to lose weight. He said that to an anorexic patient. I was flabbergasted that a GP wouldn't realize a patient was anorexic and would say something like that to her. I wasn't there when it happened and don't know the people involved.
The neurologist incident was about 6 or 7 years ago. I got so sick with IBS that I couldn't eat anything for about 5 or 6 months without risking incontinence after he put me on massive doses of vitamins. I was furious. The office wouldn't even let me discuss it with him without another expensive consultation, so I wrote a very angry letter. The only real threat was reporting him to the state licensing people although there may have been other things in there. It was mostly venting my anger and frustration and there were not any repercussions. He probably never got it. I bet his staff put it straight in the shredder. I don't remember if I was hypo or not because I don't remember exactly when I wrote the letter. There was a lot of up and downs that started about 6 weeks after I got sick and continued for several months; my dad died, for example and there were other things also. All I remember is starving, carrying spare pants and underwear around in my car and taking a lot more of my stomach meds than usual. You start messing your pants and you tend to get a different perspective on things. It was a difficult time on many levels.
Oh, that neurologist did definitely say there was nothing wrong me psychologically. I saw in the exam room in the dark doing breathing exercises. He asked about my dreams and ambitions and dismissed any quirk as being fine and dandy. He thought I'd find fulfillment by being nuts, I guess. He was way into being true to your nature and marching to your own drummer, etc. I had a really great neuro in TX and this guy was nothing like him. He was very dismissive of mental illness. I have only had a handful of really bad doctor experiences. He was one of them. I know I can be overly sensitive, but that wasn't the case with him. Sometimes docs are blunt or even rude, but are still competent.
The psychiatrists that I have seen here were all very different. One would have been okay except he was freaky-looking and reminded me of the leader of the Halle-Bopp comet cult in California where they all committed suicide (if you remember - it'd probably have been 10 years ago or thereabouts). Then, I was seeing him when I got the head injury and turned out he was no smarter than me. He'd taken a fall on the ice and got knocked out, then wouldn't see a doctor either. I didn't find that reassuring. Made me think his judgment was no better than mine. He let me know at that time there could be repercussions, so some of the problems I had were not a surprise. Overall, he was not a bad guy and if something happened with the psychiatrist I have now, I would go back to him... The second one didn't listen. He just did not listen. My husband sat in on several sessions with me and afterwards I would look for confirmation because I didn't want to be right. No one wants to go in there and think the person is not listening. This guy's eyes glazed over. We both thought it was strange. A friend had recommended him, but I guess she got a different reaction.
I don't think I'm even slightly delusional at the moment. Of course, there's no one else here to decide that objectively.
Glad I'm not alone in the bathing/dressing/going out dept. I don't know what it is about bathing and dressing, especially. I have never been so unkempt so often as I have in the past year or so. Even when I plan to shower, I will procrastinate all day long. Oh well. I have not done too badly. Had a bath yesterday. Should have another tomorrow. Every other day I can live with. It's when it stretches further out that I begin to be disgusted with myself.
The neurologist incident was about 6 or 7 years ago. I got so sick with IBS that I couldn't eat anything for about 5 or 6 months without risking incontinence after he put me on massive doses of vitamins. I was furious. The office wouldn't even let me discuss it with him without another expensive consultation, so I wrote a very angry letter. The only real threat was reporting him to the state licensing people although there may have been other things in there. It was mostly venting my anger and frustration and there were not any repercussions. He probably never got it. I bet his staff put it straight in the shredder. I don't remember if I was hypo or not because I don't remember exactly when I wrote the letter. There was a lot of up and downs that started about 6 weeks after I got sick and continued for several months; my dad died, for example and there were other things also. All I remember is starving, carrying spare pants and underwear around in my car and taking a lot more of my stomach meds than usual. You start messing your pants and you tend to get a different perspective on things. It was a difficult time on many levels.
Oh, that neurologist did definitely say there was nothing wrong me psychologically. I saw in the exam room in the dark doing breathing exercises. He asked about my dreams and ambitions and dismissed any quirk as being fine and dandy. He thought I'd find fulfillment by being nuts, I guess. He was way into being true to your nature and marching to your own drummer, etc. I had a really great neuro in TX and this guy was nothing like him. He was very dismissive of mental illness. I have only had a handful of really bad doctor experiences. He was one of them. I know I can be overly sensitive, but that wasn't the case with him. Sometimes docs are blunt or even rude, but are still competent.
The psychiatrists that I have seen here were all very different. One would have been okay except he was freaky-looking and reminded me of the leader of the Halle-Bopp comet cult in California where they all committed suicide (if you remember - it'd probably have been 10 years ago or thereabouts). Then, I was seeing him when I got the head injury and turned out he was no smarter than me. He'd taken a fall on the ice and got knocked out, then wouldn't see a doctor either. I didn't find that reassuring. Made me think his judgment was no better than mine. He let me know at that time there could be repercussions, so some of the problems I had were not a surprise. Overall, he was not a bad guy and if something happened with the psychiatrist I have now, I would go back to him... The second one didn't listen. He just did not listen. My husband sat in on several sessions with me and afterwards I would look for confirmation because I didn't want to be right. No one wants to go in there and think the person is not listening. This guy's eyes glazed over. We both thought it was strange. A friend had recommended him, but I guess she got a different reaction.
I don't think I'm even slightly delusional at the moment. Of course, there's no one else here to decide that objectively.
Glad I'm not alone in the bathing/dressing/going out dept. I don't know what it is about bathing and dressing, especially. I have never been so unkempt so often as I have in the past year or so. Even when I plan to shower, I will procrastinate all day long. Oh well. I have not done too badly. Had a bath yesterday. Should have another tomorrow. Every other day I can live with. It's when it stretches further out that I begin to be disgusted with myself.
Are you quite hypomanic right now? You seem to have some comments from other pdocs that they said innapropriate things, " That poor anorexic girl!!! I can't believe he was blind enough, insensitive enough to say that". are they saying them or you are hearing it that way? That's the illness. You seem very hypercritical of all medical practitioners.
In my years of having to deal with specialists, I have never run into anything you have said, and I've had a few pdocs, neurologists, rheumatologists, gastroenterologists. Though I did have at one point a GP whom I asked to start back on AD"s, he told me to suck it up and grow up. I changed GP's. I later found out he had several lawsuits out for malpractise and my brother had also filed a complaint against him! He's now not allowed to practise medicine.
You're sending letters that could be construed as being threatening, you need to take a step back and look at you and not them. It sounds like your delusions might be getting really bad, I do hope that the meds settle that down, what a horrid place to be in. Self care is so important, so yeah anything can help, acupuncture is supposed to be great at helping with nervous disorders, so you are starting on a good foot. When the illness rears it's ugly head, I can relate, bathing becomes an option and getting out of the house near impossible.
In my years of having to deal with specialists, I have never run into anything you have said, and I've had a few pdocs, neurologists, rheumatologists, gastroenterologists. Though I did have at one point a GP whom I asked to start back on AD"s, he told me to suck it up and grow up. I changed GP's. I later found out he had several lawsuits out for malpractise and my brother had also filed a complaint against him! He's now not allowed to practise medicine.
You're sending letters that could be construed as being threatening, you need to take a step back and look at you and not them. It sounds like your delusions might be getting really bad, I do hope that the meds settle that down, what a horrid place to be in. Self care is so important, so yeah anything can help, acupuncture is supposed to be great at helping with nervous disorders, so you are starting on a good foot. When the illness rears it's ugly head, I can relate, bathing becomes an option and getting out of the house near impossible.
Yep - I am convinced that most psychiatrists (and psychologists) have a screw loose!!! I'm sure my current psychiatrist has at least ADD. He can't find anything and invariably has to leave the office and fetch my file because he doesn't have it. My file is missing notes and emails which I can only hope are not lost entirely. And, on our first meeting when he was laying it on the line, he said I might think he was arrogant or a narcissist because he tries to keep good boundaries between work and home. That had lead me to think he was very rigid and would be quick to pawn me off on a hospital in time of crisis - until he was so fast to get me into the office and instituted frequent contact until we kicked me down. (He almost seemed a little hurt when I said I didn't think he wanted any after hours calls. Guess he made his point more strongly than he thought, huh?) He would have checked in with me every 2 hours yesterday afternoon and evening if the Zyprexa hadn't knocked me out so well. He does not want me to end up in hospital. He has many bi-polar patients and said there would be no way to treat that many patients without taking some after-hours calls or beeps. Anyway, I'm still working on what else might be wrong with him. I believe he started as an old-fashioned Freudian, which opens up so many possibilities. LOL!
That poor anorexic girl!!! I can't believe he was blind enough, insensitive enough to say that. Okay, I can believe it. Sigh... Doctors do seem to get stuck in a rut, don't they? I'm quick to stop seeing someone if they seem like a one-trick pony. My former regular doc was an osteopath who I loved. My current GP is more...linear or something. Doesn't much think outside the box. Ex-military, which probably explains that rigidity. He is okay, but he has to rely on me to tell him about the meds he's prescribed. He doesn't seem to have a clue, unfortunately. The main draw is that he's 10 minutes from my house and not totally incompetent. Sad but true. My psychiatrist is more like 45 minutes away and so is my previous doc, the DO. The less time I'm in the car the better.
Hey that neurologist was hilarious. I later found out he had a reputation for prescribing medical marijuana. Another doctor I saw just shook his head and then told me about him. The marijuana is not a problem for me or anything (except that I don't have any, ha ha), BUT he refused the migraine meds I'd taken for years because he "didn't prescribe narcotics". Hmmm, okay, technically I suppose he doesn't. My thought at the time was that he was another Boulder hippie who'd wandered too far south. Something about middle-aged men riding Harleys and wearing leathers TO THE OFFICE makes me wanna giggle. Seems...oh, pretentious or something? He was that perfect combo of New Age and Hippie - I swear I expected him to suggest I get some crystals. And maybe one of ya'll can tell me how deep breathing exercises have helped you stop a manic or hypomanic episode - without being on any medication, of course. (Drugs are bad, bad...). Yeah, that's what he said to do and he recommended it for the migraines, too. I can smile now, but I later wrote his office what might have been misinterpreted as a threatening letter. (Hope nothing ever happens to the guy; I'd hate to be a suspect, LOL). It was actually a complaint because he's prescribed massive doses of B vitamins and it sent me into an ongoing IBS attack that lasted for months. And I lost 35 pounds. Or maybe it was coincidence... But, I imagine he could have recommended some lovely peppermint or chamomile teas, LOL! You have to laugh, right? :-)
I need to get started back at acupuncture. I was going once a week and getting both a Chinese facial and a normal treatment. I think it helps, not least of all by forcing me to shower, dress, and leave the house. I have trouble with all of the above. That's about as "alternative" as I'm going to get, though.
That poor anorexic girl!!! I can't believe he was blind enough, insensitive enough to say that. Okay, I can believe it. Sigh... Doctors do seem to get stuck in a rut, don't they? I'm quick to stop seeing someone if they seem like a one-trick pony. My former regular doc was an osteopath who I loved. My current GP is more...linear or something. Doesn't much think outside the box. Ex-military, which probably explains that rigidity. He is okay, but he has to rely on me to tell him about the meds he's prescribed. He doesn't seem to have a clue, unfortunately. The main draw is that he's 10 minutes from my house and not totally incompetent. Sad but true. My psychiatrist is more like 45 minutes away and so is my previous doc, the DO. The less time I'm in the car the better.
Hey that neurologist was hilarious. I later found out he had a reputation for prescribing medical marijuana. Another doctor I saw just shook his head and then told me about him. The marijuana is not a problem for me or anything (except that I don't have any, ha ha), BUT he refused the migraine meds I'd taken for years because he "didn't prescribe narcotics". Hmmm, okay, technically I suppose he doesn't. My thought at the time was that he was another Boulder hippie who'd wandered too far south. Something about middle-aged men riding Harleys and wearing leathers TO THE OFFICE makes me wanna giggle. Seems...oh, pretentious or something? He was that perfect combo of New Age and Hippie - I swear I expected him to suggest I get some crystals. And maybe one of ya'll can tell me how deep breathing exercises have helped you stop a manic or hypomanic episode - without being on any medication, of course. (Drugs are bad, bad...). Yeah, that's what he said to do and he recommended it for the migraines, too. I can smile now, but I later wrote his office what might have been misinterpreted as a threatening letter. (Hope nothing ever happens to the guy; I'd hate to be a suspect, LOL). It was actually a complaint because he's prescribed massive doses of B vitamins and it sent me into an ongoing IBS attack that lasted for months. And I lost 35 pounds. Or maybe it was coincidence... But, I imagine he could have recommended some lovely peppermint or chamomile teas, LOL! You have to laugh, right? :-)
I need to get started back at acupuncture. I was going once a week and getting both a Chinese facial and a normal treatment. I think it helps, not least of all by forcing me to shower, dress, and leave the house. I have trouble with all of the above. That's about as "alternative" as I'm going to get, though.
I have a policy. I never trust a psychiatrist until I work out what is wrong with he or she. And invariably the good ones are the ones I can work it out on - the ones I cannot scare me because invariably they have a screw loose, my friend freely admits that it is a common joke amongst her colleagues as to what is wrong with each other but they all have quirks - she is OCD and thats very common among pdocs apparently...
Maybe the profession attracts them? You would have to be a little crazy to be a psychiatrist anyway I suspect.
I love the neurologist - my last GP was a hoot, no matter what you went to him about part of his advice was always lose weight - the guy was about 65 and apparently he used to give the same advice to everyone he saw regardless of illness - his receptionist told me he once gave the advice to a woman who came in with a cut hand and did not know she was suffering from anorexia - she burst into hysterics in the treatment room and he just stood there mouth open..
Maybe the profession attracts them? You would have to be a little crazy to be a psychiatrist anyway I suspect.
I love the neurologist - my last GP was a hoot, no matter what you went to him about part of his advice was always lose weight - the guy was about 65 and apparently he used to give the same advice to everyone he saw regardless of illness - his receptionist told me he once gave the advice to a woman who came in with a cut hand and did not know she was suffering from anorexia - she burst into hysterics in the treatment room and he just stood there mouth open..
Good. Thanks monkeyc. I figured that had to be it, but then I am a little "aggressive" at the moment and couldn't let it pass unchallenged.
Doctors are often wrong. I think they forget how little they truly know and how much of what they do is something that works for reasons no one understands.
Too right about psychiatrists. The one before this one was just putting in time. My husband had a funny expression about that, but I forgot what he said. He clearly was not listening to most of what I said. I am pleased with this new guy. He seems to listen and he's been very straightforward. He also seems incredibly comfortable with having people show up who are clearly not operating on all cylinders and he was patient when I was babbling on and distracted, etc.
I would have to say that the funniest thing that has happened in regard to my bipolar is when a neurologist said there was nothing wrong with me, that I was a seeker and I should do whatever I wanted. Defy convention, stay up and watch the sunrise, blah blah blah. It was ridiculous. That would be fine if it was 68 and I was hanging with Timothy Leary, but here in the real world, I would like to be reasonably functional and a lot of the time I simply haven't been.
Anyway, right you are.
Doctors are often wrong. I think they forget how little they truly know and how much of what they do is something that works for reasons no one understands.
Too right about psychiatrists. The one before this one was just putting in time. My husband had a funny expression about that, but I forgot what he said. He clearly was not listening to most of what I said. I am pleased with this new guy. He seems to listen and he's been very straightforward. He also seems incredibly comfortable with having people show up who are clearly not operating on all cylinders and he was patient when I was babbling on and distracted, etc.
I would have to say that the funniest thing that has happened in regard to my bipolar is when a neurologist said there was nothing wrong with me, that I was a seeker and I should do whatever I wanted. Defy convention, stay up and watch the sunrise, blah blah blah. It was ridiculous. That would be fine if it was 68 and I was hanging with Timothy Leary, but here in the real world, I would like to be reasonably functional and a lot of the time I simply haven't been.
Anyway, right you are.
He misspoke I believe.
There is a mistaken impression that doctors know what they are doing and thus are gods in ivory towers. Having been through the mill of Diverticulitis and hospitalisation and surgery myself this year and having grown up with a mother who had MS and SLE I have seen more than my share of doctors of all stripes (I have a few as friends to boot) and I have no illusions they are always right.
So no you never take a medication you do not want when there are alternatives just because its what your doctor wants - this is why being an informed consumer is vital for us and why knowing about the drugs used in treatment is so important.
I always smile when people talk about psychiatrists and their perfect skills - there is one where I live who everyone knows - and he is universally considered to be crazy - I have a friend who is a psychiatrist and she says he is known for being, in her words, batshit insane.
Doctors are not always right - and any good patient doctor relationship is a partnership - if a doctor does not want to listen to you and in a pdoc relationship this will be a long term one - then you need to find another doctor, to my mind its that simple
There is a mistaken impression that doctors know what they are doing and thus are gods in ivory towers. Having been through the mill of Diverticulitis and hospitalisation and surgery myself this year and having grown up with a mother who had MS and SLE I have seen more than my share of doctors of all stripes (I have a few as friends to boot) and I have no illusions they are always right.
So no you never take a medication you do not want when there are alternatives just because its what your doctor wants - this is why being an informed consumer is vital for us and why knowing about the drugs used in treatment is so important.
I always smile when people talk about psychiatrists and their perfect skills - there is one where I live who everyone knows - and he is universally considered to be crazy - I have a friend who is a psychiatrist and she says he is known for being, in her words, batshit insane.
Doctors are not always right - and any good patient doctor relationship is a partnership - if a doctor does not want to listen to you and in a pdoc relationship this will be a long term one - then you need to find another doctor, to my mind its that simple
Thank you. I have absolutely no intention of going on this long-term. I would refuse if asked. Simple as that. I have read the package insert. There's no way. Thanks, though. I do worry about diabetes anyway. My grandfather has it now. He has never in his life had a weight problem, but has never had an especially good diet. I eat a little better than him, but am nowhere near being a health nut. So, I'm not interested in taking that drug.
I do notice something curious, though. You say it would be my psychiatrist's decision whether to take it long-term. I vehemently disagree. Unless they have me strapped to a table, it is always my decision. Surely you misspoke?
Thanks again.
I do notice something curious, though. You say it would be my psychiatrist's decision whether to take it long-term. I vehemently disagree. Unless they have me strapped to a table, it is always my decision. Surely you misspoke?
Thanks again.
You'll do fine with it short term but if you intend to take it long term then make sure to keep your weight in check and what you eat and get regular sugar level and cholesterol tests as out of all of the atypicals Zyprexa is the most likely to cause diabetes from long term (not short term use) but it can be monitored for and prevented. But if you are on it long term which is of course your psychiatrist's decision just make sure to monitor your weight and caloric intake as it does create metabolic changes people may not be aware of. I know I gained 35 pounds on it and that's typical. Just a standard thing to keep in mind.
Thanks ya'll. Even though I guess it is not the norm, he does use it as a band-aid. He didn't sound keen on it as a regular treatment. I took one and it did end up knocking me out within about 2 hours - which is pretty quickly. I probably slept a little more than 2 hours. I'm awake now, still not quite right but better. I will take another dose later if I don't go to sleep easily. It's possible that I won't have to take more than a few more.
I notice now I wrote he'd said to take a dose every two hours if I was not awake; obviously, what I meant to say was to take a dose every two hours if I was not asleep. That's about how clearly I've been thinking. I started out apparently in a mixed state sometime Friday, but didn't realize it until Saturday morning when I couldn't sleep Friday night. It's settled down to hypomania and like I said, I had just started to feel good when I saw the doctor this afternoon. The rest of the time I've been battling big-time to stay in control and stay in the real world. It's been a pain. I can't focus, so I've forgotten half of what the doc told me and it's possible he said something that would explain more about how/why he uses Zyprexa in this manner. I kept getting distracted by stuff outside the window.
I appreciate the input. This med hit me like a ton of bricks. My body is so heavy. My head is heavy, too. But, I don't notice anything else strange. Just feel sedated. Hopefully, I will be all right tomorrow. I need to get my labwork done but I can't drive if I still feel like this. It sounds like I will probably be more alert tomorrow. I have to call the psychiatrist when I get up. I have the impression his office is closed all next week. I know he wanted the lab work results by this weekend. Fingers crossed I'll be able to drive because if not, we'll all have to wait until Friday. This is to check on the lithium. That is the only thing I take regularly, but I have only been at this dose for a couple of weeks. I am very surprised because typically I'm depressed a whole lot of the time, so I was worried more about kicking that and less concerned about anything else. I should have been prepared from having so many mixed states in the recent past, but I just wasn't thinking about it. I hope the Zyprexa doesn't make me totally crash!
Thanks again!
I notice now I wrote he'd said to take a dose every two hours if I was not awake; obviously, what I meant to say was to take a dose every two hours if I was not asleep. That's about how clearly I've been thinking. I started out apparently in a mixed state sometime Friday, but didn't realize it until Saturday morning when I couldn't sleep Friday night. It's settled down to hypomania and like I said, I had just started to feel good when I saw the doctor this afternoon. The rest of the time I've been battling big-time to stay in control and stay in the real world. It's been a pain. I can't focus, so I've forgotten half of what the doc told me and it's possible he said something that would explain more about how/why he uses Zyprexa in this manner. I kept getting distracted by stuff outside the window.
I appreciate the input. This med hit me like a ton of bricks. My body is so heavy. My head is heavy, too. But, I don't notice anything else strange. Just feel sedated. Hopefully, I will be all right tomorrow. I need to get my labwork done but I can't drive if I still feel like this. It sounds like I will probably be more alert tomorrow. I have to call the psychiatrist when I get up. I have the impression his office is closed all next week. I know he wanted the lab work results by this weekend. Fingers crossed I'll be able to drive because if not, we'll all have to wait until Friday. This is to check on the lithium. That is the only thing I take regularly, but I have only been at this dose for a couple of weeks. I am very surprised because typically I'm depressed a whole lot of the time, so I was worried more about kicking that and less concerned about anything else. I should have been prepared from having so many mixed states in the recent past, but I just wasn't thinking about it. I hope the Zyprexa doesn't make me totally crash!
Thanks again!
From what I have read, Zyprexa isn't just taken for 3 or 4 days, it's for mania,psychotic breaks and/or mixed episodes. It helps balance you brain chemicals. It's not a bandaid drug. Give it a go, it may take a few days to fully kick in, that will settle down the urges that you've stated, which are very serious including the insomnia. The urge to harm others is NOT normal, it's the BP. Some folks do really well on this drug, so don't freak out about the "horror"' stories. I'm on Lithium, and I've read some doozies, but it's the safest drug out there with years of studies. BP folks with hypo/mania and mixed episodes are usually on AP's, I'm on Seroqual as for that. Hang in there, the storm will calm down.
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