I take two medications for Bipolar Disorder - Gabapentin (300mg twice a day) & Klonopin 0.5 twice a day). Sometimes my speech is slower, especially if I'm in a depressive phase, which I seem to be in now. Although slower speech (not slurred) had been observed prior to medication, along with confusion & memory loss before my diagnosis.
I am getting out of a manic stage, where my speech was rapid. (No sleep, agitation, spending sprees, etc).
I now seem to be coming "down" from that manic state. No longer confused, sleeping better, memory improved but I'm leaning towards isolation, sadness & depression. Yesterday I was asked if I was drunk on a phone conversation. VERY sore subject to me as I got sober 5 years ago and it's something I can feel good about. (I suffer from extreme low self esteem).
Later in the day I got mad at my son (for a very valid reason) and he said, "You're on drugs". Yes, that's true - meds prescribed and I take them as prescribed. (He has BPI, and I found out he's not taking his mood stabilizer as directed).
I hate being doubted. It cuts me to the core. Drugs were never my issue, I self medicated with alcohol.
I guess my feelings are very hurt & I'm offended. I'm trying everything to get "better" and instead of support from my family I get accusations.
Anyone else have similar experiences, and how do you deal with them?
Well, you are on drugs, but I suspect breakthrough depression or maybe the Klonopin is to blame. Depression can cause major motor and speech slowing, and I mean major. I've had a couple of times where I couldn't speak and felt unable to move, like I was trapped in my own body. I was able to do automatic things that I didn't think about more easily, but sometimes it was all I could do to move at all. Thankfully these have only ever lasted a few hours. But just being majorly slowed down is a known side effect of depression.
Either you or his psychiatrist needs to explain to your son exactly why taking his meds sporadically is a really bad idea. And maybe you could agree on some sort of reward schedule (maybe even a star chart), where if you watch him take his meds right for a certain amount of time he gets a reward that he wants.
I know how it feels to be questioned on your sobriety. When I am clean my cycles of mania and depression are hard for people to understand (since I had been using for a solid 6 years). When people see me manic they assume that I am high as a kite so I have had to explain tto all of my friends and family that this is something they are going to have to get use to and not to question my sobriety because it could cause a relapse because of my insecurities.
As far as the slow speech I can also relate because when I come out of a manic spell into depression my concentration goes down so much that I can barely speak at all. I am often interrupted because I am talking so slow and I cannot verbalize the point I am trying to make. Don't worry if you get stable it will go away. Good luck bud,
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