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Talking to myself
by Crystlas, Mar 28, 2008 12:57AM
Hello my fellow bipolars. I have had this strange habit for most of my life, in fact, I think since early childhood. I have this constant voice in my head and I conversate with it all the time. It is kind of me talking in my head, but I ask it questions and I answer it. Am I crazy or is this normal for bipolars? I was getting ready for bed just now and having a conversation with my brain voice and thought, I wonder if other bipolars do this? I talk to myself all the time, even out shopping. People probably think I am a crazy person. Atleast I am not a lonely person, I always have my brain friend! LOL Thanks!
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I've ALWAYS done this and it seems the older I get the worse it gets. Was so glad when my son was born so that I actually looked like I was talking TO somebody else. Ppl look at me all the time when I'm shopping like I've lost my mind. I just tell them something like "Help, I'm talking and I can't shut up." or "Sorry, I like to talk so much it doesn't matter if anyone's listening or not." They usually just laugh and say something about knowing ppl like me. Don't know if that's an insult or not, but at least they we can both laugh.
"My brain friend"! That's too funny. Unfortunately my brain friend isn't any smarter than I am. *sigh* =^)
Sometimes it's nice to know what I'm going to do, but sometimes it just wears on me having all those "future plans".
It is a fine line between genius and nuts!! LOL Yeah, I'm walking that line everyday! ROFLMBO!!! I'm just NUTS!
jeh, laugh away! My life is either quite comical or quite the tragedy. I pick comical!
Love Venora
I talk to myself, rehearse conversations (that might never actually happen). re-run conversations iv had etc. i even have arguments (that again might never happen)
sometimes i have to watch myself as i get tempted to do it in public when im on my own!
you think its a bipolat trait?
I don't have a shrink, but just about everyone around knows it and they think I'm completely nuts. So do the ppl in Wal-Mart come to think of it. Spent waaayyyy too much time going from store to store shopping the other day, for necessities nothing interesting, and the longer I was out in public the worse it got. At one point "we" were discussing oatmeal. My part of the conversation was out loud.
Maybe we should all just put one of those blue tooth things in our ears when we're out in public. Then if anyone looks at us funny they'll see it. I really HATE those things. I'm always answering the ppl b/c I think they're talking to me! Anybody else do that? Talk about feeling like a fool. They always give me the dumbest looks like the top of my head just opened up or something.
Does anyone else ever think we should have flip-top heads so we could massage our brains when we get really bad headaches? I'm really not on anything tonight. Not even the least little bit hyper. I just think of these things in normal everyday thoughts. Right now I have a headache from laughing too much earlier.
Ok, I'll stop now. Well, not just yet. When I told a friend recently about being bipolar he said, "It's okay, I still like both of you." LOL Cracked me up! Okay, now I quit.
The other day I was talking to the canteloupes and telling them they didn't smell good. Does that count? Oh, man, now I'm talking to inantimate objects! That may be worse than the person in my head. Hope no therapist is reading this.
On my cell phone I have the ring tone of "They're Coming to Take Me Away" hehe Think next time I got shopping I'll just put it on that one. Forgot I even had it. Better be careful when I go to my car though and make sure there's no wagon for the funny farm waiting on me. =^}{ LOL
That's what I was trying to do with the "Vampire" thread and a couple of others. Think we all need to laugh about this more or we really would go insane.
HUGS
Dac
You guys seem to enjoy your voice i wish mine will go away cause it strips my confidence x x
The only ones I don't like now are the ones that say things like, "Do you REALLY think you need that?" or "You know you can't afford that." or "Step away from the sugar, you're a diabetic!!" Those just drive me insane! LOL
For example if im in work it will tell me that i will never cope working till im 65 and i should give you now
it will tell me im never truely happy so whats the point in taking my meds
This is why i smoke pot it stops the voice and makes every day life easier for me this is why i find it hard to give up
Some days i wish i could give up i have no get up and go in me anymore the sparkle that i once had has gone im not the same person i use to be the free spirit has gone :(
cheeklollipop- If u ignore that voice and take charge of it a new one began's to overcome it and it's a good voice it's like out with the bad and in with the good everyone has a bad voice it drowns out the good voice sound's crazy I know butmy bad voice still comes up I just had to to take charge I just read DLA she hit the nail on the head and that's ur conciouse LOL see ur's is nicer then mine mine say's ur discusting and fat mine is really mean it makes me paranoid 2 eat at times especially sence I love salty food I hate that voice it's totally MY MOM GERRRRRRRR!!!!!
Maybe it's my age that makes it easier for me to be able to deal with all this. It's been a long road for me and I've had a lot more time than the 2 of you have.
My voice tells me I'm fat all the time. And you know what? It's right, I am. But I've been through a lot of medical problems that have caused this. So I just go and don't care what ppl think. I have to say to myself, "You know what? They don't know what I've been through and if that's all they're judging me by they're missing the best part of me." And I truly believe that now. I am basically the person I always wanted to be. I am independant, smart, ocassionally funny, and a devout Christian. My heart is right where I want it to be.
Think that's the part you have to get right before everything else falls into place.
Cheeek, I really don't think you will have control over the voices until you get control of the pot. As long as there is something that you do that makes you ashamed of yourself YOU can't be the person you want or need to be. I know that you smoke it b/c you think it controls the voices better, but it obviously doesn't, it just gives them more fuel for the fire. You need to be on the meds and in therapy to learn to cope with your bp. The pot is only making things much worse on you.
You deserve to get help! You deserve to be the best you that you can be! There is absolutely nothing in this world you aren't capable of doing if you decide you can! Chant that, remember that, make that what you live by and it will get so much easier over time.
My mom's voice is not in my head, it's next door to me. But I don't have to listen to her either.
I asked my husband if he did this, because I assumed we all do it, but alas, we don't all have that problem...........
It makes me feel much better knowing I am not the only one that does this............I feel normal again (whatever normal is anyway................)
I think I am ******* crazy as well. There's a voice in my head too! It's not like I think it's really someone else although it seems to have different thoughts from me about everything. Well I don't know if it's different thoughts more like I personally don't have any opinions really and this voice in my head just randomly decides to have thoughts because he is annoyed with me not having actual thoughts of my own.
Also I don't really like talking with other people because I feel really nervous that they will see how weird I am. So I try to "act normally" by making all the expressions that I see most people make, and I try to "think from their point of view" to try to make those expressions like smiling and laughing at the right time.
But I feel like I don't really feel these things. If that makes sense? I know it doesn't and yet I can't make it make sense. I hate how I can't keep a logical coherent train of thought--for example just look at how I am typing and how this is meandering everywhere--but when I try to think "logically" I just kind of shut down.
I mean that trying to put my emotions and thoughts in an order that will make sense to other people is plainly impossible for me to be honest.
Like I try to listen to people and follow what they are saying but although I am hearing and understanding the individual words coming out of their mouths it just doesn't "connect" in a manner that makes sense in my head. And people look at me like I am stupid although I know that isn't true. They get that look on their face that says "you aren't hearing anything I'm saying are you?" And I think they are hurt and then I feel extreme guilt and become nervous.
Speaking of nervousness, it is constant and extremely frustrating. I want to be able to be normal like I see people act in movies, with honest and open expressions of love and happiness and sadness, but all I feel is fear and worry and suspicion and ...
I don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I am interested in things but only rarely and only in weird ways. I wish I could be more specific, but another problem that exacerbates everything is that I cannot remember anything. At least not in the way most people do.
For　example I cannot tell people about what I did yesterday or today or anything without great effort. And I can't capture in words how I liked my experiences or how they made me feel. I will look at the sky sometimes and cry at the beauty and have no idea how to express this. I say "the sky is so beautiful" but I don't think people understand. And, most frustrating of all, I CANT TELL ANYONE HOW THIS FEELS because any words I use always come out garbled and nonsensiscal so I just do not talk. Some types of people don't mind my inability to come up with anything to say in a conversation and they just talk and talk, and it's like I hear and sometimes I can follow what they are saying but usually not, and I don't know how to express that I'm listening or how to comment on what they said.
And it's not like I don't feel things or have any thoughts, although a lot of the time I think that is true.
I don't know. I usually just give up halfway when trying to talk to someone because I see they don't understand what I'm talking about and HELL even I don't.
Jesus christ what is wrong with me.
If anyone read this, I want to apologize for making no sense, but also thank you for listening, maybe you understand in a way.
there is only one way to call it wrong. if someone asks me whether talikng to oneself is right or wrong, OF COURSE i would say this is nut, it's crazy and not done, but it doesn't mean i don't do it. For example, it's quite known that cleaning the inside of my nose with my fingers is unethical, this doesn;'t mean that i never did it
i don't see anything wrong talking to oneself
"repeating themselves and also rehearsal conversations and obsessive thoughts/conversations, thats where i am right now and not sure what to make of it." I too have this happen, and have for a long time, it does get worse, and now that I am semi stable on Lamictal it has calmed down a bit, and I catch myself doing it, and can stop. But the rehearsal conversations, sometimes I'll be thinking about a conversation thats not going to happen, just a possible conversation, and I'll get stuck on one particular phrase and repeat it over and over in my head or in a whisper until I catch myself and stop. ILAD or hell1971, or anyone, do you know what that is?
Like I said, w/ the Lamictal and my mood stabilized better it has slowed down quite a bit, but still I catch myself doing it? Anyhow...thanks.