Bipolar Disorder Community
Talking to myself
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Talking to myself

Hello my fellow bipolars.  I have had this strange habit for most of my life, in fact, I think since early childhood.  I have this constant voice in my head and I conversate with it all the time.  It is kind of me talking in my head,  but I ask it questions and I answer it.  Am I crazy or is this normal for bipolars?  I was getting ready for bed just now and having a conversation with my brain voice and thought, I wonder if other bipolars do this?  I talk to myself all the time, even out shopping.  People probably think I am a crazy person.   Atleast I am not a lonely person, I always have my brain friend! LOL  Thanks!
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LOL!!!  Glad to know I'm not alone in this!!  We're both nuts. ;-)

I've ALWAYS done this and it seems the older I get the worse it gets.  Was so glad when my son was born so that I actually looked like I was talking TO somebody else.  Ppl look at me all the time when I'm shopping like I've lost my mind.  I just tell them something like "Help, I'm talking and I can't shut up."  or "Sorry, I like to talk so much it doesn't matter if anyone's listening or not."  They usually just laugh and say something about knowing ppl like me.  Don't know if that's an insult or not, but at least they we can both laugh.

"My brain friend"!   That's too funny.  Unfortunately my brain friend isn't any smarter than I am.  *sigh*    =^)
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I do it all the time my hubby getts so frustrated he's like do u ever not talk and I don't think so I even talk in my sleep i'm so serious. If I see something I contimplate it aloud I thought it was normal until he pointed it out sometimes I don't even notice it or if I wan;t to tak=lk to someone about something I run the sinario of how it may go in my head befor I bring it up It help's with my delivery I think if everyone did it they may not be so angry all the time LOL........ or bored with them self
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You three are something else.....I guess i can join yall,because i do the same thing!!!Everything yall wrote above is me to a T. I have conversations with myself,always have!! I always blamed it on growing up with older parents and no other brothers and sisters @ home @ the time. At least we never get lonely,we have ourselves! I analyze everything,talk to myself and answer myself. People ask me who are you talking to? I say oh, nobody!! Could i be Bipolar? Ahhh, i don't think so!!! At least i know i'm not the only one that does this..Have yall ever heard the more educated you are, the nuttier you are??? WELL?????.
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I am not crazy, just NUTS! LOL... This is reassuring, cause I always wondered why I did it.  Do you think it is because we are BP or just a bit nutty??
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What actually makes the Dx. of you being Labeled bipolar? I think we all have alittle touch,of course some have alot more than others...Just wondering ...I think everybody is nuts,to a degree!!!!
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Extreme symptoms of mania and depression.  However, there is also "soft bipolar" where individuals experience frequent, but low level symptoms of bipolar.  I was diagnosed with just depression several years ago and then little manic spells seeped in, but I did not know what they were.  Then I got highly manic a year ago January and they put me through the testing and I passed with flying colors!  So, there was definate bipolar there.  Have you done any research on it to read about the diagnosis?  I can give you some great websites if you want.  I have done tons and bookmarked the best sites I came across.  In the DSM you have to have five symptoms of each side to be properly diagnosed.
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I play out most scenarios in my head, too!!  Conversations to come, conversations I've already had, things that might possibly come up in my life time.  LOL  But you know when my fil died I already had everything planned out in my mind that I was going to do to get my dh home.  No, he wasn't even sick!  Go figure.  So it all worked out just the way I had planned it and dh didn't fall apart at work or anything.  Now I have a plan for my mil.  She's 86, be turning 87 soon, so it's not out of the realm of possibilities.

Sometimes it's nice to know what I'm going to do, but sometimes it just wears on me having all those "future plans".  

It is a fine line between genius and nuts!!  LOL Yeah, I'm walking that line everyday!   ROFLMBO!!!  I'm just NUTS!  
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I know this is not funny at all, but i am laughing my a$$ off right now!!!! Oh my gosh,I did the same thing,I went to my daddy's funeral,he was still alive!!!!! I have even been to my own!!! I am not kidding you, I really have!! I have been to alot of people's. It does wear you out! I talk to myself constantly,not always outloud,tho. You have to watch that,Right!? People might think wer'e nuts!!! I am still laughing so hard.......LOL.......
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No,I have never actually read alot about Bipolar. I have known several people that had the Dx. of being Bipolar......For some reason,I always thought they were just acting that way. You know what i mean,they could control these episodes,just chose not to. Maybe i was wrong! I worked @ a nusing home where we had this one woman,nice as she could be, but nuts!!! She would tear her room up @ night!!!!! She was on med.,just didn't do her much good. This one older man (91) year old,said he had a chemical imbalance,lord,he would be 3-4 different people ,sometimes during the same conversation!! He had a Dx. of Bipolar...This was a sad situation. I had an instructor in college that was really out there. He was smart,but had no common sense. He said he was Bipolar(just alittle),had a wife that was a Dr. (She was a nut case,too) They were both real nice.......
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Nope, we can not control our highs and lows w/o the proper medication.  I hate stigma attached to stuff.  I used to think like you and then...BAM  I find out that I am bipolar and very much so.  I have the worst kind there is, in fact.  Bipolar I rapid cycling, mixed state.  Anyhow, it sucks not being able to control myself.  I hate it so very much.  I am on great meds now and feeling stable.  My thinking pattern is totally different when I am manic, stable or depressed.
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I agree!  I use to think ppl with bp were absolutely NUTS until I read about it and went "Hey, that's me!"   Hmmmmm. . . . .

jeh, laugh away!  My life is either quite comical or quite the tragedy.  I pick comical!
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Agreed, I am learning to roll with that ugly little man living in there.  He is behaving lately..yeah!  I just dowsed him with Wellbutrin...darn SOB of a guy!!  LOL.... see I make jokes about being BP and it is much nicer to live with!  Gotta roll with the punches.  Gosh a year ago, my life was bonkers.  Being stable rocks!  I hope these meds continue to keep me this way.  Now if I could only get the boyfriend, previous fiance, thing straightened out life would be close to perfect!  Time will tell....
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Glad both of you can have a good laugh...It does us good!! I laugh @ myself everyday. I talk to myself all the time,cry,cuss alittle, I rationalize everything....I figure out what I'll do before it has actually happened. People say..Why are you so cool, I want to say $#it,I have already done this several hundred times in my mind!!!!! I was fairly calm @ my daddy's funeral, had already been to it @ least 50 times. It went pretty much as i planned it. Do you think alot of people think these things? They just keep them bottled up. I don't talk about it, untill yall. My sons ex-girlfriend is on Paxil,i love her to death. She is way out there,especially when she doesn't take her med. Yall do know i was laughing with yall,not @ you. Okay... Well guess I will go...Talk to yall later
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Little voices in our head are common for everybody.  Like I watched this episode of the View one day (i dont knw why) and Barbara Walters was talking about this little voice in her head.  I was like freakin Barbara Walters is talking about a little person inside her head.  But then I realized we all have this.  To this day I have it all the time.  But now I realize its not me going nuts.  Its like the Holy spirit or my conscience trying to help in my everyday activities.  Its like a guidance for what you should do.
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Haha I have ongoing converstation in my head all the time and when I am manic it gets really loud. then I tel it to shutup and I get on with my life lol
Love Venora
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I believe it is our conscience, our brains are quite powerful.  Because it is me talking to myself, hence the name of this thread.  It is not a little voice for me, but like I am communication with another person.  It is that I just talk back, answer it's questions along with asking it questions and getting an answer.  I was just curious if that is a bipolar thing.  
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man' without my voices I think they would lock me up 4 sure it may be what set's me off at times and can get my blood boiling but usually it's what calms me and eases sooo much pain it's my very best freind the only one that under stands everything I'm going through the only one who can feel what I feel and say everything will be just fine without a single judgement with out a rude opinion unless I need to be put in my place. Ya it can be the **** sturer too but thats the other voice now I really sound nuts but only the people who truely go through it understand how it motivates u to be a better u it rationalises ur feelings when everyone else is looking down at u it tell's me too go paint get it out on the canves or just wright put it all down get it all out but in a healthy way and then when I look at it I cansee or read exactly what I was feeling It's incredible. I LOVE MY VOICE BECAUSE IT HELPS ME TO USE MY TRUE VOICE AND JUST BE ME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> COMPLETELY FREE
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ROCK ON!!!!!!  I could not have said it better myself!!  My voice lets me know if I am doing something wrong, but when it comes to eating junk food or something silly like that, we are both in trouble!! LOL....I think my voice loves chocolate more than I do!!  
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Unfortunately for me, mine like to argue more than I do.  LOL  But of course I play along.  ;-)
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You are a trip girly!!  LOL!!  I only have that one voice and we argue, but I always win!!  :0-)
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Hahaha i dont believe what im reading here. i do the EXACT same thing as you guys. iv allways done it..as long as i can remember!! I thought i was just wierd or something LOL.
I talk to myself, rehearse conversations (that might never actually happen). re-run conversations iv had etc. i even have arguments (that again might never happen)
sometimes i have to watch myself as i get tempted to do it in public when im on my own!
you think its a bipolat trait?
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I think so.  I am so glad I am not crazy and glad I started this thread.  I was worried everyone would think I was nuts, but now I feel much better because you guys do this too! LOL....Other people that I know have told me I am nuts for doing this.  Who wants to volunteer to ask their psychiatrist??  Hmm...I wonder if there is info. about it?
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yea i wonder? nobody else knows i do this. iv actually tried stopping but i couldnt. i do it without thinking. i dont know how i would approach the subject with my psych doc... i have a feeling he would dismiss it. hes like that!
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I was thinking if we do tell our doc's will they think we are insane and pump us full of more drugs ??? LOL!!  I am quite happy on my two, feeling great.  I think we should create a secret society that only bipolars know about.  We can have meetings to discuss the people in our head.  We could create a program in order to understand and work in accordance with our brain person.   Any other ideas?  HA HA HA... I am in a silly mood!!!  
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Sooo I was telling my hubby about this and how it's not just me and he goes ohhh my gosh like there are other people who talk to them selves and talk a lot and like i'm talking a lot about talking a lot LOL................. ya I am really glad u did this tooo because I thought it was just me too it's soo nice to know ur not completely alone but I'm not talking 2 my shrink about it how about u
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Ok, Crystlas, let's just clear this up right now.  You are crazy.  LOL  Yeah, I'm in a silly mood, too.

I don't have a shrink, but just about everyone around knows it and they think I'm completely nuts.  So do the ppl in Wal-Mart come to think of it.  Spent waaayyyy too much time going from store to store shopping the other day, for necessities nothing interesting, and the longer I was out in public the worse it got.  At one point "we" were discussing oatmeal.  My part of the conversation was out loud.  

Maybe we should all just put one of those blue tooth things in our ears when we're out in public.  Then if anyone looks at us funny they'll see it.  I really HATE those things.  I'm always answering the ppl b/c I think they're talking to me!  Anybody else do that?  Talk about feeling like a fool.  They always give me the dumbest looks like the top of my head just opened up or something.

Does anyone else ever think we should have flip-top heads so we could massage our brains when we get really bad headaches?  I'm really not on anything tonight.  Not even the least little bit hyper.  I just think of these things in normal everyday thoughts.  Right now I have a headache from laughing too much earlier.

Ok, I'll stop now.  Well, not just yet.  When I told a friend recently about being bipolar he said, "It's okay, I still like both of you."  LOL  Cracked me up!   Okay, now I quit.
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I am loving this forum and especially your humor!!!   Ha, I am glad I started this thread, we get comic relief and are able to laugh at ourselves.  I hate those blue tooth things too, but ya know what?  We could order broken ones off of ebay really cheap and then no one will know we are talking to ourself in public...hmm  I am liking this idea!!  When I am out shopping I catch people looking at me like I am strange too.  I sometimes do not even notice anyone else and am happily discussing what I should buy with my brain buddy.  I bet everyone else in this forum prefers shopping alone like I do.  I don't need ANOTHER shopping buddy, one is just fine!! LOL....The funnier part is when I see someone else doing it, I look at them weird.  I think next time I will ask them if they are bipolar.  Do you think I will earn a black eye or be received well?   I am so glad that there are other bipolars that are just as lighthearted about this crazy illness as I am!!  :0-)  I would go really nuts if I was not!  
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Wow! I thought I was alone on this one :) I have a feeling though that people who are not bipolar experience this as well.
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Avatar_f_tn
There is a lot of ppl who talk to themselves even w/o bipolar and w/ it alot of ppl need to talk to someone about something when someone isnt there, instead of keeping it to yourself they tell a "friend". i thought i was crazy when i heard voices in my head, while ppl would stare at me like im some type of lunatic. You just always have a friend w/ u to talk to. LOL now i know i am not alone.
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Yep, I am my own best friend.  We have so much fun together!!  I am glad to hear stable folks do it too!  Ahh..makes me a little bit less crazy!!!!!!!  
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I totall yhate shopping with others I get soo frustrated because I like to look at everything and take my time do u ever just contimplate clothes and talk aloud like ya I want this but don't u think it will make my hips look HUGE lol and people are looking at u like umm who is she asking I have even had people respond to my questions that was funny I hate those blue tooth things to they r talking sooo loud i totally think there talking to me to I love this forum and am sooo glad u started it because if I need to be cheered up I get on here and crack up thank's this is great sooo I found a hola hoop  and started doing it in the store people were looking at me like what afreak but its a great workout and I was surprised I still had it sooo I had to buy it man I am such a kid doooo any of  u juastlike to act hella goofy at stores like a kid I think my daughter has fun with it to Im like a big 5 year old lol mu hubby gets soop frustrated sometimes but hay u only live once and who cares what everyone else thinks I'm not hurting anyone so hay next time ur at the store just go to toy's r us and play u don't even have to buy anything lol
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My problem is I can't find a hula hoop to fit me any more.  Maybe I should try at the zoo.  Whatta ya think?  Ever seen a hula hooping elephant?   lol

The other day I was talking to the canteloupes  and telling them they didn't smell good.  Does that count?  Oh, man, now I'm talking to inantimate objects!  That may be worse than the person in my head.  Hope no therapist is reading this.

On my cell phone I have the ring tone of "They're Coming to Take Me Away"  hehe   Think next time I got shopping I'll just put it on that one.    Forgot I even had it.  Better be careful when I go to my car though and make sure there's no wagon for the funny farm waiting on me.  =^}{    LOL
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I meant to tell you thanks for starting this thread.  My personal theory is life's too serious to be taken seriously!  Am glad to finally see ppl laughing on here.  Think it makes us all closer to laugh about bp together.  

That's what I was trying to do with the "Vampire" thread and a couple of others.  Think we all need to laugh about this more or we really would go insane.

HUGS
Dac
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No prob.  I agree wholeheartedly.  We need to laugh some of our stressful issues off on here!  This is a funny thread, but at the same time totally real.  That is the scary uhh..funny uhh...scary part!!  LOL  :0-)
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I have a voice in my head that i talk to but it doesnt say nice things its always telling me to run away and telling me i cant cope is that normal
You guys seem to enjoy your voice i wish mine will go away cause it strips my confidence x x
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If your voice is not healthy, you might want to bring it up to your therapist!
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I use to have more than one voice like that.  Was rather amazing that once my therapist said, "That's just a hallucination, you know."  I was able to send it packing.  It still comes along some times, but now I just tell it to go away.  Remember that it's not real, just like our silly ones, but you can choose to not listen to it and make it go away.  You have to take the control away from the crazy voices and only listen to the ones you need to hear or are friendly.

The only ones I don't like now are the ones that say things like, "Do you REALLY think you need that?"  or  "You know you can't afford that." or "Step away from the sugar, you're a diabetic!!"  Those just drive me insane!  LOL
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It strange it will stay things like you dont really want to be here do you? why dont you just walk out.....then i will tell it i cant do that......it will then tell me its easier to run away and give up.
For example if im in work it will tell me that i will never cope working till im 65 and i should give you now
it will tell me im never truely happy so whats the point in taking my meds

This is why i smoke pot it stops the voice and makes every day life easier for me this is why i find it hard to give up
Some days i wish i could give up i have no get up and go in me anymore the sparkle that i once had has gone im not the same person i use to be the free spirit has gone :(
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DLA- I got it at the St. vinny's a thrift store it's pritty big because the bigger it is the easier it is I tried a small one OMG I couldn't even get it around ounce LOL but ur funny an elephant hola hooping that would be funny I like crazy ***** as my ringtone

cheeklollipop- If u ignore that voice and take charge of it a new one began's to overcome it and it's a good voice it's like out with the bad and in with the good everyone has a bad voice it drowns out the good voice sound's crazy I know butmy bad voice still comes up I just had to to take charge I just read DLA she hit the nail on the head and that's ur conciouse LOL see ur's is nicer then mine mine say's ur discusting and fat mine is really mean it makes me paranoid 2 eat at times especially sence I love salty food  I hate that voice it's totally MY MOM GERRRRRRRR!!!!!
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Free cheeks?  LOL

Maybe it's my age that makes it easier for me to be able to deal with all this.  It's been a long road for me and I've had a lot more time than the 2 of you have.

My voice tells me I'm fat all the time.  And you know what?  It's right, I am.  But I've been through a lot of medical problems that have caused this.  So I just go and don't care what ppl think.  I have to say to myself, "You know what?  They don't know what I've been through and if that's all they're judging me by they're missing the best part of me."  And I truly believe that now.  I am basically the person I always wanted to be.  I am independant, smart, ocassionally funny, and a devout Christian.  My heart is right where I want it to be.

Think that's the part you have to get right before everything else falls into place.

Cheeek, I really don't think you will have control over the voices until you get control of the pot.  As long as there is something that you do that makes you ashamed of yourself YOU can't be the person you want or need to be.  I know that you smoke it b/c you think it controls the voices better, but it obviously doesn't, it just gives them more fuel for the fire.  You need to be on the meds and in therapy to learn to cope with your bp.  The pot is only making things much worse on you.

You deserve to get help!  You deserve to be the best you that you can be!  There is absolutely nothing in this world you aren't capable of doing if you decide you can!  Chant that, remember that, make that what you live by and it will get so much easier over time.

My mom's voice is not in my head, it's next door to me.  But I don't have to listen to her either.  
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I use to smoke MJ all the time it stoped my head sooo I thought it was stopping the voices also but it stoped everything it gave me afalse image of happiness and it made thing's worse in the long run I could do the dash but not the marathon and life is a marathon if u won't the quick easy fix drug's will give u that but if u want the REAL U it takes a whole lot more work just like a relationship I think DLA is Sooo right and u know with age and experience comes knowledge if were willing to see that and accept that and by accepting ur self for who u really are the good and the bad because we all have both u will in time find happiness and this will make life easier and maybe u wont have to depend on medication but in the beginning it is a good way to balance ur brain and get through a lot of ur therpy stuff u r ashamed to say because these voices tell u everyone is judging and if they r ohhh well Dla is right if they only want to see that it's there loss I'm sure it took her a while to relise it and yes times r tough and u feel sooo alone but that's life one big chalange to over come now the question is r u going to win this war and relise this is a gift not a burden use it to ur advantage this disorder gives us thing's people wish they had but there r allways concequences with the good ther must be bad if not we couldnt appreciate the good with out hate we would never know how love felt it's the ying and the yang they come hand in hand just dont see the bad focus on the good it will be the only thing that will hold ur head up above the water in this time of struggle u either sink or swim here is ur life vest read it every day and u will be amased at the differrent things that pop out at u and how ur veiws change
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U r funny crack me up and ur very wise I like the way u view things there's no beating around the bush with u u just come right out and say it but ur not rude or harsh about it either u do it in a graceful manner THANK YOU I REALLY RESPECT THAT  and sometimes the truth hurt's a little I try not to worry about what others think but I am a people p[leaser even if I am sacrificigmy self I need to learn how not to do that I then bottle it all in and then explode about the dunbest thing my biggest challenge and loudest voice my head is starting to hurt to much thinking LOL Im going into overload WOW I think I really just need to put my glasses on ugh I can't stand them and should never take them off but there I go again worried about my image and I'm home with my 5 year old now what sence does that make non at all LOL
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I am so tired from yesterdays work and trying to keep up w/posts so bear with me.  Anyhow, I miss pot a hole heck of alot but quit because I do not want it messing with my meds or being bipolar.  It always makes me depressed after I use.  I love the high, hate the down.  I wish I could do it and not feel so yucky afterwards.  However, being stable is more important to me than getting high!
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I concur I love it but not the after effect's and It pulls me in I just can't go there with substances I have THAT kind of personality u know and it will be all I think about eventually and it can make me lazy at times but when I getmanic I need it to calm my mind down sooo now I do positive thing's with my manic episodes like wright poetry or even just wright feeling's and then I do art I love art I wish I pushed my self more there and had the $ to take classes to learn more I love to learn
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:)   I not only hear that voice, but I've gotten strange looks at the store because I will talk with myself out loud (not so loud everyone hears me)  all of the time.
I asked my husband if he did this, because I assumed we all do it, but alas, we don't all have that problem...........
It makes me feel much better knowing I am not the only one that does this............I feel normal again (whatever normal is anyway................)
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LOL, I just love those stares I get at the store.  I am really bad about it when I am grocery shopping.  Me and my brain friend just have a difficult time deciding what we want for food that week.  I have to argue with her all the darn time.  She gets on my nerves sometimes!! :-)  Seriously, I do have to speak outloud to make my decisions and my inner voice and I do have to negotiate!
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[apologies for derailing like crazy but I will still post this in the hopes someone understands]

I think I am ******* crazy as well. There's a voice in my head too! It's not like I think it's really someone else although it seems to have different thoughts from me about everything. Well I don't know if it's different thoughts more like I personally don't have any opinions really and this voice in my head just randomly decides to have thoughts because he is annoyed with me not having actual thoughts of my own.

Also I don't really like talking with other people because I feel really nervous that they will see how weird I am. So I try to "act normally" by making all the expressions that I see most people make, and I try to "think from their point of view" to try to make those expressions like smiling and laughing at the right time.

But I feel like I don't really feel these things. If that makes sense? I know it doesn't and yet I can't make it make sense. I hate how I can't keep a logical coherent train of thought--for example just look at how I am typing and how this is meandering everywhere--but when I try to think "logically" I just kind of shut down.

I mean that trying to put my emotions and thoughts in an order that will make sense to other people is plainly impossible for me to be honest.

Like I try to listen to people and follow what they are saying but although I am hearing and understanding the individual words coming out of their mouths it just doesn't "connect" in a manner that makes sense in my head. And people look at me like I am stupid although I know that isn't true. They get that look on their face that says "you aren't hearing anything I'm saying are you?" And I think they are hurt and then I feel extreme guilt and become nervous.

Speaking of nervousness, it is constant and extremely frustrating. I want to be able to be normal like I see people act in movies, with honest and open expressions of love and happiness and sadness, but all I feel is fear and worry and suspicion and ...

I don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I am interested in things but only rarely and only in weird ways. I wish I could be more specific, but another problem that exacerbates everything is that I cannot remember anything. At least not in the way most people do.

For example I cannot tell people about what I did yesterday or today or anything without great effort. And I can't capture in words how I liked my experiences or how they made me feel. I will look at the sky sometimes and cry at the beauty and have no idea how to express this. I say "the sky is so beautiful" but I don't think people understand. And, most frustrating of all, I CANT TELL ANYONE HOW THIS FEELS because any words I use always come out garbled and nonsensiscal so I just do not talk. Some types of people don't mind my inability to come up with anything to say in a conversation and they just talk and talk, and it's like I hear and sometimes I can follow what they are saying but usually not, and I don't know how to express that I'm listening or how to comment on what they said.

And it's not like I don't feel things or have any thoughts, although a lot of the time I think that is true.

I don't know. I usually just give up halfway when trying to talk to someone because I see they don't understand what I'm talking about and HELL even I don't.

Jesus christ what is wrong with me.

If anyone read this, I want to apologize for making no sense, but also thank you for listening, maybe you understand in a way.
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603015_tn?1329866573
i too talk to myself but i know that when i was sick it got a whole lot worse, my conversations were random, faster, looping ie repeating  themselves and also rehearsal conversations and obsessive thoughts/conversations, thats where i am right now and not sure what to make of it.
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574118_tn?1305138884
this is common for everybody to talk to yourself, it isn't bp all the time to blame. when at college reciting my lessons, i would tell myself with loud voice sould you get such question then the answer is so and so. in the shower don't you all sing. this isn't hypomania. everybody does it. but because bp are more honest to themselves and their emotions are lose they aren't ashamed of showing them around. of course not everybody does that, OR if he does it he is aware that nobody sees him. what is called wrong is when it affctes your health only, this doesn't harm anybody neither it worsens your bp on the contrary it's healthy. also OCD folks like me do it often, you know why to ascertain a certain idea in my mind i.e. to double check what is in your mind.

there is only one way to call it wrong. if someone asks me whether talikng to oneself is right or wrong, OF COURSE i would say this is nut, it's crazy and not done, but it doesn't mean i don't do it. For example, it's quite known that cleaning the inside of my nose with my fingers is unethical, this doesn;'t mean that i never did it

i don't see anything wrong talking to oneself
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Avatar_m_tn
I off and on had a voice in my head most of my life before I started medication but I argued with it in my head instead of out loud and it definitely wasn't my friend.  I guess it's more reasons why no one ever suspected something was wrong with me and I thought it was supposed to be happening.
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585414_tn?1288944902
Before recovery I didn't talk out loud but I did mentally. I always said I had "bad thoughts" to people and didn't know they were actually voices (auditory hallucinations) so that's why although I first started having that problem at age 13 I didn't start medication (which was my own idea to see a psychiatrist and sadly I didn't have the emotional support of the family at first) until age 18.
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Avatar_f_tn
Do you think maybe you could explain to me a little more about what you wrote above?
"repeating  themselves and also rehearsal conversations and obsessive thoughts/conversations, thats where i am right now and not sure what to make of it." I too have this happen, and have for a long time, it does get worse, and now that I am semi stable on Lamictal it has calmed down a bit, and I catch myself doing it, and can stop. But the rehearsal conversations, sometimes I'll be thinking about a conversation thats not going to happen, just a possible conversation, and I'll get stuck on one particular phrase and repeat it over and over in my head or in a whisper until I catch myself and stop. ILAD or hell1971, or anyone, do you know what that is?
Like I said, w/ the Lamictal and my mood stabilized better it has slowed down quite a bit, but still I catch myself doing it? Anyhow...thanks.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hehehe I am glad I am not alone in this! I thought I was going crazy as well. I've always had conversations in my head......its just that lately the conversations go on and on that it interrupts with my daily life and they make me like zone out. i've told some friends but they say its normal to talk to yourself! but I keep thinking its not normal to talk as much as I do. I sometimes forget where I am because I am so into my conversations. Sometimes they don't let me sleep! and I want to stop it and I can't I would conversate out loud and do hand movements like if I was explaining to someone else. Also sometimes the conversations repeat all over in my head obsessively..... a conversation can last hours! sometimes its gives me anxiety :S I am scared to drive because ill start having a conversation and I forget I am driving and I don't feel there behehe. I think this is happening more because I haven't been taking my meds lately.......anyways I thought i'd share lol
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909415_tn?1390585342
Well, I guess you've got your answer. But I don't think it's just bipolars that do it.  My wife isn't and for 25 years I've crossed the house wondering if she's talking to me and nope, she's talking to the voice in her head.
My difficulty is my "self-talk" isn't generally encouraging, and I don't talk back.  That's normal for me.  I can watch a tv show that's a comedy and think it's really funny and not utter a chuckle.  I'm trying to change that for the sake of my little boys.
I just have the conversations in my head.  I worry someday that it may be more than that!
Rogelio
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Avatar_f_tn
hey guys im so much relaxed after reading ur stories....because the same things happens to me......my mind is never relaxed nd i always keep thinking....i always imagines the things which has happened to me....nd which i want to happen with
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Avatar_m_tn
I thought I was the only person who did this.. Its making me crazy , It makes me sad all the time.
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Avatar_m_tn
I thought I was the only person who did this.. Its making me crazy , It makes me sad all the time.
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Avatar_m_tn
This is me.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am with you. I went to a lot of group therapy in the hospital setting in the past and now, and no one who had the bipolar diagnosis ever talked about voices in their heads like me. There were times I thought I was "odd man out." I am glad you responded to this post because I would never have seen it. It is nice to know that people who are bipolr hear the same voice in their heads, in my case, voices, or see the same people for each times I had hallucinations. In my worse episodes, they were living in my head.

Like Crystlas. I never felt lonely. During check in for partial program, one of the usual check in questions was "Do you feel isolated?" and I never felt isolated even though I spent a lot of time by myself. My mind was constantly on, no matter if I was hypomanic, mixed states, asleep, depressed and deadened or whatever. That part, everyone talked about but not the conversations, and no mentions of voices. At my worse, I was talking out loud. Answering back, and whatever. /to me they were real. I really couldn"t distinguish a real person from someone from my mind. I used to talk to have conversations with someone behind me as I walked down the street, and a few times, I have seen him, but it turned out he never existed or when I turned around, the guy wasn"t there. It never bothered me when I discovered this. So, he isn"t here, well he is gone now. That;s all I thought. Even now, when I know that it was an hallucination, it doesn"t bother me at all.

The only thing that disturbed me was that I was diagnosed and knew I was bipolar, but no one talked about this part or said this happens to them. Other people with bipolar disorder felt lonely, did feel isolation, and didn"t really want to be alone. I couldn"t wait to be alone.

I used to think that this was the way my mind was going to be from now on. Because when I was "stable" before, my mind still played out scenarios, still worked overtime, and not quiet. Now, it is pretty quiet. I am still thinking, but it is not "obvious" or "loud." anymore. There is no conversation. I can still brainstorm, create, think out of the box, play out scenarios, but it comes out when I want it to. It isn"t on "automatic pilot." My mind feels pretty relaxed. It is a big difference.

Here's the funny thing though. I still don"t feel alone when I am by myself with a quiet mind. I still prefer to be by myself when I go places or do things..even travelling to remote places where there isn"t another human being for hundreds of miles, and the only way in is by floatplane. It isn"t that I am not a social person, because I do enjoy people and can enter into conversation and interactions easily. I just like my alone time...even when it is really quiet now, up in my head. I used to think I wasn"t capable of lounging around vacations or time. Now, it's not a problem. I love being able to just lounge and fall asleep in a beautiful, peaceful setting with a quiet head and do nothing but that. For me, that is absolute luxury. For now, I really am treasuring and enjoying every moment of quiet and recovered eyesight. Especilly, after I had the "recovery unlikely" prognosis in both.
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6827092_tn?1389388419
This thread is sooo funny! I really feel home here lol. I do not hear voices but I have often conversation with myself. And even speak loud in shops etc- comenting on stuf I see :)). And omg in the car :)) I talk to other drivers all the time lol
Nice to see I am not nuts alone.
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Avatar_m_tn
hi..there,
i am thinking too much and talking to myself, people would hear it and "say he is mad".any solution for this problem.
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3092482_tn?1383176848
I figured talking to myself made me look crazy anyway, so I live in a musical now. I will sing the recipe or which pipe I'm gluing next. If I start singing or taking fast in Spanish, my family knows to be watching. My own voice talks real loud sometimes. Not like I'm yelling at myself, just the volume to my thoughts is cranked to 11. The singing helps, though I am a horrible singer. I live with a trained vocalist, but I guess I enjoy being laughed at, it's better than the blank stare. It's not a cure, but it sure makes things more interesting. I incorporate some dance moves too, that's when you know I'm feeling it. If I take my quirks less seriously, it seems like others do too.
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Avatar_f_tn
Well I think yu are very smart you made sense through your whole conversation. I am not a Dr but it sounds like you have attention deficient disorder. My younger sister has that and she constantly talks to herself out loud and i also do it but I am bp but I don' think that has anything to do with it. She can't remember anything either unless she writes it on paper. I hope you are seeing a shrink or in therapy as you need to talk to them about it. their are meds for it that really help her when she takes it. now the reason I don't think talking out loud to your self is caused from being bp is I was diagnosed in 1987 and yes when I was manic I heard voices in my head but didn't verbalize them out loud. I would say that now being on meds all these yrs and being treated with meds it has just been maybe the last 5yrs that I really talk aloud all the time and I do mean all the time I argue with myself, I hate to say it but I ***** all the time the list goes on and on but it is an outlet for my brain so I am unloading it all the time and reloading because I can't keep it all bottled up or I would explode. I suffer from severe anxiety and to me that's what causes it I stress all the time over little things big things everything I over analyze everything before I do anything. To me it is not a bad thing at all I love myself and   love talking to my self out loud or not and I don't care what other people think at all. Simply because I and you and all the people posting on here are truly intelligent that's what you have to remember it has been proven that people who talk aloud to themselves are very smart. So think of that the next time you are talking to yourself out loud. Now think of people who never talk who are so quiet who keep to themselves and never join in on a conversation at all I'm sorry but I would rather talk to myself or people all the time than be quiet......hope this helps someone and remember it is just my take on why we do this.....
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