The doctor says i may have bipolor

[bigjsut28]

I'm 29 with an 8 year old daughter and i'm finding it very hard to deal with my diagnosis at the moment as i've been feeling the same for so long. I feel that no one understands how i feel and mock me when i'm upset. It's so hard trying to explain to another person what goes through your head. I just wish someone could sit them in a room and explain to them what can happen! I feel so alone and need some support. On one side i have the mocking, then the other side they think i'm wonderful and there's nothing wrong, which there definately is. At the moment i'm very manic and feel very out of control, the doctors says i'll have to wait to see the psychiatrist which could be months, in the mean time what do i do? How do i cope if people can't understand? If i tell them how i feel, they look at me like i have two heads!!
I self harmed a few weeks back which is something i've not done for at least 10 years and that's one of the main reasons i sought help!, but feel like the urge to do it again is too much and i've tried to stop this from happening but my family, they're making me worse!!!
I just want to get better, many times i just feel like abandoning my home and just self presenting myself to the hospital, i can't deal with the way i feel and the things i do.
Anyone with any advise would be very much appreciated.
Thankyou JoJo xXx

[ILADVOCATE]

I would suggest to you that if you have engaged in any behavior that's self harmful you should seek help now.  It would also be good in general to attend mental health support groups. If you any questions about the benefits system as regards coverage for a psychiatrist and medication there are independent living centers that could provide some answers:
http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/directory/international.htm#unitedkingdom

[theguts]

First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone!  We understand what you are going through.

Maybe it would be best for you to go to a local emergency room and tell them you are thinking about hurting yourself.  This is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.  It is hard to do, but sometimes it is necessary.  Do it for your daughter.  Get her to a safe place and then take care of yourself!

I know how the family thing goes.  My father-in-law treats me like a child since my diagnosis.  My dad doesn't believe in mental health (even though he is depressed himself) and is in total denial.  My mom goes back in forth, one day she is encouraging me to get help and another she is saying "Why do you need therapy?" (she is bipolar too but also in denial, she doesn't see a psychiatrist anymore and is not on meds).

So you see, we are all in the same boat!  Everyone has problems with this illness, some the same and some different.  You just have to take care of yourself.  Don't worry about the others, they will come around or not.  But you have to get yourself back to a good place no matter what they think.

Please keep us upadated and don't be afraid to contact me.  I'm willing to listen if you need to talk.