They say bipolar disorder has the highest rate of suicide.

I can understand why. I haven't felt this way in years, I can hardly move, I can speak; I cant think. Everything is quite blunted, and i've been debating whether or not it's gotten the best of me, and its time to end my life. Maybe i'll end up somewhere beautiful, like I told myself as a child...and I overdosed. Bravest moment of my life, possibly. I was so young, that no one understood why, or how I could have put myself in a coma, if it wasn't for the extra life support. Medicine doesn't work. Nothing works. All of my happiness comes from simplistic human "needs" gratifications. I have no identity of my own..Nice to see nobody gave a **** about my assault post. Too inappropriate? ******* PC bastards. No one gave a **** when I got admitted to an adult psychiatric unit either. NO ONE gives a flying **** about mental illness. I'd rather be wiped away like mud on the shoe of earth. Thats all I am anyway. A series of statistics.

[mckee513]

I do. I've read all ur posts. I have bi polar as well so assumed I can't be if much help. I relate way to much and understand how u feel. I can't help u not feel hopeless when I feel the same way. Er would be like two addicts trying to get clean. But I can say its not worth dying over. If we can't help ourselves we can help other ppl. We may never know normal but I'm sure friends of yours rely on your help maybe more than u know.

[Crystal413]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now. I know how you feel about others reading your posts. We want to know someone is there at the other end. Know that the reason isn't that they don't care. So many of us have so many issues sometimes we can't reach out but want to. Sometimes we don't know what to say but know how you feel and would like to help. I too have felt the way your feeling. Sometimes I think it's harder to live than to die. But you know what, that is my irrational thinking. Your time of feeling this low just as mine has will pass.  When it is upon us it feels impossible that things will get better, but they do. Try to think about those who love you and would miss you. Try to think about the people who do care about you. You are important to yourself and others. I know this is so hard when your feeling this way but please try. Things I do when I can't get my head above water are...call the Suicide Hotline, call my dr or therapist or go to the hospital. Sometimes I do a few of them. I know have a drug to take that knocks me out for 20 hrs believe it or not and when I awake I feel groggy for a while and off the rest of the day, not feeling much of anything but numb and the next day I don't feel so, so bad. Then the dr tweaks my current med. I call this my new suicide prevention pill. The point is your in the moment, it will pass. Please hang in there, there are people who care. We care!

[Midijane]

I completely agree with Crystal above... it is harder to live than to die. But to hurt your loved ones that would be left behind is unfair to them. Somehow at some point in my life I've come to terms with this and don't consider a "way out" as an option anymore.

Sorry this is so short. I'm not up for writing today. Was just checking the board quickly and wanting desparately to take a nap.

Keep posting... we do listen and we do care.